Don't Kiss the Messenger (Edgelake High School, #1)(80)
I looked over at her, watching her study the students in the courtyard. She caught me staring.
“What is it?” she asked. I reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear so I could see all of her face.
“I love the scar,” I said. I knew she didn’t need to hear it, but I wanted to say it. It was true.
“Bullshit. And it’s my scar, not the scar,” she said.
I smiled. “It’s our scar. It’s kind of mine, too.” I held up my hands at her exasperated expression. “I know its caveman of me, but I feel like the scar sort of saved you for me. From all the morons who couldn’t see beyond it for years. And yes, I am one of those morons.”
“Past tense. You were one of those morons.”
I leaned my knee against hers.
“I think I still am. Does it make me a moron to be grateful for the scar?” I asked.
“Yes!”
“Not that I’m glad you had to go through it all—the accident and the surgeries. But it saved you for me, so it feels like it’s kind of my mark.”
“That is caveman,” she said.
“I’m a football player. We’re not very evolved,” I joked.
She leaned away a little so she could look me square in the eyes.
“I don’t know how I feel about this. I’m a little offended.”
“Why?” I asked.
“It’s not the scar that brought me to you. It’s me. I made it all happen myself,” she said.
“Yeah, by pretending you were Bryn.”
“Because you wouldn’t have given me a chance as myself.”
I shook my head. “You don’t know that. I think I would have. In fact, I’m pretty sure of it,” I said.
“Not when you were captivated by Bryn DeNeuville.”
I thought about this. “Possibly not. But what if she hadn’t been a factor this year? What if she’d never transferred, and we met in Shakespeare class? What if there had been no pretense for you to hide behind? I think it would have happened anyway. It just wouldn’t have been so… colorful.”
I thought about that first moment on the football field when I set eyes on her, how she instantly stood out. I thought about the first time I saw her in Shakespeare, how I was immediately drawn to her.
“I still would have needed to pursue you. You never would have gone after me,” she said.
“You can’t possibly know that. The way I feel about you was inevitable. The more time I spent with you, if you hadn’t made a move I think I would have.”
She thought about this. “Well it didn’t play out that way, so I guess we’ll never know.”
“You don’t believe me,” I said.
“I didn’t say that. I believe that you believe it.”
“CeCe. I would have seen. Without Bryn confusing me, trust me, you and I would have happened. Probably a lot sooner than now. She was like a smoke screen. Something to throw me off the scent.”
“Ew. You’re getting all caveman again.”
I smiled. “Don’t change the subject.”
She leaned forward. “I believe you.”
I could feel her breath against my skin. It made every molecule in my body stand on edge. I tried to put words to this feeling. It wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t sexy. It sure as hell wasn’t a fantasy. It was even better than that. It was real.
I held her face in my hands, and kissed her there, in the bustling courtyard, for everyone to see.
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About the Author Katie Ray (also known by her previous author name, Katie Kacvinsky) writes teen and new adult fiction novels. Her books have been nominated for YALSA awards, and First Comes Love was a finalist for the Oregon Book Award. Her screenplay, A High Note, was a semifinalist in the Austin Screenplay Competition in 2015. She currently lives in Ashland, Wisconsin with her husband, two children, and a slightly insane dog.