False Hearts (False Hearts #1)(33)

Each word hurts to say as she looks at me with such hope. I wonder what Vuk was like. He was meant to work for the Ratel, but that didn’t mean he was incapable of kindness. Of love. And now he’s gone; supposedly killed by my sister.

“What was wrong with you, on Thursday?” I venture.

“I…” She hesitates, but she wants so desperately to tell someone that she blurts her secret in a rush. “I’m pregnant.”

I let out my breath in a whoosh. “Oh. Wow. Congratulations,” I say, my voice flat despite my best efforts, feeling sucker-punched.

“I know you never wanted kids, Echo, but I’m so happy about it. I was going to tell him on Friday, but I haven’t been able to find him. I’m so worried. Should I go to the police?”

The police already know where he is, I want to say. “I don’t know, Leylani. Maybe wait a little longer to see if he shows up. Maybe he had to go on an unexpected business trip, and he’ll be back any time now.” The lies come surprisingly easy to me, despite my distaste for them. Maybe Tila and I have that in common, after all.

She nods, wiping her eyes. She gives a last sniff and then goes to the mirror to fix her makeup. I sit there silently, waiting for her to finish. When she’s done, I give her another hug. She clings close to me.

“It’ll be all right,” I say to her.

“You can’t promise that,” she whispers, and I stifle a gasp. It’s exactly what Tila said to me on Thursday night.

“No,” I say with a sigh, thinking of my sister in jail—with me as her only hope. “I can’t promise that at all.”

*

When Leylani and I return to the tables, our work faces are back in place. Leylani smiles brightly, kissing Sarah on the cheek before going up to get more drinks. I settle next to Nazarin again, brushing my elbow against his.

He leans close, pressing his hand against my cheek. “Find out anything interesting?” he murmurs in my ear. I smile demurely at him, nodding. He takes another sip of his drink.

We only stay a few more hours, and it exhausts me. I don’t know how Tila does it, staying switched “on” for so long, vigilant for every client’s needs. I follow the others, offering cigs and drinks. Later on, we dance, Nazarin holding me close, the bass thumping through my metal ribcage, his hands warm on my waist. I speak to Pallua casually, but if she knows anything about what happened on Thursday, she doesn’t let it slip.

I’ve drunk enough SynthGin that by the end of “my” shift, the world is fuzzy around the edges. Sal has told everyone this is Echo’s last shift, and I bid everyone sloppy farewells, saying I’ll send them pings from China and I’ll miss them all. I lean on Nazarin as we take our leave. There are a few raised eyebrows at Echo leaving with a client.

“I hope you’ve enjoyed your time at Zenith,” Pallua says to him as we pass the front counter.

Nazarin reaches into his pocket, grabbing a handful of credits and passing them to her. They disappear into her dress.

“Oh, it’s been a cut above,” he says to her, slurring his words very slightly, before we saunter out into the night.

*

We take the MUNI back to the safe house. The green light of the tunnels makes me feel ill and I bury my head in Nazarin’s shoulder. Whatever his cologne is, it smells nice. He puts his arm around me. Are we still playing a part, or is he genuinely comforting me? I don’t know, and in that moment I don’t care.

Nazarin has us get off before the safe house stop and take another train too far before we circle back. I have no patience for the circuitous route, but it makes me nervous just the same. Does he really anticipate people trying to follow us? As we trudge up the steps to the pastel Victorian house, I’m exhausted.

When we’re inside and Nazarin is making the strongest coffee he can from the replicator, I tell him about Leylani and Vuk. I kick off my heels, leaving them under the table. He’s surprised, and a little sad. I suppose it’s reassuring to see that even a hardened undercover cop can still feel for a girl who’s lost her lover, the father of her child, and doesn’t even know he’s dead yet. I doubt he felt very sorry for Vuk, though.

The coffee does nothing to wake me up; my eyelids are drooping as I sit at the table. I trudge to the Chair and climb in. I don’t even have the energy to clean my teeth or wash the makeup off my face. Nazarin dutifully plugs me in and draws the blanket up over me, and I’m asleep before he leaves the room, to brainload still more information on the Ratel. Instead of dreams it’s endless interrogation scenes, reams of numbers, facts and dates settling deep into the folds of my brain.

Flitting behind all the lessons is my never-ending unease. It’s almost like I can sense Tila hiding in my mind, just out of sight and reach.

Do you really think you can find out what happened? Do you really want to know? she seems to taunt.

And my mind can’t answer her.





NINE

TILA

That tablet we found didn’t last forever, of course. Without charging, something we were unable to do even if we’d known how, the battery only lasted a few months before it died. I felt so sad when the screen went blank for the last time. For a while, I’d had access to a completely different world, and then it was taken away. We were left back in Mana’s Hearth, isolated and alone.