Felix Ever After(54)

“Are you going to stop texting him?” Ezra asks, glancing at me.

I bite my lip. “Probably not.”

He lets out a heavy sigh, rubbing a hand over my curls. “You still like me more than him, right?”

I roll my eyes. “Of course, Ez. You’re my best friend.”

But his smile’s still strained as we leave the boardwalk and head back to the train.





Sixteen


BY THE TIME WE MAKE IT TO EZRA’S APARTMENT, THE SUN IS high—but it doesn’t make any difference, with the dark clouds that roll in, blanketing the air in darkness. The heat simmering over the city breaks, and purple lightning splits through the sky, thunder echoing so loudly that it feels like Ezra’s entire apartment shakes. Lightning illuminates the room every time it strikes.

“I love thunderstorms,” he tells me.

I hate them. I hate how unpredictable they are, how much it feels like fate is being left up to the whim of a few molecules.

“No wonder all the ancient people thought there were gods living up in the clouds,” Ezra says. Another lightning strike, a thunderclap so loud I flinch. He grins at me. “You’re not scared, are you?”

“Shut up.”

“It’s okay if you’re scared,” he says. “I’ll protect you.”

I hug my knees to my chest. “Seems like that’s all you do recently.”

He shrugs, glancing my way. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

Ezra decides a thunderstorm is as good of an excuse as any to skip classes today, and I agree, though a part of me wants to go sprinting through the rain to get to St. Cat’s. I was actually looking forward to working on my portfolio. I want to see what a new self-portrait would look like, after I’ve stood up for myself. Would my skin be as purple as the lightning outside, my eyes as dark as the gray sand and sea?

Ezra snuggles next to me, blanket covering him, and even with the thunder and rain lashing against his windows, he falls asleep almost instantly. My eyes are pretty heavy also, but I pull out my phone, tapping on Declan’s last message to me.

Maybe it’s not something you should think about. Maybe you should just do it, whatever it is you’re too afraid to try. Just do it. Just say yes.

I type. I said yes.

He responds instantly, like he was waiting all night for me to text. And what happened?

I ended up at Coney Island. It was kind of a shitshow.

Fuck. Really? I feel bad now.

Don’t feel bad. It was overdue drama.

Do you regret going?

No. The fight needed to happen.

He doesn’t answer me right away. I glance down at Ezra, asleep against my leg, mouth open, strands of hair covering half of his face. My fingers fly across the keypad—but then I hesitate, delete, rewrite, hit send.

Remember you were telling me about your ex-boyfriend? The one who hates you now?

Yeah.

What happened?

He doesn’t respond right away to that one either, and for a second, I’m worried that I crossed a line I didn’t know had been drawn. Lightning flashes, and a gust of wind rattles the windows. Declan’s response buzzes in my hand.

What usually happens, I guess. My heart was broken. Etc., etc.

My chest aches. Declan’s heart was broken? The way I saw things, Declan was the one who suddenly cut things off and became the asshole we so loved and adored.

How was your heart broken?

You’re pretty curious today.

Sorry. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

It’s okay. It’s just not super fun to delve into the details. Long story short, I could tell this guy was going to break up with me.

I frown, tilting my head at that one. Why would Declan think that? Everything had been great between him and Ez. Ezra had been happy.

I decided to end things first. It’s kind of pathetic, I guess, but I couldn’t deal with getting hurt, so I pushed him away.

Pushed him away?

I was kind of a dick to him. Still am, I guess.

I’m gripping the phone, staring at the screen. It makes sense now—not that I forgive Declan for treating me and Ezra the way he has, but at least I know the reason for it.

He sends another message. I’m not proud of the way I ended things, and looking back on it I’d probably try to do things differently, but it’s too late now. I just wanted to reject him and everything to do with him, before he could reject me.

I shake my head. But why did you think Ezra was going to break up with you?

I realize my mistake approximately three seconds after I hit send. “Shit!”

Ezra rolls away from me in his sleep.

Declan’s message comes in. So you do go to St. Cat’s?

“Fuck. Ah, God fucking damn it.” Why do you think that?

You know Ezra Patel.

“Christ, I’m a fucking idiot.”

Ezra peeks open an eye, groans. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

I rub a hand over my face. “Nothing—sorry, go back to sleep.”

I don’t have to tell him twice. He yanks the blanket up over his head without another word.

I sigh, begin typing. Okay, you’re right. I know Ezra.

So, what, are you just trying to get details of our drama to spread gossip or something?