I Was Born for This(22)

By eight o’clock, most people have moved into Wetherspoon’s and I’m having a great time, but Mac and Juliet, it seems, are not.

Juliet hasn’t spoken to many people. I think she wants to, but Mac won’t leave her side or stop talking to her, so it’s a bit difficult for her to get involved in any conversations. I keep trying to include her, but somehow Mac keeps dragging her out of the conversation again every single time. Then again, Juliet doesn’t seem to mind talking to him.

After a while, they just go and sit at a table together, by themselves. Juliet’s showing Mac something on her phone. I’m pissed off at Mac for not letting Juliet have fun and I’m pissed off at Juliet for not seeing how annoying Mac is.

I didn’t think I could dislike him any more than I already did.

This was supposed to be my and Juliet’s week. The week where we became real best friends, not just internet best friends.

I’ve always had friends – people I sit with at school, people I talk to, people I hang out with sometimes. But I’ve never had a best friend. I’ve never had a friend, or anyone, really, who I could talk to about anything and everything, someone who actually cared about the stuff I’m interested in. Someone who didn’t roll their eyes when I got too excited about stuff, someone whose eyes didn’t glaze over when I told a lengthy anecdote. Someone who actually liked me for who I am, not just because I’m easy to talk to and good at filling awkward silences.

Until I started talking to Juliet.

‘Are they your friends, or are you intensely in love with one of them?’ a voice asks in my direction, causing me to spin round on the spot and find myself facing a girl with a big smile on her face holding a glass bottle of J2O.

‘Definitely friends,’ I splutter, suddenly imagining ever being in love with either Juliet or Mac. Absolutely laughable.

The girl chuckles to herself and takes a sip of her drink. She doesn’t actually look like she’s here for the fandom meet-up – she’s wearing an oversized All Time Low T-shirt and a casual pair of jeans. And she just looks older. No, not older – more mature. Someone who doesn’t spend every night of their life watching The Ark videos or reading fanfiction.

‘Are you here for the meet-up?’ I ask, genuinely curious.

She leans onto the bar. ‘Well, sort of. I’m here with a friend who’s a massive Ark fan. I’m not really one myself, but …’ She grins to herself. ‘Well, I wanted to see what it was like. I’ve never been to anything like this.’

‘If it makes you feel any better, neither have I!’ I say. ‘But … I am an Ark fan. If you couldn’t already tell.’ I flash my phone at her, which has Jimmy as the lock-screen wallpaper.

She shrugs. ‘Can’t really tell, can you? Unless you’re literally wearing their tour merch. The Ark fans could be anyone.’

‘That’s true …’

A bartender finally notices I’m waiting and I ask him for another J2O. The girl immediately says, ‘Hey, we’re J2O buddies! Don’t you drink either?’

‘Nah, mate. I’m Muslim. I mean, some Muslims drink, but I don’t.’

‘Oh cool! I wish I had a mature excuse like that. I just think it tastes like wee.’

‘Does it actually taste like wee?’

‘Well, I haven’t ever drunk my own wee, so I can’t actually back up that statement.’

The bartender brings over my J2O just as the girl says this, causing him to give us a frown. When he leaves, we both snort out a laugh.

‘Note to self, don’t talk about drinking wee in front of strangers,’ she says.

‘Too late. It’s done.’

‘Man. Great first impression there.’

‘It’s a memorable one, I’ll give you that.’

She grins at me and asks, ‘What’s your name, then?’

There’s a momentary malfunction in my brain where I forget whether I’m supposed to be introducing myself as Fereshteh or Angel. But we’re in The Ark fandom right now. The internet in real life. So I go with the latter.

‘It’s Angel,’ I say.

‘Angel! What a fucking fantastic name,’ she says. ‘I’m Bliss.’

Bliss is the best person I’ve met tonight.

It’s rare that I meet someone as talkative as I am, but Bliss is most definitely that. Despite having told me she’s not really an Ark fan, she’s been running around the room with me, speaking to everyone. I introduce her to TJ and Pops and other fans that I know from the internet. I introduce her to Juliet, once I finally find her lurking near the bar, though Juliet doesn’t really seem to know what to say to Bliss, who immediately starts talking about Juliet’s phone case, which has pressed flowers inside it, declaring that she had no idea flowers didn’t just disintegrate within a few weeks of dying, and why were there not just a load of dead flowers lying around in gardens everywhere? Where do the dead flowers go? I just shrug my shoulders exaggeratedly while Juliet widens her eyes at me as if to say, ‘What the fuck is happening, Angel?’

Bliss doesn’t introduce or even point out the friend that she came with. I start to wonder whether she made them up.

Eight thirty becomes ten o’clock and I stick with Bliss for the rest of the night. Something about her is different to the other fans. She’s loud and chatty, but when we settle in and start discussing complex Ark issues, Bliss hangs back and just listens. Then she whispers a joke in my ear and I feel like I’ve known her for years.