For Real(40)

“No, but—”

“Well, that’s what I mean, Clairie. Since you don’t know what it feels like to be in a real relationship, it’ll be easy to get confused here and start forming attachments, even though it’s only a game.”

“Miranda, I know it’s a game, okay? Coming on this show was my idea, not yours. I know how it works.” I really wish we weren’t having this discussion on camera. Ken is practically drooling, and none of this is his business.

“I’m just trying to protect you,” Miranda says.

“I appreciate that. But I can take care of myself.”

“Okay,” she says, but she doesn’t sound convinced.

Ken changes the subject. “Claire, what was your biggest challenge today?”

I sit up a little straighter and try to take back control of the situation. “My biggest challenge today was when we had to swim in our underwear,” I say. “I was really embarrassed at first, but Will was super gentle and supportive, and it wasn’t actually that bad once I got used to the idea. I think the only way to succeed on this race is to acknowledge your hang-ups and try to move past them. There are enough obstacles in our way already. We can’t create more obstacles of our own.” It comes out sounding much better than I expected.

Miranda’s eyes widen. “You swam in your underwear?”

“Well, yeah … I mean, I wasn’t going to swim in my jeans, and they told us there weren’t any bathing suits. Wait, did you get one somehow?”

“No, but I made Aidan hold a towel up between me and my camera guy while I changed into shorts. Seriously, Claire, I’m floored that you had the guts to do that.” She shakes her head in disbelief, and I smile. This part of the interview will balance out what my sister said about my na?veté and inexperience.

“Tell me why you’re so surprised, Miranda,” Ken says.

“Claire has always been super modest. There was this one time I took her shopping for bras and I accidentally opened the fitting room door while she was changing, and she was so embarrassed that she started crying and wouldn’t come out for forty-five minutes.”

I cannot believe she’s telling this story right now. Ten seconds ago, I was the ballsy little sister, and now I’m the girl who had the freak moment of bravery in a lifetime of shame. Even if Miranda is legitimately proud of me, I know the producers will edit this to make me look ridiculous. If they wanted me to be the show’s comic relief, Miranda’s playing right into their hands.

“I was thirteen when that happened!” I say, trying to keep my voice light. “I’ve changed a little since then, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“Yeah, but not only did you strip on TV, you stripped in front of a guy you clearly like,” Miranda says. “For you, that takes guts. Way to go, Claire. Seriously.”

I am going to kill her.

Of course, Ken digs his little claws into that like a kitten with one of those catnip-filled toys. “Is Miranda right, Claire? Are you interested in Will?”

I’m sure my raging blush is enough of an answer, but I try to defuse the situation anyway. “I mean, Will is great, but I barely know him.”

“Do you think he’s interested in you?”

I think of how Will told me I was worth half a million dollars and how he told Isis he hoped we’d get to do more challenges together. I think of how he sneaked a look at my chest in the pool and how he opened up to me on the plane. But those things are personal—if the network didn’t get them on camera, they don’t deserve to know. “I guess you’re going to have to ask him,” I say.

“How do you feel about your new partners for this next round?” Ken asks.

“I was really hoping to get someone else, honestly,” I say. “I don’t think Troy and I are very compatible.”

“Why do you say that?”

“He’s … um …” I try to come up with a nice way to phrase what Troy is, but I can’t. “He’s kind of sleazy. He started coming on to me in the van on the ride here, and he got really snippy when I told him to back off.”

Miranda touches my shoulder. “Do you feel unsafe? We can talk to someone if you do, and maybe you can get special permission to switch partners or something.”

When I was in kindergarten, our neighbor Alan Bracknell used to call me names all the time, and Miranda always chased him off our lawn for me. I was grateful to her back then, but it’s sad that she thinks I need that same kind of protection twelve years later. I shrug her hand off. “No, it’s fine, Miranda. He just grosses me out a little.”

“What do you think of your new partner, Miranda?” Ken asks.

“It was really nice of Steve to give me a lead,” Miranda says. “He seems a little intimidated by me, but once he relaxes, I think we’re going to have fun. I wish I could give him to Claire—he’s a total gentleman. I know how to handle pushy guys like Troy.”

Ken asks a bunch more questions about the specifics of our days, and then he tells Miranda she’s done and asks me to come back in ten minutes to do another interview with Will. As I walk my sister toward her room, I debate whether I should ask her to show a little more respect for me on camera. But when she slips an arm around my shoulders and says, “I’m so glad we got to be together for a few minutes,” I lose my nerve. I have so little time with her on this race, and it seems stupid to waste any of it fighting.