Lady Smoke (Ash Princess Trilogy #2)(30)

I glance away. “And I pointed out that S?ren’s diplomatic experience would make him a necessary asset to me if I were to agree to marry one of these suitors in Sta’Crivero,” I say, though the words come out pinched.

Blaise’s expression is a rolling thundercloud. “You’re a queen, you can’t marry a stranger.”

“It would have happened anyway,” I point out, sitting down on the edge of my bed. “Dragonsbane would have goaded me into it, pushed me and pushed me until I was backed into a corner without another choice. It would look like she controlled me.” I draw my blanket around my shivering shoulders. “But by offering it up like that, I did it on my terms.”

Blaise makes a disapproving noise in the back of his throat but doesn’t say anything. I look at S?ren, still lingering in the doorway. The healing Heron did on him, though only superficial, was enough to make it look like he was a guest among us and not a prisoner, but away from the audience it’s clear he’s still in pain. He favors his right leg and grimaces whenever he moves either arm.

“This hostage, he didn’t try to go after you?” Artemisia asks me, drawing my attention away from S?ren.

I can’t help but snort. “Thank you for that, Art, but no.”

She rolls her eyes. “I just mean that it’s surprising, considering the Kalovaxian I interrogated said there’s a bounty on your head.”

“I can’t imagine what thoughts were going through his mind. I suppose he must have known that he wasn’t going to survive, but if he could kill Dragonsbane, he would at least die a hero. I don’t think the reward even crossed his mind,” I say, though something about that explanation nags at me.

“Mattin always had fantasies of heroics, but never the brains to see them through,” S?ren says, shaking his head. It’s a plausible explanation, but S?ren’s an easy liar to read, and sure enough, there’s the tell—his nostrils flare.

“So there are bounties on both of our heads,” I say, turning away from S?ren. “And there are Kalovaxian forces searching for us in Timmoree. And the Kaiser married Crescentia. Is that everything we learned?”

“He what?” S?ren asks, face twisting in disgust.

“They were married two days after we left Astrea, and she was crowned the day after that,” Blaise confirms. “Each of the prisoners we interrogated said the same thing.”

“But…he was trying to betroth her to me,” S?ren says, looking nauseous.

“You’re a lost cause,” I tell him. Even though my own stomach is twisting, I push my feelings down and try to stay logical. “The Theyn was growing more popular with the people than the Kaiser was. Being murdered would have added to that, turned him into a folk hero. That popularity would have even touched his daughter—Cress will be seen as sympathetic at court and that sympathy will now also spread to the Kaiser, who could sorely use some of it.”

“Not to mention she’s beautiful,” S?ren adds. “There were dozens of men trying for her hand. My father likes to take what everyone else wants.”

She isn’t beautiful anymore, though, I want to say. Not in a way the Kaiser would appreciate, at least. Though maybe he finds her power frightening. Maybe that horror is its own kind of beauty, a kind the Kaiser would want to take ownership of. I don’t let myself say any of that out loud. Even thinking it makes me feel sick.

“Why would she do it, though?” S?ren asks, horror still clear in his voice.

Because of me, I think, though again, I keep that to myself.

“Cress was raised to be Kaiserin,” I say instead. “I’m sure she would have rather married you, but that wasn’t an option anymore. She did what she had to, to get what she wanted.”

“You can’t pity her,” Art says, though I can’t tell if she’s saying it in disbelief or as a command.

“She was my friend,” I say. It’s the first time I’ve admitted that to them, though they must have known it to be true. “And as someone who came perilously close to being married to the Kaiser myself, of course I pity her.”

“You came close to what?” Blaise asks, eyes widening until they nearly bug out of his head.

I wince. I forgot that I hadn’t shared that bit of information with my Shadows.

“If you knew, you would have insisted on pulling me out of the palace too soon,” I say, keeping my voice level. “I didn’t tell you and we still got out before anything happened.”

It’s true enough, though I can’t help but think of that last banquet and the Kaiser’s hand on my thigh, his breath on me. I suppress a shudder and look to S?ren. I think he’s remembering that night, too. If we’d left even a day later…no, I won’t think about that. The Kaiser will never touch me again.

But he’s touching Cress, I remind myself. She’s his wife now, and though I’m sure she married him willingly, I can’t imagine that she was too willing about what followed.

I push the thought from my mind and focus on the present, on what I do have control over.

“S?ren, you need sleep,” I tell him before turning to Heron. Though I hate to ask more of him, I do. “Can you finish healing him? Please?”

Heron’s brow furrows and he opens his mouth to answer, but S?ren beats him to it.