Iniquitous (The Marked #3)(60)

“What? What is it?” I pushed, my nerves suddenly taking precedence over my irritation.

“You were…” Gabriel cleared his throat. “Dreaming out loud.”

“Dreaming out loud?” What the hell did that even mean?

His eyes met mine in the mirror again. “Of Dominic,” he clarified, his voice strained.

“What are you—” Oh, my God. OH MY GOD. My eyes doubled in size. “No. I wasn’t.”

“Oh, you most certainly were, angel.”

Something akin to utter and complete devastation crashed down on me. I was dreaming of Dominic. Out loud. In the car. And Trace heard the whole damn thing.

Flinging off my seatbelt, I jumped out of the car and took off running across the parking lot. I had to find him! I had to explain myself to him, and if need be, throw myself on the ground and beg for his forgiveness. I yanked open the door to the convenience store and stopped. A bell jangled over my head, but I barely noticed it or the store clerk sitting by the cash register. My entire being was too busy desperately searching through the aisles for Trace.

My stomach dipped as I spotted him at the back of the store, near the glass refrigerators. He was standing in front of the soft drinks, with the door pulled open and one hand pushed up against the frame. His head tipping low. My heart and shoulders joined my stomach on the floor.

I walked up to him, not entirely sure what I was going to say, but knowing that I had to go to him, I had to say something to make this better for him.

I called his name as I approached him from the back, but he didn’t turn around. He just continued staring at the rows of soft drinks.

My guilt smothered me.

“Trace…” I didn’t even know what to say to him. I lifted my hand to touch his back, to comfort him, but immediately dropped my hand. I couldn’t comfort him. My touch was a curse. God knows what else he’d see or feel or hear that would only further butcher his heart.

“Linley used to love this shit,” he said, holding a green can of soda in his hands. “I always told her it was going to kill her one of these days if she kept drinking so much of it, but she didn’t care.”

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t speak or move or breathe.

“If I’d have known what was coming, I would have bought her a lifetime supply of it.” He huffed out a laugh, though there was no joy or humor in it. “Ain’t life a bitch.” He dropped the can back on the shelf and grabbed a different colored one from the row below it.

I wanted to disappear into myself.

“You want anything?” he asked tentatively. He still wasn’t looking at me.

“No, thank you.” I shook my head, tears scorching my eyelids with promises of falling.

He slammed the fridge shut and started down the aisle.

“Trace, wait,” I pleaded, speed-walking to keep up with him. “I’m am so s—”

“Don’t.” He stopped short and whipped around to face me. His jaw was clamped down and his lips were pressed into a hard, uncompromising line. That was hard enough to look at, but his eyes…his eyes were completely shattered and wrecked from the inside out. “Don’t say a goddamn word about it, Jemma.”

His acidic tone stung more than a slap to the face. “Please—”

“I mean it,” he said, stepping into me. He was standing so close that his boots were clipping the tips of mine. “I’m two seconds away from ripping his fucking heart out of his chest. Do you get what I’m saying?”

Wide-eyed and speechless, I sucked in my bottom lip and nodded.

His eyes fell effortlessly to my mouth, though his shoulders were still tense and his breathing heavy and labored. I could tell he was working hard to keep himself together.

After a small pause, his shoulders sagged a little. “Look, I know it’s not your fault. I know it’s the bloodbond and I’m dealing with it as best as I can. But it’s still hard to swallow sometimes.”

Once again, he was in pain because of me. Once again, I’d managed to make his life just a little bit harder. A little bit suckier. My eyes slammed shut as I tried to block the harrowing images of his wounded eyes from burning themselves into my mind. I didn’t need another reason to loath my existence.

He picked up my chin, reigning in my attention. “The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that we’re going to be together in the end. Because what you have with Dominic, it isn’t real.” He dropped his voice so only the two of us could hear. “It’s just a shitty magic trick he forced on you when you weren’t looking.”

I felt my body recoil at his summary of what had transpired between me and Dominic.

“What we have though—what we feel for each other…that’s real, Jemma.”

My lips parted to say something to him, to tell him how much he really meant to me and how sorry I was for all the pain I caused him, but I couldn’t seem to articulate it to save my life.

He leaned in and pulled a tender kiss from my lips. “I know you love me, Jemma, even if you won’t say it. And I know we’re gonna be together, even if you can’t see it,” he said, running his thumb over my cheek. “If this is what I have to do to be with you—to get there with you, then I’ll do it.”

My legs weakened, but he was right there to keep me steady, just like he always was.