Deep Blue (Waterfire Saga, #1)(42)

She pulled off her gown and threw it on the floor. Naked and shivering, she grabbed a jar of black sand. She poured some into her hand, then scrubbed herself mercilessly until her skin was pink and her scales gleaming. Next, she took the robe from its hook and wrapped it around herself. Her body was stinging from the harsh scrubbing, but she didn’t care. She welcomed the pain. It kept the images at bay.

“Take a deep breath,” she told herself, swimming into the bedchamber. “It’s going to be okay.”

But it wasn’t.

A few strokes away from the bed, Serafina crumpled. With a cry of grief, she sank to the floor.

A second later, the door opened and Blu swam inside. “Serafina, what’s wrong? I heard a cry. Are you all right? Are you hurt?” he asked, kneeling by her.

“Yes,” she said through her sobs. She’d held herself together for so long, but she couldn’t do it anymore.

“Where? What happened? Show me,” Blu said, sitting her up.

“Here!” she said, pounding her hand against her heart. “Everything I loved is gone, my parents, my home, my city….” Her voice caught. The rest of her words were drowned in a torrent of tears.

Blu lifted her off the floor, pulled her to him, and held her silently. There was nothing he could say, nothing anyone could say, to make it better.

When there were no more tears left inside her, Serafina raised her head. “I’m sorry, Blu. I’m so, so sorry. Here I am crying and carrying on, and you lost your parents too.”

“It’s okay. You’re in shock. You’ve had no time to absorb what’s happened, and now it’s all hitting you,” Blu said. “You need to sleep. It’s the only way to get your strength back. Rest now. I’ll be right outside.”

Serafina clutched his hand. “No! Please don’t go. Talk to me. Tell me something. Anything.”

“If I do, will you get into bed?”

“Yes,” she said.

“You need to let go of my hand.”

“Okay,” Serafina said.

She climbed into the bed. The anemones caressed her weary body. Their touch was soft and lulling. She turned on her side, folding one arm under her head. Blu pulled a chair close to the bed. Having him near calmed her, but she was still desperate for distraction.

“Tell me the scariest thing that ever happened to you, Blu. Or the best thing. Or your favorite food. Do you have a sister?” she asked him.

“No,” Blu said.

“Do you have a merlfriend? Tell me about her.”

Blu hesitated.

“Oh, no. Oh gods, I’m sorry. I put my fin in my mouth, didn’t I? Please tell me she’s not dead.”

“No, she’s not dead. She’s not…well, she’s not my merlfriend anymore.”

“You split up?” Serafina asked.

“Yeah, I guess we did.”

“What happened?”

“Stuff.”

“Stuff?”

Blu looked at the ceiling. “Being in the Praedatori is tough. It demands a lot from you. Family, friends, merlfriends, you can’t tell them about it and they don’t understand the sacrifices you have to make, the double life you lead.”

“Maybe you’ll get her back.”

He shook his head. “Not likely.”

“What’s she like?”

“Smart. Beautiful. Good.” He paused, then said, “And brave. Really brave.”

“Sounds like you’re still in love with her,” Serafina said.

“Um, yeah. Guess I am.”

There was an awkward silence. Then Serafina said, “Tell me why you joined the Praedatori.”

“Why I joined the Praedatori…” Blu said thoughtfully.

“For fun and adventure? To see exotic places?” Serafina joked, desperate to keep him talking.

He looked at her then, with an expression of such intensity and passion, it made her catch her breath. “I joined the Praedatori because I love the sea more than my own life,” he said. “Bad things are happening. Oceans are being destroyed by the goggs. Sea creatures are being hunted to extinction. Mer are attacking mer. The duca says some mer are even aligning with the goggs now. I want to do everything I can to stop it. All of it.”

His eyes held Serafina’s, just as they had outside the cave, when he’d bandaged her tail. And once again, she found herself unable to look away from them, caught by their depths like a swimmer in a riptide. Who are you? she wondered. She forced herself to break his gaze and said quickly, “I owe you an apology.”

“For what?”

“Earlier, when you brought us here, I was certain you’d sold us to a terragogg. Now I see you would never do that. You’re a very upstanding outlaw, Blu. Thank you for rescuing us. We owe you our lives.”

Blu shook his head, embarrassed. “Anyone would have done it,” he said. “How about you? You have anyone?” he asked, obviously wanting to change the subject. “Wait…of course you do. You were about to be betrothed to the crown prince of Matali, weren’t you?”

“Before everything happened, yes,” Serafina said. “Before he disappeared.”

“I’m sure he’s trying to get back to you.”

Serafina smiled sadly. “He might be trying to get back to a nightclub. Or a siren. But not to me.”