For Real(55)

I spend another few minutes psyching myself up for the final approach. Then, in a rare moment of reckless bravery, I roll toward Will and drape my arm across his waist. There’s a thin stripe of bare skin between his T-shirt and his shorts, and I thrill at the warmth of it against the inside of my wrist. He shifts a little in his sleep, and I freeze, praying he won’t turn away. But he just sighs, and then he’s still. My arm moves gently up and down as he breathes.

When I’m certain he’s still deeply asleep, I scoot my hips a tiny bit closer, then slide my top leg over so it tangles with his. Now the whole length of our bodies is pressed together, and I think I might faint from the feel of so much contact at once. I rest my cheek against his chest, close my eyes, and try to relax enough to sleep, knowing I’ll regret it tomorrow if I don’t. But I can’t bear to let myself drift off. Every moment I spend unconscious is a moment I’ll be unaware of how close together we are.

I finally sink into sleep as the sun starts to rise, painting the ceiling of Will’s room in shades of watercolor pink, and I dream of kissing the edge of his hairline, the fragile curves of his eyelids, the dimple in his cheek, the tip of his nose. In my dream, he wakes and smiles just as I’m hovering a breath away from that gorgeous mouth. “Don’t stop,” he whispers against my lips.

And I don’t.





I wake up around eight, glowing from my dreams, and tiny fireworks go off in my brain when I discover it wasn’t all my imagination—I really am in bed with Will Divine. We’ve shifted in our sleep, and now Will is curled around me, his stomach pressed to my back, his knees against the undersides of my thighs. I can feel his breath stirring the hairs at the nape of my neck. I never want this to end, but I know I need to get back to my own room before anyone finds us. I’m careful not to wake him as I slowly, gently free myself from his arms and climb off the bed. Before I go, I turn to look at him one last time, marveling at the way the morning sun catches in his long eyelashes. I wish I had my phone with me so I could take a picture.

I start missing him even before the door clicks shut behind me.

Humming and dancing and grinning at myself in the mirror, I pack up my stuff and get ready for the day. I’m so buzzy and happy that I don’t even remember Miranda and Samir have the same start time we do until I spot them in the lobby. My sister has dark circles under her eyes, but she looks determined and stoic, like she’s done crying. “How are you holding up?” I ask, hoping she’ll say she’s sorry about last night. My good mood has made me benevolent, and I’m ready to accept an apology if she offers one.

But she just shrugs. “Tired. I didn’t really sleep.”

I spot Samir across the lobby, looking perky and awake. “Have you talked to him at all?”

“Just for a second. He’s so infuriating—when anyone else is around, he acts all innocent and vulnerable, like he wants me back or wants closure or whatever, but the second no one’s looking, he just smirks at me. The whole point of coming here was to mess with his head, and he’s the one messing with mine.”

Part of me wants to ask What can I do to help you? But according to her, we’re supposed to be fending for ourselves now. I try to make my voice sound supportive but detached. “Well, it’s only one day. You can get through this.”

“I know I can. I just hate being on the same side as him. It sucks that I can’t even do anything bad to him without sabotaging myself.” She sighs deeply, and then a little crease appears between her eyebrows. “You look … rested.”

“Yeah, I slept pretty well. Maybe you can get in a nice long nap on the plane. You should buy some Tylenol PM or something at the airport.” I try to tamp down my glow so she won’t ask any more questions. “Should we go wait outside for the van?”

“I guess.”

Will joins us as we’re standing out front with Janine and Steve, and he winks when he sees me. “How’d you sleep?” he asks, totally innocent. I can’t tell whether he knows I was in his bed most of the night.

I try to match his tone. “Pretty well. You?”

“I slept like a dead person,” he says. “I was trying to watch this movie, but I guess I crashed in the middle. I totally didn’t mean to … it was super entertaining. Next time I’ll try harder not to miss the end.” He looks straight at me, like he’s trying to send me a telepathic message, and I smile to show him I accept his apology. Just knowing he wants there to be a next time sends a little shiver down my spine.

Nobody speaks on the ride to India Gate. I try to tell Miranda good luck as she heads off with Samir to get their first pink envelope, but she barely acknowledges me. Steve and Janine head out ten minutes later, and then it’s finally our turn. Isis introduces us to our new cameraman and sound guy, who immediately sticks his hands up my shirt to attach my mike. It’s weird how even after just a few days, it’s starting to feel routine to have random guys clipping things to my bra. I guess you can get used to anything.

When he’s done, Isis blesses us with her standard “May the forces of love and luck be with you,” and Will rips open our instructions and reads them aloud.

Fly to Athens, Greece, and make your way to Mikro Kavouri Beach, where you’re in for some finger-licking good times.

If I’d gotten these instructions with Troy yesterday, I’m pretty sure that phrasing would’ve turned my stomach. But as long as I’m with Will, I’m up for anything.