Elusion(69)

“My boyfriend? No!”

My mom sighs. “If you don’t trust me enough to share this with me . . .”

“Oh. My. God!” Are we really having this conversation? “It’s not what you think!” I shout.

Her arm drops and she looks almost hurt. “If you don’t want to tell me about him . . .”

“It’s not from my boyfriend,” I say, exasperated. “There is no boyfriend.”

She twirls the note in her hands, hesitating.

“Read it,” I insist.

She looks at me for a second and then nods, taking her time as she opens the paper, folding out the corners and crinkles. Her eyes cloud with concern as she holds it up for me to see, as if I don’t already know what it says.

HATE OUR NEW LAND

HATE OUR NEW LAND

HATE OUR NEW LAND

“Did you . . . write this?” she asks, horrified, like her suspicion about me being schizophrenic has been confirmed.

“It’s not mine,” I say quickly. “A friend’s sister wrote this before she went into Elusion—and now no one knows where she is.” It’s time to tell the truth—at least part of it. “I think it’s an anagram. Something to do with Elusion.”

“An anagram?”

“It’s like the word puzzles Dad and I used to play.” I pick up my tab and, grasping the stylus hard with my fingers, I rearrange the letters, showing her how I figured it out. “I don’t think this is a coincidence.” I hold up my tab to demonstrate what I’ve done. “‘Hate Our New Land’ spells out ‘Walden’ and ‘Thoreau.’ And Josh found this paper at the warehouse where he last saw his sister.”

“So . . . ,” she says carefully, as she sits back down beside me. She puts the paper on my bedside table as she picks up the copy of Walden. “You think your dad left you this book so you could figure out a message from Josh’s sister?”

When she says it like that, it sounds crazy. “No. I don’t even know if he knew Nora. But I think he left that copy of Walden in his lockbox—and that other one in his office—for a reason,” I say. “It’s a clue. Dad knew I was the only one who could figure this out.”

“And what does it have to do with Elusion?”

“I don’t know.” That’s the one piece of the puzzle that remains out of my grasp.

“I see,” she says, biting her lower lip. She looks away, embarrassed. “And you came up with this all on your own. This Josh didn’t have anything to do with it?”

This Josh?

“Patrick told me what’s going on,” she admits. “He’s worried about you.”

A stinging burst of cold pummels me right in the back. Of course. Patrick is blaming everything on Josh.

When I left Patrick’s apartment, I could’ve sworn I saw love in his eyes. And I knew then that any transgression I made against him would cause double the hurt and anger. I don’t regret stealing the info on the QuTap, but I know too well the power of love and betrayal. The pain over Patrick’s deceit has driven my desire to pursue the truth at whatever the cost. And now, apparently, Patrick’s returning the favor by getting my mom involved.

“So Patrick called you?”

“No. When I couldn’t get ahold of you, I called him. I knew that once those stories about Elusion broke, you would’ve wanted to make sure he was okay,” she explains. “We didn’t talk long. But he did tell me that you’ve done something out of character. That this Josh Heywood is a bad influence on you. Patrick told me all about his sister—that she ran away and he’s blaming it on Elusion.”

The burst of cold gnawing at my back quickly turns into a hot knife digging into my skin.

“I can’t believe he . . .” I stop. “What else did he tell you?”

“He begged me to talk with you. And stop you from seeing Josh,” she adds.

I roll my eyes and let out a chilling laugh. “He’s warning you about me and Josh? That’s hilarious.”

“Listen to me, Regan. Whatever you and Patrick are fighting about, you should just let it drop for now.”

“Oh really? Why?”

“Because Patrick has always been there for you, and he needs you. The company is in real trouble.”

“I can’t do it,” I say.

“Yes, you can,” she says. For a moment, I allow my eyes to meet hers, and all I see is sweetness. But then she says, “Besides, your father wants us to stick by Pat, and defend him the best we can.”

Wants. Present tense.

“You’re wrong,” I say as I pull the copy of Walden out of her hands. “And this is why,” I add, holding the book up as proof. “I’ve read Walden from cover to cover at least a dozen times since I got home from Patrick’s apartment.” Then I grab my tab and start scrolling through the notes I took. “It’s all about self-reliance—going out into the wild and finding our own ways to survive. If anything, the creation of Elusion seems to have led in the opposite direction, to dependency. Patrick has changed Elusion. He’s turned it into something that Dad would never have approved of. People are getting hurt. I can’t sit by and let this happen.”

Her eyes dim. “Patrick was right. You’ve done something, haven’t you? What aren’t you telling me?”