Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating(76)
I feel the pinprick of tears behind my eyes, and for once they’re happy tears. I try to blink them away as Abba wraps me in the warmest embrace.
After our conversation, Amma makes us the most perfect breakfast to celebrate Abba’s victory: bhapa pitha. She makes a few with gur between the steamed rice, a few with minced meat, and some with cheese. I eat one of each, and by the time I’m done with breakfast I’m completely full.
More than the breakfast itself, though, it’s sitting at the breakfast table with Abba and Amma, feeling content and happy, that makes everything perfect. Like everything is finally getting back on track. Everything … except Ishu. But I have plans for that too.
So, after breakfast I find myself pulling out the baking trays from the kitchen cabinets.
“Planning on baking something?” Amma asks with a raised eyebrow.
“I need to make things up to Ishu,” I say. “Like you and Abba said … I want to show her that I’m in her corner.”
“And baking is going to do that?” Amma asks. Her question makes me pause in my tracks. It’s not exactly the most ingenious idea, but it’s all I have.
I take a deep breath and say, “God, I hope so.”
chapter forty-four
ishu
I WAKE UP ON MONDAY MORNING TO A TEXT FROM NIK that reads good luck today! Instead of making me feel better, though, it makes my stomach drop. The thought of going into school and standing up in front of our entire year to tell them about why I should be Head Girl next year? It feels like too much.
Still, I climb out of bed and slip into my uniform. I shuffle down the stairs to find Ammu waiting for me at the table. For a moment I wonder if she’s somehow found out about the Head Girl presentations. Maybe she heard from one of the other parents, or maybe the school texted her about it. The thought of her knowing fills me with dread. Because what if I don’t win—and that seems like a pretty big possibility at this stage—and then I’ve disappointed my parents once more?
“Ishu.” A smile flickers on Amma’s lips when she spots me. “Do you want me to make you some breakfast?”
“Um, no,” I mumble. “I’ll have some cereal.” I grab the milk, bowl, and cereal and take a seat opposite Ammu. She’s not even on her phone or anything. She just observes me, as if she’s seeing me for the first time in a while.
“Your school called,” she says finally when I’m already halfway through my cereal.
“Oh?” I try to sound nonchalant but the dread in the pit of my stomach grows.
“They told us that the accusation that student made about you has been dropped. You’re not being investigated anymore.”
“Yeah,” I say, stifling a sigh of relief. “Did I … not mention that?” I’ve become too good at avoiding seeing Ammu and Abbu. Since they’re so busy all the time, it’s too easy.
“Your principal said that Nik was the one who spoke to her and helped clear your name.”
I pause with a spoon of cereal halfway to my mouth. Ammu is looking straight at me, and there’s a question in her gaze.
“Yeah … Nik … I … called her.” I drop the spoonful of cereal back into the bowl, and it makes a splashing sound. Suddenly, I don’t feel so hungry anymore.
Ammu shakes her head. “Your Abbu wasn’t happy to hear about that. You should have talked to us. We’re trying to give Nik some space. We’re trying to—”
“Cut her out of our family,” I say. “I … talked to you two. You didn’t believe me. Nik … she believed me. She knew that I would never cheat. I didn’t even have to ask her for help. I didn’t ask her to do anything. But she did help. She knew how to fix everything. She was there for me.”
Ammu takes a deep breath. “Well, I’m glad that she helped you, I am. But you can’t go running to your sister when you have a problem. She needs to know that what she’s doing is wrong. We don’t support her in her decision.”
“But she’s happy,” I say.” And she’s … figuring things out.”
“Everything was already figured out.” Ammu’s voice is cold and heavy. Like her mind’s made up about Nik and there’s no changing it. For a moment, I’m not sure if I should ask the questions I want to ask. I’m afraid of the answers that Ammu might give me. I’m afraid that maybe our parents don’t love us the way that I’ve always thought they did.
But then, the words are suddenly out of my lips. “What if Nik never goes back to university? What if she never becomes a doctor? You won’t speak to her ever again?” The questions hang heavy between us, and Ammu’s face shifts. From cold and hard to an expression of despair.
“That won’t happen.” But the waver in Ammu’s voice makes me realize that she thinks it might. Maybe the last time my family was whole was that day Nik came home. The day we sat together at this very table, eating our biryani. The day everything changed.
And I hadn’t even taken the time to appreciate it.
Principal Gallagher calls me into her office almost as soon as I come into school. I’m half afraid that Aisling has made another accusation against me. I step into the office gingerly, wondering if this is another ambush. But Principal Gallagher just urges me to take a seat and shoots me a pleasant smile, which makes her look kind of constipated.