House of Darken (Secret Keepers #1)(36)
No more words were coming. A sob escaped, and I tried to yank myself free from Lexen. He wouldn’t let me go. I wanted to beg, but I couldn’t say anything. I decided to stop fighting. Why did I care if he saw me break? This wasn’t me being weak, this was me hurting, and I was allowed to express that.
Sobs started ripping from my chest. I raised my free hand to cover my face. The tears were never-ending salty streams that filled my eyes and overflowed down my face. I caved in on myself, the pain in my chest so intense that if I hadn’t done this plenty of times over the past eight months I might have wondered if I was having a heart attack.
Lexen didn’t say anything, but he also didn’t leave. He stayed right by my side, holding my arm and letting me cry.
“I miss them,” I whispered, my voice a broken crackle. “Why did they have to die? Why did they have to leave me?”
I was so alone. Always alone.
He let out a low curse and dropped my arm. I expected him to run away – hello, crying teenage girl was boy kryptonite – but he didn’t. He stepped forward and wrapped me up in both of his arms, pulling me close to his body. Holy crap. He might be an asshole, but he gave good hugs. His warmth surrounded me as my face buried into his bare chest. I flinched slightly as he pressed on my still tender skin. His grip loosened, but he didn’t let me go.
“You’re going to be okay. I’ll make sure they find your family.”
He was murmuring, and it was like I didn’t know who the hell this guy was.
I was so astonished by Lexen’s actions that I was able to push my grief back down. The sobs died off, the pressure in my chest easing again. This cry would relieve the aching for some time. In truth, the breakdowns were getting further apart. Maybe soon I’d even start to function like a normal, non-devastated person.
As I straightened, he stepped back and gave me space. I wiped at my cheeks, my breathing evening out. I felt hugely awkward. This was more emotion than I had expressed in a long time, and doing it in front of a stranger was not the most fun.
“I’m really tired,” I lied. “Going to try get some more sleep.” I could tell from the darkness and moon that it was still the middle of the night.
Lexen didn’t argue. He nodded and propped himself back against the wall. “I’ll wake you in time for school,” was all he said as I slipped back into his bedroom.
By the time I got back into my box my head was spinning. Stockholm syndrome … screw off. You are not welcome here.
9
I managed to drift off for a few more hours, which were thankfully dream free. Lexen kept his word, waking me by dropping a school uniform on my chest, along with a new toothbrush. Rubbing my tired, slightly swollen eyes, I stumbled off to the shower. By the time I got downstairs – without the help of my jailer, surprisingly – everyone was already standing around the kitchen island bench.
“Good morning!” Star sang. She looked beautiful, her long hair straight and shiny; her uniform fit her perfectly. She had on high black knee socks and heels to finish the ensemble.
Meanwhile I looked like someone who’d slept only a few hours and had been crying all over a dude who hated me. Lexen didn’t even glance my way. Pretty sure we both just wanted to forget last night even happened.
“Morning. Thanks for the uniform.” I returned her smile, before I turned toward Lexen. “I’ll need to grab my bag before we go. My Daelight security card and school identification are in it.”
Lexen flicked a look at Jero. “Go with her. We’ll meet you by the gate. Everyone in one car today.”
Jero held out a hand for me. I didn’t even think twice before placing my palm into his. “Let’s walk, pretty girl.”
I snorted. “It’s Em-ma…”
He just winked at me, completely unfazed. Our silence was comfortable as we walked along their long drive. When we closed in on the imposing fence, I asked him: “How come you get to bastardize the uniform and not get into trouble? I got slapped with a pretty hardcore set of rules when I enrolled.”
He wore part of the uniform, the dress shirt and slacks, but he had his own suit jacket on, a different tie, and of course, expensive dress shoes.
“Rules don’t apply to us,” he replied simply.
“Is that why none of you take books to class?” I shot back. “Do you pay for grades?”
He shook his head, a half-smile tilting up the corner of his mouth. The scar was very visible in the light, but it really didn’t detract from his devastatingly handsome face at all. Maybe he was right last night: chicks dig scars. Those crystal blue eyes locked on me.
“We don’t pay for grades. We’re just really fucking smart.”
I hadn’t heard them curse much. For some reason, in their accent it kind of made me want to laugh. Normally they sounded so cultured, European or something. Drop a swear word in there and the culture disappeared. Kind of. They pulled it off anyway.
As we crossed the road, my eyes immediately zoomed in on my driveway, hoping like anything that our old clunker would be there. That my guardians were just lost and had somehow found their way home last night.
It was empty. My throat got tight; my heart clenched. They had to be okay. I couldn’t lose another family. I wouldn’t survive it.
I must have made a distressed sound because Jero slung an arm around me. “I’d cry too if I lived in a dump like this. You should probably just move in with us.”