In Sight of Stars(34)

“You. Got a problem with that?”

“Well, I do love you when you are moody,” she teases. “And I always forget you have these fancy wheels. Did you have to leave the Bentley at home?” She laughs and opens the passenger door and slides in, leans across and kisses me, then falls into me, urgent, all mouth and tongue. Underneath her minty-fresh-toothpaste breath, I think I might taste the vaguest hint of alcohol.

“Man, you’re so easy,” she says, slipping her hand between my legs.

“I am. You should take advantage of it.” She throws her head back and laughs, then slinks down in the seat, propping her bare feet up on the dashboard. “So, where should we go?”

“We’re going somewhere? I thought you had the house to yourself. Didn’t you want me to come in?”

She shakes her head. “I changed my mind. The place smells. And it’s a mess. It depresses me. And anyway, it’s beautiful out. Let’s go somewhere.”

“Wherever you want.” I give her a sideways glance. “But it is way too cold to be jumping in any water.”

“Wuss. But okay. None of that. I swear. Just other things.” She kisses my cheek.

“Do you need to get shoes? A jacket or something?”

“Nope, you’ll keep me warm, won’t you?”

She leans against me, and I drive. She tells me to hook a right, then another at the bottom of Old Basin Road, and then we’re driving up a hill, and suddenly I’m pretty sure where we’re going and I can’t stop smiling. Lookout Ridge at the very top of River Drive. I’ve heard kids at school talking about it, some unpaved path that takes you through the woods to a secluded spot where all the couples go to hook up.

“Turn left here,” she says, pointing out a narrow dirt road without a sign that she says is River Drive. After another few hundred yards, we go from dirt road to pretty much unexcavated pathway covered in low bushes and foliage trampled down from years of cars and all-terrain vehicles plowing through.

Finally, we arrive at a clearing that ends at a rickety old metal rail, and she points and says, “Park there.” Off to our left are thick woods, and in front of us, steep cliffs spill down into the Hudson. I must look unsure because she says, “Promise you, it’s okay. No one will care. No one comes to this spot, except a few stoners looking to get high.”

“And people looking to hook up.”

“Nope,” she says. “Other direction. Were you hoping?”

I laugh, but maybe my heart sinks a little. Still, I turn off the ignition and start to open my door. But instead of getting out, Sarah crawls into the backseat and says. “I prefer the less-traveled places, and it’s too cold out there. Plus, you’ve got this fancy car to take advantage of. You coming to warm me up, Alden?”

I close my door again and tumble into the back, and we make out like lunatics, and then, she’s working at my pants, my fly, her teeth biting my lower lip, her sweet-mint tongue sliding in and rolling around with mine.

“You want me?” she asks, and I do—of course I do—but I don’t answer, because I actually need to slow things down.

But she’s not waiting for an answer, or for me to find a way to chill. She pulls my hands up under her T-shirt, and says, “Don’t be shy. Go ahead. You can.”

I cup her perfect breasts in my hands, let my fingers pull softly at her nipples. She moans and undoes her jeans, pushing them down, and letting my hand slip between her pale, soft thighs. I touch her there, over her panties, then follow suit, yanking my jeans off, leaving only my boxers, delirious at the feel of her body.

“Wait, do you take something?” I whisper, realizing what we’re about to do, yet unable to stop myself from pressing against her. I feel her pulse against me through our underwear. Or maybe it’s me I feel pulsing. Either way, it doesn’t matter. I’m done before I ever get my boxers fully down.

There’s sticky wet bullshit all over the inside of my legs.

Fuck.

Shit.

Jesus, Klee.

Cant you do anything right?

I can’t breathe. I can’t think. This has never happened before. Not in the city. Not with either of the other two girls I slept with there. It never happened before fucking Northhollow.

“Shit,” I whisper. “I’m sorry.”

She sits up and pulls her shirt down, pulls her jeans on.

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” I say again. I sit up and stare out the window. “I think it’s this car … it was my dad’s and … I can’t move around right…” I don’t finish the thought. It’s dumb, a lie, and she knows it. She adjusts her clothes, not looking at me. “I can be ready in a minute, if you give me…” My words are idiotic, and my ears burn hot and red. I don’t even know what I’m saying.

“Forget it, Alden,” she says, climbing back into the front seat. “I’m flattered. Really. It’s no big deal.” But she doesn’t look flattered. And she can’t even stand to be next to me.

“Sarah—”

“God! You really need to lighten up, Alden. You’re too intense. It’s hard to take. I like you a lot. I do. But everything with you feels like such a big deal.”

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s not. I just…”