Lady Smoke (Ash Princess Trilogy #2)(69)

I find my voice. “No,” I say, though I don’t sound like myself. “I didn’t have any.”

Erik nods, looking relieved. “We need to get you out of here until it’s safe.”

I finally drag my eyes to his and realize what he is and isn’t saying. Poison, but maybe not intended for the Archduke at all. He isn’t the one with a million gold pieces on his head. He isn’t the one the Kaiser wants dead or alive. Erik swallows, his eyes wide. We both know too well that the Kaiser always gets what he wants, sooner or later, and that no decree from King Etristo can stop him.

Without waiting for a response, Erik leads me out of the room and down the hall, leaving the panicked clamor behind us.





THE TRIP BACK TO MY room passes in a blur of shock. I don’t even remember the ride in the riser. All I’m aware of is my erratic heartbeat thundering in my ears. By the time we reach my room, my mind is slowly coming back to me, like fingers of sunlight through a dense forest.

“He’s dead, isn’t he?” I ask Erik, though my voice sounds far away.

He lingers uncertainly in the doorway. “Maybe the Chancellor’s sister saved him,” he says, but I don’t think either of us believes that. We both saw the Archduke’s face turn purple, and Coltania said he wasn’t breathing. When I saw the Kaiserin fall from the window after the Maskentanz, there was a stupid, hopeful part of me that believed she’d survived, up until I saw her face. But like trust, stupid hope is something I can’t afford anymore.

It’s only then that I realize how shaken Erik is as well. He’s good at hiding it—I suppose he’s seen death often enough on the battlefield. But this is different; the palace is supposed to be safe. If the Kaiser can get to me here, is there any place that is truly safe as long as he draws breath?

It might not be the Kaiser, though. The room was full of royals, each with their own conflicts and enemies. The poison wasn’t necessarily for me. But even as I think that, the Kaiser’s face looms large in my mind and I feel his hot, drunken breath on my skin. Five million gold pieces for me alive, but one million dead. One million is still plenty.

“I should stay a while, until we know the threat is contained,” Erik says. I wonder suddenly if he knows about the reward.

For a treacherous instant, I wonder if I can trust him, but I quickly banish the thought. If Erik was loyal to the Kaiser, he wouldn’t have brought me back to my room. He would have taken advantage of the chaos and taken me out of Sta’Crivero. He would have taken the five million gold pieces.

I sink down onto the sofa, the stiff material of my gown crunching underneath me. “I liked him,” I tell Erik. “At least, I liked him better than the others. He was…awkward, but he was kind. He didn’t look at me like I was a roast carved up on the table for him. And he just…he just offered me his army. No strings attached, no cut of the magic, no marriage, just a chess set of his the Theyn had.”

It’s only after I say the words that I realize I am already using the past tense.

Erik shakes his head, dropping his gaze away from me. “With the power of the Haptanian army, we could have wiped out the Kalovaxians in a month.”

A month. My heart lurches in my chest. In a month, I could have been back in Astrea, sitting on my mother’s throne. In a month, my country would have been liberated and I would have made the Kaiser pay for everything he’d done to us. Everything I’ve ever wanted was so close to being within my grasp, only to be yanked away.

I close my eyes, but there is no hiding the tears that come. I press the heels of my hands to my eyes and let the sobs rack through me.

You’re crying about your own loss while a man lies dead, I chide myself. You’re just as self-centered as the Kaiser. That only makes me cry harder.

Erik is at a loss—I imagine he hasn’t seen many crying women during his training—but after a moment, he reaches out to pat my back awkwardly. Still, I’m grateful for his attempt.

Outside the door, footsteps thunder by, followed by panicked shouts. The entire palace must be in an uproar.

“Do you have a weapon?” Erik asks me, his voice low. He doesn’t take his eyes off the door.

I nod, getting up and crossing to my bed. I’d wedged my dagger under the mattress, but now I draw it out, showing it to Erik, who eyes it appraisingly.

“Very pretty,” he says. “Do you know how to use it?”

I think about my lessons earlier with Artemisia, but suddenly all that feels very far away. That was a different size blade and it wasn’t even sharp. What little I did manage to learn in a single lesson suddenly seems useless—Erik is asking if I can defend myself if we’re attacked. That’s not sparring with dulled long blades, that’s life and death.

“You should take it,” I tell him, passing it to him and retaking my seat on the sofa.

He turns the blade over in his hands, his fingers running over the filigreed handle.

“It’s so delicate—I think I’m likely to snap it in half if I try to use it.”

My smile wobbles. “It’s stronger than it looks,” I say.

More footsteps echo in the hall outside but this time they don’t pass. Erik is on his feet between me and the door, blade poised; the instant the door swings open, though, he steps aside.

S?ren leads the charge into the room, with Blaise, Heron, and Artemisia at his heels. When they see me, they all let out a collective breath of relief.