Graceling (Graceling Realm #1)(38)

“Yes?” Helda said. “But that doesn’t account for the pain in your eyes. That will be the doing of one of your young men.”

Katsa said nothing. Everyone in this castle was a mind reader. Everyone could see through her, and she saw nothing.

“If the king is angry with you,” Helda said, “and if you’re having trouble with one of your young men, then we’ll make you especially beautiful for the evening. You’ll wear your red dress.”

Katsa almost laughed at that bit of Helda logic, but the laugh got caught in her throat. She would leave the court after this night. For she didn’t want to be here any longer, with her uncle’s fury, Giddon’s sarcastic, hurt pride, and, most of all, Po’s betrayal.

———

Later, when Katsa was dressed and Helda grappled with her wet hair before the fire, there was a knock at her entrance. Katsa’s heart flew into her throat, for it would be a steward, summoning her to her uncle; or even worse, Po, come to read her mind and hurt her again with his explanations and his excuses. But when Helda went to the door, she came back with Raffin.

“He’s not the one I expected,” Helda said. She folded her hands across her stomach and clucked.

Katsa pressed her fingers to her temples. “I must speak to him alone, Helda.”

Helda left. Raffin sat on her bed and curled his legs up, as he had done when he was a child. As they both had done so many times, sitting together on her bed, talking and laughing. He didn’t laugh now, and he didn’t talk. He only sat, all arms and legs, and looked at her in her chair by the fire. His face kind and dear, and open with worry.

“That dress suits you, Kat,” he said. “Your eyes are very bright.”

“Helda imagines that a dress will solve all my problems,” Katsa said.

“Your problems have multiplied since you last left the court. I spoke to Giddon.”

“Giddon.” His very name made her tired.

“Yes. He told me what happened with Lord Ellis. Honestly, Katsa. It’s quite serious, isn’t it? What will you do?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t decided.”

“Honestly, Katsa.”

“Why do you keep saying that? I suppose you think I should have tortured the fellow, for doing no wrong?”

“Of course not. You did right. Of course you did right.”

“And the king won’t control me anymore. I won’t be his animal anymore.”

“Kat.” He shifted, and sighed. He looked at her closely. “I can see you’ve made up your mind. And you know I’ll do anything in my power to stop his hand. I’m on your side in anything to do with Randa, always. It’s just… it’s just that…”

She knew. It was just that Randa paid little heed to his son the medicine maker. There was very little in Raffin’s power to do, while his father lived.

“I’m worried for you, Kat,” he said. “That’s all. We all are. Giddon was quite desperate.”

“Giddon.” She sighed. “Giddon proposed marriage to me.”

“Great hills. Before or after you saw Ellis?”

“After.” She gestured impatiently. “Giddon thinks marriage is the solution to all my problems.”

“Hmm. Well, how did it go?”

How did it go? She felt like laughing, though there was no humor in it. “It began badly and progressed to worse,”

she said, “and ended with my coming to the realization that Po is a mind reader. And a liar.”

Raffin considered her for a moment. He started to speak, then stopped. His eyes were very gentle. “Dear Katsa,” he finally said. “You’ve had a rough few days, what with Randa and Giddon and Po.”

And Po the roughest, though all the danger might lie with Randa. Po the wound she would remove, if she could choose one to remove. Randa could never hurt her as Po had.

They sat quietly. The fire crackled beside her. The fire was a luxury; there was barely a chill to the air, but Helda had wanted her hair to dry more quickly, so they’d set the great logs burning. Her hair fell now in curls around her shoulders. She pushed it behind her ears and tied it into a knot.

“His Grace has been a secret since he was a child, Kat.”

Here they came, then, the explanations and the rationalizations. She looked away from him and braced herself.

“His mother knew he’d only be used as a tool, if the truth came out. Imagine the uses of a child who can sense reactions to the things he says, or who knows what someone’s doing on the other side of a wall. Imagine his uses when his father is the king. His mother knew he wouldn’t be able to relate with people or form friendships, because no one would trust him. No one would want anything to do with him. Think about it, Katsa. Think about what that would be like.”

She looked up at him then, her eyes on fire, and his face softened. “What a thing for me to say. Of course you don’t need to imagine it.”

No, for it was her reality. She hadn’t had the luxury of hiding her Grace.

“We can’t blame him for not telling us sooner,” Raffin said. “To be honest, I’m touched that he told us at all. He told me just after you left. He has some ideas about the kidnapping, Kat.”

Yes, as he must have ideas about a great many things he was in no position to know anything about. A mind reader could never be short on ideas. “What are his ideas?”