Girls with Sharp Sticks (Girls with Sharp Sticks, #1)(37)

I leave my room and head downstairs, the first to arrive. Other girls begin entering the dining hall, and the ones who don’t know about Lennon Rose yet are chatting, smiling. Unaware of how we’re changed.

Brynn nods to me when she comes to the table, but we don’t say anything. I’m surprised when Valentine sits with us, saying a pleasant hello to Marcella when she arrives. Valentine smiles, seeming oblivious to what’s happened to Lennon Rose. I thought she’d said something to upset her, but the doctor told me Lennon Rose’s dismissal was over money. Maybe Valentine had just been trying to comfort her.

Sydney and Annalise are the last to arrive. Sydney’s eyes are puffy from crying. As they sit at the table, drawing stares from the other girls, there’s an open space left on the bench for Lennon Rose.

But Lennon Rose won’t be joining us today. She’s somewhere else, without shoes. Without her girls.

Valentine tilts her head, examining our expressions. “What’s wrong?” she asks. We’re silent for a moment, but I can’t ignore her question.

“Lennon Rose has left campus,” I tell her quietly. “She’s . . .” My voice hitches. “She’s not coming back.”

Brynn lowers her head, sniffling. And the other girls look positively sick over it. But Valentine stares back at me with no noticeable response. And then she says, “Huh.”

It’s stunning, her nonreaction. I’m about to say something about it when I hear the doors to the dining hall open.

“Can I have your attention, please?” Anton calls loudly as he enters the room. He’s wearing a fuzzy blue sweater over his polo, his glasses gone. Several girls smile at his presence, immediately comforted. But I watch with impatience, waiting for an explanation. Waiting for words that can alleviate my pain.

“This is going to be very difficult,” Anton begins, stopping at the front of the room. He slips his hands into the pockets of his slacks, appearing both caring and vulnerable as he surveys our faces. He pauses, pressing his lips together when he notices me. He returns his focus to the room.

“One of our girls has left us,” he announces sympathetically. “It is with a heavy heart that I have to tell you that Lennon Rose is no longer with Innovations Academy. Her father came for her early this morning, as their family is moving out of state, and Lennon Rose will attend a wonderful school out east. She sends her love. As soon as she’s settled, I’ll reach out to her and see if we can start a correspondence. Not before. Until then, all we know is that Lennon Rose would want you to be happy,” he adds with a smile.

But his words ring hollow to me. I can tell by the way Sydney squeezes my hand that she’s not buying them either. Yes, Lennon Rose would want us to be happy. But this morning, she must have been scared, terrified. She wouldn’t have left so easily. She would have begged to see us one last time.

“Now if any of you have questions,” Anton continues, “or want to come speak to me privately about this development, let me know and I’ll work you into the schedule. Otherwise, please keep your upward momentum by being excellent girls in and out of the classroom. You make your parents, Mr. Petrov, and all of us here at Innovations Academy very proud.”

He nods his goodbye, and without even pausing, he heads straight for the door and walks out. So much for taking questions.

The room buzzes as the other girls wonder aloud what made Lennon Rose leave. A few wonder if she was in trouble, but that thought is immediately dismissed because it’s Lennon Rose they’re talking about. Eventually, I hear someone mention money—or more specifically, the lack of it—and the excuse spreads quickly throughout the room.

Overall, the others determine that Anton knows what’s best. If he says it was time for Lennon Rose to leave, then it must be true.

But Sydney and I are destroyed, almost like we can physically feel a piece of us missing. Marcella stares at her hands folded on the table, sniffling every so often as Brynn comforts her. Annalise stares out the window again.

It’s Valentine, sitting across from me, who catches my attention. She meets my eyes, and then there is the slightest turn of a smile on her lips.

“Everything’s going to be fine, Philomena,” she says calmly. “You’ll see.” And then she stands up and leaves the dining hall.

As the other girls go back to their rooms for self-reflection, I decide to track down Anton. I need to talk to someone about the crushing pain in my chest. The loneliness. Who better than the analyst?

I don’t see him in the halls, so I head straight for his office, relieved when I see his light on inside. I knock softly on the glass.

“Come in,” Anton calls with a hint of surprise.

I open the door and find him at his file cabinet. His face tightens when he sees me, but then he smiles.

“Philomena,” he says, closing the drawer. “What can I do for you?”

His question seems odd, considering the circumstances. “I’m here about Lennon Rose,” I say.

“I should have figured,” Anton replies, a little embarrassed, and goes to sit behind his desk. “You want to talk about how you’re feeling.”

I nod, and he motions for me to sit down in the oversized leather chair across from his desk. I cross my legs at the ankle, not resting back the way I usually do during our therapy sessions. This time is different.