Four Doors Down(38)

“Yeah, Ryan. Well done,” I tell him sweetly. He grins back at me and flips me the finger. I shake my head in amusement and pick up the box of donuts and hold it toward the rest of their group. “Want one?” I ask.

The boys help themselves, but Katie shakes her head. “No thanks, if I ate that stuff I’d be the size of a whale.” She laughs. “I don’t know how you do it.”

Okay, that sounded dangerously like a compliment. Ever since I saw her at Ryan’s after his grandma’s funeral, she’s gone out of her way to say hi to me. It’s a bit weird.

“So, did I hear you guys went to a Red Rhinos gig a couple of weeks ago?” Jake asks. Sam nods at him in response. “Were they good? My cousin sent me some of their stuff. She’s a huge fan.”

“Yeah, they were cool,” Sam answers.

Jake looks to me for my answer. “They were awesome,” I agree. And if Charlie’s excitement afterward was anything to go by, they really were.

“You liked them?” Ryan asks me suddenly. He’s looking at me directly.

I nod and he raises an eyebrow at me.

“It was just too busy,” Sam tells him. “Like crazy busy. You couldn’t move it was so packed.”

“And you had a good time?” Ryan persists, looking at me.

I nod again, this time, looking down at the table.

“You hate crowds,” Ryan says, and I look up to see he’s looking me straight in the eye, and I feel the blood rush to my face. I hate it when he does this. When he acts like he knows me. Especially in front of other people. I don’t know why he can’t just act like we don’t know each other, which is the way it is. The way it’s been for years.

“It wasn’t that bad.”

Ryan shakes his head at me, annoyance crossing his face. “He shouldn’t have left you on your own.”

Luke told him. It’s pretty obvious. Luke told him that I freaked in a crowd and that Charlie was nowhere to be found. I did wonder after that night if he would mention it to his friends but when no one ever said anything, I figured he hadn’t bothered and I was grateful, but clearly I was wrong. Apparently Ryan knows all about my panic attack but just hasn’t mentioned it until now. I feel my face get hotter and it’s not just because he’s called me out, but because he’s right. Charlie shouldn’t have left me. I’ve told myself that it’s okay, that he was off having fun and it was his gift from me, but the truth is I was having a panic attack and if Luke hadn’t been there, I don’t know what I would have done.

I shift uncomfortably in my seat. If Ryan thinks he knows me so well, then he should also know that I don’t like being the center of attention, especially in front of his friends, the popular kids at school who pass on gossip like it’s a sport. Ryan goes to open his mouth again and I feel my anger rise. “Leave it,” I say quietly. “It has nothing to do with you.”

Ryan looks at me for another minute and I see Jake lean into him slightly, nudging him with his arm, then he finally glances away. His jaw is tense and I can tell he’s annoyed, but he doesn’t say anything else and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Jake takes over the conversation and cracks some joke and Mason joins in. They all burst out into laughter, breaking the tension at the table, and I listen to their idle chatter and feel my face cool to its normal temperature.

“So, are you guys coming to the big game tomorrow night?” Jake asks suddenly.

“What game?”

This is met by a chorus of moans and eye rolls.

“Jesus, Becca. Do you walk around with your eyes closed? It’s the biggest game of the year. We’re playing Madison,” Jake says.

Sam chuckles next to me and when I look at her blankly, she shrugs. “Everyone has been talking about it,” she explains.

I guess that makes sense. Madison is our local rival, so I guess it’ll be a big game.

“Oh right. It’s not really my scene,” I say.

“Oh come on, Becca, where’s your school spirit?” asks Katie. She starts to laugh before I can. “God, I really do sound like a cheerleader.”

“Come on, it’s Jackson’s big night. He’s gonna break the school’s passing record and there’s gonna be scouts there,” Jake explains. “You should all come,” he continues, looking over at Sam and Erica. Erica nods enthusiastically; apparently she’s lost the ability to speak.

“Yeah and we’re having a party at my house after, which you should all come to. My parents are away,” Mason pipes up.

“Yeah, yeah definitely,” Erica says nodding and practically bouncing in her seat with excitement. I’m pretty sure she’s waited her entire high school career to be personally invited to a team victory party. The memory of her ex is clearly long gone. I’m surprised Mason has invited us, to be honest. Maybe he’s not as bad as I thought he was. Sam is nodding agreeably too.

“You’re gonna go?” I ask Sam.

“Sure, sounds fun,” she responds. I raise my eyebrows in surprise.

Mason and Jake break into an in-depth discussion about how they can’t possibly lose this year, and I can’t help but smile at the way Erica is hanging off their every word like they’re gods or something. I glance over at Ryan, and he’s already looking at me.