Felix Ever After(36)

Maybe we can meet up someday. We’re both in New York.

Yeah. Maybe.

Declan doesn’t respond immediately. Things have escalated so quickly. It isn’t too late to stop all of this. Just not reply to any of his messages. Then, finally:

I’m kind of scared you go to my school or something.

I wince. Shit.

Why would you be scared of that?

People kind of hate me at my school.

It’s my turn to pause. What the fuck is Declan talking about? Everyone’s constantly flocking to him. He’s the effing golden boy of St. Cat’s. He’s literally on the front cover of the school’s brochure.

Why do you think that?

Well, not everyone, I guess. I just don’t actually feel like I have friends I can talk to. I’m surrounded by acquaintances.

I raise an eyebrow. That’s surprising to hear. So his dumbass friends James and Marc aren’t even really that close to Declan? I remember Ezra’s words—that we might not be getting the full story.

Another text comes in right away. And, okay. There are at least two people who really fucking hate me.

My heart seizes. I clutch the phone.

Really? Who?

There are these two guys. I used to go out with one of them, and it didn’t end well.

I can’t help myself. What happened? I know what happened, I know what the hell happened—Declan decided he wasn’t interested and brushed us the fuck off—but I want to hear that from Declan himself.

That’s a story for another time.

Disappointing. I hesitate—but then, fuck it, I’m already pretty deep in this anyway. Okay. What about the other guy?

The other guy. God, I can’t figure it out, actually.

What do you mean?

I mean he really can’t stand me, and I have no idea why.

I stare at the screen. I want to laugh. I want to chuck the phone against the wall. I want to scream. What the hell do you mean, you have no idea why? Is Declan really that oblivious? Does he really have no fucking clue that he’s treated me like total and complete shit for the past two years?

I mean, okay, we both want this spot at Brown, and we’re both pretty competitive, but he REALLY hates me for it, and I only hate him a little bit.

Haha, that’s funny. I’m clutching my phone so tightly my hands are starting to shake.

Yeah. I actually feel kind of bad for him.

I sit up so fast Captain hisses and leaps from the sheets. Why?

It’s a long story. Basically, the guy is trans, and someone outed him, I guess?

My heart’s hammering. I can feel my vein throbbing in my neck.

They put up this gallery of photos of him from a few years back before he transitioned, and had his old name up and everything. I didn’t see it, but I heard he had a breakdown.

I wipe my eyes. I don’t even know why I’m crying.

And no one knows who did it?

Nope. It’s wild, right? I feel like the person has to be straight-up evil to do something like that. What’s kind of creepy is that whoever did it is just chilling in any one of the classes I’m in.

I don’t know what to say. I sit there, unmoving. Captain starts to tear at the rug on my floor. A minute passes. Five minutes. Declan texts, asking if I fell asleep. Shit. Fucking shit.

So you’d never do something like that? Not even to someone you hate?

Declan doesn’t respond right away. I think he might’ve fallen asleep himself, but then my phone buzzes.

I’d never do something like that, not even to my worst enemy. That’s like—I don’t know, someone being racist or homophobic or any sort of ignorant shit. That’s unforgivable.

I put my phone down on my nightstand. Another buzz, and another, and another, but I ignore the messages.

It wasn’t Declan.

It wasn’t fucking Declan.

Ezra was right. I knew there was a possibility he was right. I’m not surprised. Even I was starting to question if it was really Declan or not. I’d wanted it to be him—hoped it was him, because it was easier to make sense of it all. Easier to put my anger and hate on a target that I was already angry at, already hated.

Now? It could be anyone. Literally anyone at St. Cat’s could’ve put that gallery up. Could’ve gone out of their way to hurt me.

Who the hell was it?

Another buzz. I sigh and snatch up the phone, ready to tell Declan to shut the fuck up, I’m going to bed—when I see the messages.

Lucky, I hope this isn’t weird . . . but you go to my school, don’t you? You go to St. Catherine’s.

Okay, sorry, that was weird.

But I really think you do. I feel like I know you.

I hope you tell me who you are.

Because this is what’s weirdest of all. Sorry in advance.

But I think I might be falling for you.





Eleven


I HAVE TO GET MY T-SHOT BEFORE I GO TO CLASS THE NEXT morning. I get one every two weeks, have been for the last couple of years. There’re a few different options to get my hormones, but this is the one that works the best for me. My dad offers to go with me to the clinic, just like he always does, and I don’t know . . . I guess that’s another weird thing about all of this. The way he’s supportive as fuck on paper, in all the right ways, but still won’t accept me as his son. I tell him I’m all right and head to the train on my own.