Don't Kiss the Messenger (Edgelake High School, #1)(19)

The girl turned and headed out of the room, but CeCe’s eyes were still on guard. She raised her shoulders like she had adopted an element of pride at being a target. I walked up to CeCe, but before I could say anything, two heavy shoes clamored up to us, attached to a guy who looked like he was ready to initiate a gang fight. His wiry fingers were rolled into fists. He glared at CeCe underneath the shadow of his baseball cap.

“Were you giving my girlfriend a hard time?” he asked.

CeCe lifted her chin with attitude. “That depends. Are you the one with terrible taste in girlfriends?” she asked him. He lifted his arm out and that did it. I knew CeCe didn’t need my help, but a protective instinct came over me. I caught his arm in my hand and stepped between them. CeCe backed off, and I bunched the guy’s shirt in my hand and shoved him, hard, until his back was pinned against the wall.

The guy swallowed. “Brady,” he said, recognizing me. “Sorry… I just…” He looked between me and CeCe. “She pissed off my date.”

“Tell your bitchy little date to show people some respect,” I stated. He swallowed, his eyes wide. “And if you lay a finger on her, ever,” I said and nodded in CeCe’s direction, “I will lay all ten of mine on you. Got it?” A few other football players headed our way. They stood around me like an offensive line, ready to back me up.

The guy nodded shakily, and I gave his shoulder a single shove toward the front door. His girlfriend grabbed his hand and followed behind him.

The room snickered and applauded their exit and someone turned the music back up. Tuba dimmed the overhead lights and people moved to the center of the living room. It was officially dance time.

I leaned down so CeCe could hear me. “Sorry,” I yelled loud enough to be heard over the music. My voice stirred her hair.

She shrugged, but she didn’t look at me. She stared at the door with surprise. I knew she was used to taking the hits. She probably wasn’t used to other people stepping in and taking the hits for her. I noticed her hands shaking at her sides. She crossed them over her chest and tucked them under her arms. She finally looked up at me. The room was so dim I could barely make out her features. It made me stare harder at this strange person who kept resurfacing in my life at the most unexpected times.

“Freshman,” she said. She looked desperate to make light of what happened. Or maybe to forget it happened entirely.

“You were brilliant by the way,” I told her. I wasn’t trying to be her damn hero. CeCe definitely didn’t need one.

She looked up at me and smiled. It made her hard features soften. I smiled back, relieved that she was starting to let her guard down around me. It had to be exhausting to carry around so much armor all the time. Kyle, one of the football players, swaggered up to us and pulled CeCe into the center of the room. I watched as Kyle eased into her personal space, his hands a little too high on her hips.

I stood against the wall, next to Bryn, who was giggling something to VanBree. I tried to reinsert myself into the partying mood. I wrapped my arm around Bryn’s back and felt the warm skin of her waist beneath my fingers. She leaned her hip into mine. I focused my attention on our subtle physical conversation, but my mind was still aimed on someone else.

I noticed CeCe squirm her way out of Kyle’s hands and whisper in his ear. He nodded and turned away, wriggling his arms around the nearest girl in reach. CeCe wove through the crowded room and disappeared out the front door.

I had to fight the urge to go after her.

…

CECE

When I got home, the apartment was empty. We lived at The Church, a hundred-year-old red brick building on campus that had been converted decades ago into student apartments. Tuba and I shared a lease with twin junior volleyball players and Kelsey, a senior who was already running her own start up internet company. She had been traveling so much this semester, we hardly saw her.

Tuba was still at the party, and the twins were gone, probably off running an ultra marathon or being studied by National Geographic for their supernatural athletic ability.

I headed up the stairs to my bedroom. I inherited the smallest room in the apartment, a decision made simply because I was the smallest person. My room was tucked away upstairs and the slanted ceilings on each side were low enough that I nearly grazed my head on them when I walked from one side of the room to the other. A window seat was cut into the ledge of a single wood-rimmed pane that looked out onto a towering pine tree. The scent of its needles blew through my room all summer long, giving it the year round smell of a Christmas tree. An old chimney from the retired fireplace ran along one side, making an entire wall of exposed red brick. Everything inside was small, from the closest, to my bookshelf, to my twin sized bed. There was comfort in the enclosed space.

I thought back to the party, at the room full of people. So pretty. So perfect. All in. I felt a trench divide us.

I closed my eyes and my mind went back to the party. I could still feel Kyle’s hands roaming my waist. I could still see his eyes drinking in my chest. When the lights were dimmed, when reality was shoved aside, my life changed. Guys were suddenly interested. It was as if rules didn’t apply. But I knew this feeling wouldn’t last. In the stinging reality of daytime, under the harsh critique of light, the fairytale always ended.

I wanted to close my eyes and pretend I was beautiful. Sexy. Desired. But the image of that girl snapped back in my head and extinguished my other thoughts like a blanket over a flame. I still felt like a monster.