Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating(17)

I smile, thinking back to Aisling and Dee’s confusion about Bengali parties just the other day. If I had mentioned the word dawat to them, I’m not sure how they would have reacted—with even more confusion, I’m pretty sure.

I turn back to my laptop and the blank white page in front of me.

Started dating: after hanging out together at Bengali dawats.

I frown at the sentence for a moment, before turning back to Ishu. “How long have we been together?”

Ishu scrunches up her face a little, like this is the last question she wants to answer. I have to bite back a smile. At school, Ishu always seems so controlled. Completely put together. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her … let go. Ever seen her at ease. I’ve definitely never seen her scrunch up her face like this before.

“It can’t be for very long …” she finally says slowly. “Because … I mean, that would be suspicious, right?”

“Right …”

Started dating 2 weeks ago: after hanging out together at Bengali dawats.

“We should have some rules,” I say. I type RULES in big bold letters.

“What kind of rules, exactly?”

“Like … we can’t tell anyone the truth,” I say, meeting her gaze with my own. “Not our parents, not our best friends. Nobody.”

Ishu shrugs. “It’s not like I have anyone to tell anyway.”

RULES:

1. Hani and Ishu can’t tell anyone the truth about their plans.

2.

Almost as soon as I stop typing, Ishu clears her throat and says, “We need boundaries.”

“What kind of boundaries?”

“Well … how long is our relationship going to last? When will we break up? Who breaks up with who?”

I shake my head because it should be obvious, right? “We break up when our goal is complete. When you become Head Girl and … Aisling and Dee understand that I am who I am.”

Ishu is watching me, almost unblinking. There’s something uncomfortable in her scrutiny. I can almost feel the judgment through her gaze. I shift around in my chair, avoiding her stare. I expect her to say something condescending or mean about what I’ve just said.

But she finally just says, “Okay. That makes sense, I guess. I should break up with you, though.”

I scoff, turning to her with narrowed eyes. “What? Why?”

“Because if I break up with you then people will think I’m cool. Plus, then your friends will feel sorry for you.”

I can only blink at Ishu for a moment. “Oh. I guess … that makes sense too.”

RULES:

1. Hani and Ishu can’t tell anyone the truth about their plans.

2. Hani and Ishu will break up when Ishu is Head Girl and …

I pause, not sure how to phrase the last part of the sentence.

2. Hani and Ishu will break up when Ishu is Head Girl and Hani’s friends accept her for who she is.

An inexplicable lump is forming in my throat, but I gulp it down and keep typing.

3. Ishu will break up with Hani when their goals are completed.

“Okay.” I spin my chair around all the way this time to look at Ishu. “Anything else?”

Ishu seems to consider the question for a moment. She looks down at the baby blue duvet on the bed, picking lint off of it with her fingers. “You know, I’ve never dated anyone before.”

If I didn’t know any better, I would think Ishu actually sounded … insecure? She suddenly seems smaller—like admitting that little thing about her has somehow diluted the … intensity of her. Even though I assumed she had never dated anyone before, and I know she knows I assumed that.

“It’s not a big deal,” I say. “Dating is like …” I lean back in my chair and stare up at my ceiling as if I have spent an eternity studying the intricacies of dating. Really I’ve been in one relationship with a boy who was kind of horrible. And I went on a few dates after which that amounted to absolutely nothing. “It’s … not a big deal. When you’re dating someone for real, I mean. It’s just about having fun, right? About being with someone who makes you happy.”

“What if I do something wrong?” From the little ridge that appears on Ishu’s forehead, I know that she’s not joking. She’s actually worried about getting dating wrong. I’m not sure if that’s possible.

“You won’t get it wrong,” I reassure her. “That’s why we have this to help us.” I point to the document open on my laptop. “To help us get everything right.”

I lean toward the laptop and click a few buttons until I can type in Ishu’s e-mail address.

I can hear the tinny beep of Ishu’s phone. She slips it out of her pocket and snorts. “Cute title. Not obvious at all.”

I roll my eyes and open my mouth to retort, but Amma’s voice floating up the stairs interrupts my thoughts completely.

“Hani! Bring Ishita down to eat dinner!”

“Okay, coming!” I call back, hoping she can hear me through the closed door.

I turn back to Ishu. “You don’t speak Sylheti, do you?”

Ishu shakes her head. “I understood a little, though. Food, right?”

I smile, nodding, a strangely pleasant feeling bubbling up in my stomach that I don’t quite understand.