Elite (Empire High, #2)(93)

He breathed in and out slowly, tickling my skin with his breath. “I’ll love you out loud then. I’ll tell you all the things I love about you right now. I love how soft your hair is. And I love that you put me in my place when I’m an idiot. I love that you laugh at my jokes even if they’re not funny.” He laughed like his own comment was funny and then looked serious again. “I love playing football. And barbeques are great because of all the burgers. Wait, I’m supposed to be talking about you.”

He took a deep breath. “I love the way you look at me. I love the way you look when you look at me…like your whole face lights up.” He put his hand on my face, covering my eyes. “Oops.” He removed his hand. “I think I probably look like that when I look at you too. And I love your skin.” He ran the tip of his nose across my cheek. “It’s even softer than your hair. And you always smell like fresh air. Even when it’s hard to breathe in the city. I love that you don’t care about money like everyone else in my life does. I love that you haven’t asked me once what I want to be when I grow up. For the record, I want to take over my dad’s company but he’s going to give it to Mason. Which isn’t really fair because I think I’d be really good at it. But I won’t even get a chance. A few months ago I even did a SWOT analysis for why he should be doing more digital advertising than traditional print advertising. I made a stupid slide show and everything. And he told me he didn’t have time to even see it. Digital advertising is the future and he doesn’t believe in me enough to even hear me out.”

God, Matt. He was rambling, but I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted to know every confession he had. Drunk Matt was honest and talkative. Not angry.

“I love that you don’t care about what other people think of you. Not even me. Especially not me when you’re mad. I kinda even love when you’re mad. Because you stare at me with all this heat in your eyes and it makes me hard. It’s so hard to control myself around you because you’re so beautiful. I love talking to you. And I love that you’re wearing sneakers with your dress. It’s cute but somehow fucking hot too. You look amazing.”

I looked down at my Keds. He was the only one that noticed them all night. He was drunk. I knew that. But he still noticed things about me that no one else did. He saw me. He knew me. And he wasn’t embarrassed of me. He was just worried about his friend. Ex-friend. He’d made a few mistakes, but I certainly had too.

“Does that answer your question?” he asked. “I don’t remember what you asked. Did you even ask a question?” He laughed and put his chin on top of my head again. “Your hair smells so good.”

“You’ve mentioned that.”

He leaned forward, putting more of his weight on me. “I didn’t like it when you kissed James. Can you please not do that again?”

“I promise I won’t do it again.”

“And you won’t sleep with him, right? Because I’ve been waiting really impatiently to be your first. Do you know how often I have to take cold showers because of you?”

I laughed. “No, I don’t.”

“A lot. But I jerk off thinking about you more than that.”

I swallowed hard. Drunk Matt was definitely honest. “A lot, huh?”

“Mhm.” He moved his lips to my ear. “I need to tell you a secret. I don’t think I mentioned this yet, but I’m a little drunk tonight.”

“Oh you’ve mentioned it.”

“Well that’s not the secret. The secret is that it’s okay if you want to take advantage of me. I won’t press charges.”

I laughed. “Maybe a different night. When you’ll remember.”

“Okay. I’ll just dream of you again then. I dream of you a lot too. It’s better than sheep.” He laughed.

Did he mean counting sheep? He wasn’t making any sense.

He leaned forward, putting more of his weight on me.

Oh my God, he’s so heavy. “Matt, I can’t hold you.”

“Just for a second.”

“You’re too heavy.”

He giggled. “Oh no.” He moved back and looked down at his perfect torso. “Is that why you don’t want me? You think I’m fat?”

“What?” I couldn’t help but laugh. “No. You’re perfect.”

“Then why are you torturing me?”

“I’m not trying to.”

“Then why’d you dance with Felix right in front of me?”

That was a good point for a drunk person to make. “I’m sorry.”

“I made one mistake, Brooklyn. I should have told James right away, but I was being stupid. Isabella got under my skin. But that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to be happy. That doesn’t mean you aren’t my forever. You are my forever. I know you are.”

Of course he was allowed to be happy. And of course he was allowed to make mistakes. I’d certainly made a ton of them.

“I want to make a deal.” He stuck out his hand for me. “No more secrets between us. Ask me anything,” he said. “And I’ll answer it.” He grabbed my hand and shook it before I could decide.

“Okay, Matt.”

“You didn’t ask a question.”