Four Dead Queens(21)

“I need to tell him something or I’ll lose my job.”

“I think that ship has sailed.”

His nose twitched. “This isn’t a joke. This is my life. What are we going to do?”

“We?” I stomped my feet; water seeped from my boots. “We do nothing.”

“But you ingested the chips,” he said. “And saw the memories.”

The less I thought about the chips and those images, the better. I didn’t have time to dwell on what I’d seen. I began walking up the shore to the nearest road; I had to keep moving or I’d freeze to death.

The messenger caught up to me with a few quick strides. “You ingested the chips to ensure your boss wouldn’t kill you.”

“Or you,” I reminded him. “Now we’re even. I saved you and then you saved me. A fair trade, I’d say. I assumed you’d prefer to be alive tomorrow than dead today.” I scrubbed my hands over my eyes; salt scratched at my skin. I still couldn’t quite believe Mackiel planned to kill me. I’d always known he was dangerous, but I thought our friendship protected me from the increasing darkness within him. After I’d ingested the chips, there was nothing playful in the way he looked at me. His ravenous expression would haunt me for days. “Mackiel would never make a deal that doesn’t result in a win for him. I had no choice but to ingest them.”

“Where are you going?” the messenger asked.

“Away from here.” Although I wasn’t sure where yet. “Away from Mackiel.”

“You can’t leave me.”

I smirked. “If I had a quartier for every time a boy said that to me—”

He grabbed my arm, then quickly dropped it, realizing he was touching my undergarments. “I need those chips. It’s the only way to save my job.”

“And I need a warm bath and some Ludist candy,” I said, and kept walking.

His brows furrowed slightly. “Don’t you care about anything?”

That was funny, coming from an Eonist. “Yes, I care about staying alive.”

“What memories did the chips contain? What did you see?” He looked at me as though he wanted to pull the thoughts from my mind.

“You don’t want to know.” I really didn’t want to talk about it. Ingesting the chips all at once had muddled the story, but I’d seen enough to know I didn’t want to meet the intended recipient. There’d been enough horror for tonight.

“But Mackiel was your friend.” The messenger hovered beside me, like flies on a warm carcass. “Wasn’t he?”

“Friends? Enemies?” I shrugged. “Who can tell the difference?” Apparently not me.

“What did he mean when he said you can’t go home?”

I stumbled in the sand. The messenger caught my elbow.

“Nothing.” I righted myself and shrugged him off. “I rented one of Mackiel’s lodgings, that’s all.”

“Where will you go now?”

I threw my hands up. “Enough with the questions!”

The messenger stayed quiet for a moment before saying, “Torians trade in deals, correct? Your entire economy is based off what you can get in return.”

That wasn’t exactly how I’d have described Toria. It sounded cynical and selfish. “Why?”

“I want to propose something—”

“You can propose to me all you like. I’ll never say yes.” I flashed him a grin.

“I’m serious.” And he did appear serious, his strong jaw more set than before.

I jerked my chin at him. “Go on. Propose away.”

“You need a place to hide from Mackiel. And I need those memories.”

I groaned. “I told you, they’re gone now. Do try to catch up.”

“I know that,” he said quickly. “But they’re not gone completely.”

I slowed, turning to him. “What do you mean?”

He tapped his temple. “They’re in there, in your mind.” Wasn’t that the unfortunate truth. “Which means if you were to relive them, I could rerecord them onto new chips. I could try to deliver them, again. I could save my job.”

“Relive them?” I didn’t want to do that.

“You close your eyes, think of the time and place of a particular memory and a recorder pulls the images from your mind. It’s how we record memories onto chips in the first place.”

“Will it make me forget what I saw?”

“No.” He sounded sad, as though there was something he wished to forget.

“I don’t want you messing around up here.” I gestured to my head. “It’s my second-best asset, if you know what I mean.” I winked at him.

He ignored me, or perhaps he thought I had a facial twitch. “What choice do you have?” He nodded to my sodden undergarments. “You need clothes and a warm place to stay. I have both.”

I looked him up and down. “I doubt we’re the same size.”

He didn’t laugh. “Do you want to freeze out here and wait for Mackiel to find you, or do you want to stay alive?”

“I can survive on my own.” Although I wasn’t sure that was true. I’d always had Mackiel to lean on. And, before that, my parents.