Fearless (Nameless #3)(75)
Zo returned the embrace but ignored the question. “I counted the Ram as they passed us. One hundred and fifty mess units.”
Laden’s arms around her froze.
“That’s three thousand men. A thousand more than I reported inside the Gate.”
A heartbeat. Two. Three. “Who have you told?”
Zo faltered, “Nobody but Raca.” Zo hadn’t seen the wisdom in telling Joshua or Tess. They already had too much to fear.
“You need to evacuate these men,” said Zo. “You’re all going to die unless you run to the Valley of Wolves. Warn the people and leave the region. It’s the only option.”
“There isn’t time, Zo,” Laden whispered. “The Ram are already too far south. They could overtake an evacuation easily.” He stared off into the night, unseeing. “We are the Wolves’ only chance now.” His eyes turned to steel. “And we will not abandon them. Not when we can fight.”
The crush of gravel betrayed an approach. “How is she?” A deep voice. Familiar cadence whirled around her. A hurricane of thoughts and feelings and moments that summed up the man stepping out of the darkness.
Zo knew the moment he saw her. His fur-lined boots skidded against rock and he stood, eye-level, with Laden, blinking as though he didn’t know what to do or say. Finally words did come, just not the ones Zo would have liked.
“What are you doing here?”
Laden touched Zo’s arm and bent down to kiss her cheek. “I will be in my tent. Report in ten minutes to discuss your orders for the morning.” A pause. “Twenty minutes.”
Laden left her with Gryphon standing frozen five feet away.
“You shouldn’t be here.” Gryphon raked his hand through his hair, his eyes trained anywhere but at her. “I … I can’t have you here.”
Zo charged him.
Her fingers threaded beneath the leather weapon belt strung from shoulder to hip and she pulled him to her. His hands found their place around her waist and an explosive sense of rightness washed over her as his mouth met hers. Between kisses she said, “You’re an idiot.” He lifted her off the ground and her long legs locked at the ankles around his waist. He walked them away from the tents and deeper into the forest before setting her down on her own two feet again.
With all her self-control, Zo pulled away from him long enough to speak. She blinked away tears and pressed her head against his chest. “You left me to sacrifice yourself out of honor?” She gently pounded her fist into his chest. “How could you … how could you let me believe you didn’t want me?”
Gryphon swept the hair from her face with his calloused hand, her cheek still pressed to his chest. His laugh came out as an ugly sort of sob that choked the back of his throat. “I didn’t want you close to the fighting.” Kissing the top of her head, he added, “I didn’t know how to tell you I was choosing this instead of us.”
“I thought you didn’t love me. That you couldn’t be happy with me because of my culture.”
Gryphon pulled away and held her by the shoulders. “You are the other half of my soul, Zo.” His solemn, deep voice caused chills to roll in violent waves up her spine. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t give for the right to court you and claim you properly. I would have devoted my life working to deserve your love and companionship. I would die for you, Zo.”
A tear leaked down the corner of her eye, leaving a warm trail on her cheek. “But you won’t live for me.”
Gryphon’s hands fell away from her shoulders and covered his face, roughly wiping away his own tears. “That’s just it, Zo. It isn’t my life to give. It belongs to someone else.”
Zo shook her head. “No it doesn’t.” She pressed a hand directly over his heart. “Can’t you feel it?” She looked up into his painfully handsome face, her body aching for him.
“It belongs to me.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“Enter,” came the rough voice of Commander Laden before Zo stepped into his tent. A single candle flickered on the square table, the only piece of furniture in the room besides his chair. “How are you holding up?” He rubbed the sleep from his eyes with the heels of his palms. Even in candlelight, Zo could tell they were bloodshot and swollen.
“Don’t let him do this,” said Zo. “You have the power to stop him. If you ever loved me or my parents, I beg you,” her voice cracked, “please, force him not to go in the morning.”
Laden frowned. “I’ve made the boy a promise, and on my honor, I will not keep him from meeting Barnabas.”
“You two and your promises!”
Zo tried to take a step forward, but staggered and fell to the grass. A chill swept over her body. She assumed it was from the small blessing she’d pushed into Raca. Blood loss. Taking her infirmities as her own. Headache. Stiff, unresponsive fingers and toes. Dizzy spells.
Or perhaps it was just the knowledge that she couldn’t convince Gryphon to give up his own honor.
Laden came over and helped her gain her feet. “You need to be in bed. This is all too much for you.”
Zo clamped her hand around Laden’s wrist, as much for balance as to get his attention. “You know so much about the Ram. You trained me and prepared me to enter the Gate. Please,” she released his hand and took a deep breath to anchor her voice, “tell me what I should do for him. Some Ram custom that will help me say goodbye.” She clutched her stomach as it rolled.