Emerge: The Captive: (Book 3)(86)

“Get up,” Livia barked.

But Quinn didn’t move. He didn’t care. Once he’d given himself permission to succumb to Livia and his addiction, it was easy to fall into the downward spiral that would lead to his doom. It was pretty much all he could think about.

Is Santi right? Can I really come back from this? He’d fought for so long, the idea that it was suddenly okay to give up that fight brought him a huge amount of relief. And a whole new list of worries.

Relinquishing control proved to be difficult. He’d always known what his limits were and he never wavered. Not until the last few days. Little by little, he was letting Livia push him further than ever before. It felt good, not caring. The voice came to him more often now, but it didn’t scare him anymore. Succumbing to the addiction was always inevitable. Having it happen this way—as a choice—brought him some measure of comfort. At least his addiction would accomplish something good in the end. Freedom for Santi, Lennox and James. They are worth the risk of letting this madness overcome me

Madness? The voice mocked him. For two years, Quinn had suppressed that voice; thought he’d conquered everything it represented. And then he came to Soma and realized it was still there, simmering just below the surface, waiting for him to slip.

That’s where we just don’t see eye to eye, Quinn’s gift said. You see addiction and evil. We see our freedom.

“Don’t make me drag you to your feet, Quinn.” Livia flexed her fingers, her knuckles bloody and bruised. “I guarantee you won’t like it.”

Quinn found himself wishing he could just stop feeling. Anything. It hurt too much. That was when he knew he was close. Livia would break him. And it would happen soon.

Please let it happen soon.

With a strong image of Santi in his mind—an image of her safe and happy with his family—Quinn slowly got to his feet. If she was happy, he could deal with whatever his future might hold. If that meant locking himself up in the crypt until he was fit to be around the people he loved, then he would willingly enter their most secure cell and close the door on himself. Not that crazy-Q would do that once he was in control.

Hells no.

Quinn’s arms and legs trembled beneath him, but he stood, staring blankly ahead.

“Do I see a chink in the armor?” Livia mocked his weakness. “Shall I bring in one of the kids? Just to be sure?”

“I don’t care anymore, Liv. Do what you want. We both know I have no choice.”

“You’re not the first to attempt escape, Quinn. No one ever escapes Soma, but the stubborn ones always try. It’s the failure that often pushes them to their breaking point,” she said softly. “To feel so close to freedom only to be pulled back—to be shown just how firmly you belong to someone else—it’s been the final straw for many. You’re so close, Quinn. One final push and you’re mine.”

“Whatever.” Quinn swayed on his feet.

“Bring her in,” Livia called to one of her minions.

Don’t be Lennox. Don’t be Lennox. Anyone but Lennox. He couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t look into those clear blue eyes and watch Livia use his power to drive her toward the brink of insanity and back again. Livia loved Lennox. He was sure of it, but he could never fathom how she could torture Len just to prove a point to him.

Don’t be an idiot. Lennox let her thoughts drift to his mind. She knew how this had to go. He’d pulled her into the dreamworld, where they explained the plan to her.

You’re too soft to hurt anyone on purpose. Least of all me. This is not your battle to win on your own, big guy. Let me do my part.

“Just get on with it.” Quinn’s voice sounded like gravel to his own ears.

~~~

Lennox screamed, clapping her hands over her ears to stop whatever torture Quinn’s gift was giving her, but she couldn’t escape it. Not when Livia was in control.

Yes! Finally, his gift rejoiced. Quinn could feel him stretching after a lifetime of confinement.

“Come on, Quinn, don’t you have any fight left in you?” Livia shoved him with the toe of her boot. “You’re making this too easy.”

But he lay on the floor, staring blankly at the ceiling. He felt numb. Len’s screams no longer felt like a punch in the gut. He just genuinely didn’t care.

Livia had his power raging inside of him now. He was hanging on by his fingertips.

It’s okay, Quinn. Len’s voice was weak and distant. It’s time to let go. You’ve been fighting for so long. Let someone else carry the burden for a while. We’ll bring you back, you big ox.

With a deep breath, Quinn stopped pushing back. For the first time in years he just … let go. Livia’s gift surged through him, shoving him across the metaphorical line he’d set for himself when he was sixteen years old. The sensation was euphoric. Like an addict taking a lethal dose of their favorite drug, Quinn fell down the rabbit hole.

“That’s it, Quinn,” Livia said. “Give in to it.”

And he did. He could feel himself slipping away. The feeling was both terrifying and freeing at the same time. “Santi,” he whispered, relinquishing the last shred of himself to the madness of his gift.

“Now I’m in charge,” he muttered, a smile he didn’t feel spread across his face.

Quinn opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. No, he moaned as his body moved without his permission.