Furia(47)

“I got hurt in a scrimmage,” I said.

Pablo laughed. “Stop trying to be funny. Really, what happened?”

I shrugged. “Walking to Diego’s car, I fell in a pothole, turned up in a fairyland. But I had no choice but to come back to real life.” The joke revealed too much, but he still smiled.

“Just be careful, okay?” he said. “Everyone knows fairylands are full of wolves.”





19





Did something count as a miracle if it was possible only because of a lie? I didn’t really want to find out, so I put Deolinda’s estampita in my nightstand drawer.

In the shower, sand fell from my tangled hair and gathered like crumbs at my feet. After, wrapped in my towel, I curled up in bed, hugging the Juventus jersey, which still smelled like Diego. The nightstand was covered in dry petals.

In between pangs of pain in my leg, my body thrilled at the memory of tonight. I repeated Diego’s words and promises so I wouldn’t ever forget them, so they could make me stronger.

He had power over me, but I had power over him, too.

I fantasized about what it would be like if I were flying out with him tomorrow. Heading to the glamorous new life he had in Italy. I wasn’t the first or the last girl dating a fútbol player to do this.

My body was on fire. I hovered at the edge of dreamland, feeling Diego’s gentle fingers on my skin, his soft mouth on mine.

I hadn’t pushed the dresser in front of the door to protect me. Nico had stayed with Pablo.

I heard someone come into my room.

“Camila, what’s wrong?” my mom exclaimed, shaking my shoulder. I bolted upright. “Hija, are you okay?”

My heart hammered painfully all over my skin, as if that’s all I was, a heart. My mom held my face in her cold, cold hands and pressed her lips to my forehead. For a moment, I was afraid that she’d sense Diego in me, and all the things I’d been hiding from her.

Then I remembered. Today was Diego’s last day.

“I didn’t hear the alarm,” I said, gasping as if I’d run sprints. My voice was raspy.

“Mi amor, I think you’re sick,” she said, looking around the room as if searching for someone or something to blame. She stared at the flowers and then at me. “Is it because Diego leaves in the afternoon?”

Rationally, I knew he had to go back to Italy. I didn’t want him to stay in Rosario. I would have hated it if he turned his back on the dream of his life just to be with me. Last night, like the two lovesick kids we were, we’d promised we’d wait for each other; we’d make the long-distance relationship work. It wouldn’t be like the last time he left.

I clenched my body to control the shaking, and all I got was another cramp in my calf. Diego wasn’t there to help me flex my foot, and I didn’t have a physiotherapist to make me drink fancy water.

Mamá looked worried. “Pablo told me you fell in the street yesterday. Are you okay? Maybe you should stay home today.”

I hadn’t missed a day of school since the bus strike in third grade. School and the fútbol field were my sacred safe spaces.

“I can’t miss,” I said. “I have a history quiz and a math test.”

Mamá walked around my room, inspecting it. If I didn’t distract her, she’d find the Juventus jersey hidden under the pillow. My name on the back could complicate things more than if Diego had given me a diamond ring.

“Where were you last night?” I asked.

She smiled, her eyes shining. “I had to turn in a dress, and since it was raining, Papi offered to drive me.” She bit her lip and clasped her hands like a little girl bursting with gossip. But Mamá had practice at hiding things, too. She started picking up my laundry and said, “Later, he drove me to get some fabric for a special dress I’m planning, and then he took me out to eat. Isn’t that wonderful?”

She tripped, and when she picked up the new doorknob I’d left on the floor, a cloud passed over her face.

“What’s wrong, Ma?”

She looked at me as if she was peeling layers of time off me to see the little girl I’d once been.

“You look terrible. I think you’re ojeada.” She shook her finger at me. “I told you, be careful with the promises you make to random saints. You were looking pretty just the other day.”

Her cruelty left me speechless.

“I wish you were still little.” She sighed and put a hand over her heart. “I wish someone had the recipe to keep kids small and safe.”

I hated it when she said things like this. Like it was my fault I couldn’t stay ten years old forever. It wasn’t like I’d had any say in how fast my breasts grew or when I got my period. Why was she making me feel guilty for being alive?

She got up to leave, taking the doorknob with her. “I’ll go ahead and install this. I should’ve done it already. Now, get going. You’re going to be late.”

My limbs were lead, my muscles bruised, but I didn’t waste any time getting dressed.





“Have you talked to your parents?” Roxana asked when the lunch bell rang, and I had no choice but to follow her to the school courtyard. “Mine were sad I had to choose between the graduation and the tournament, but priorities, you know? My mom ordered my dress already and everything. But now she’s spearheading the fundraising for the team.”