Daring the Bad Boy (Endless Summer)(55)

“Aw, Annie, do you really believe that?”

She looked at me, pain etched across her features, her eyes full of sadness. Full of doubt. “Yes. No. I don’t know. I thought I could handle this, but maybe I can’t.”

Her words made me tense up. “You knew this was part of the deal. We aren’t supposed to be together.”

“The summer’s almost over. Who cares if we’re together?”

“My uncle will care.” My dad. I couldn’t disappoint either of them. I didn’t want to. I wanted to have the best of both worlds, but I hated that I was making Annie feel bad. Worse, that she was mad and hurt over all of this.

“Maybe we could talk to him,” she suggested, her tone hopeful. “Maybe we could explain and he’d understand.”

“He’d never understand,” I said with a firm shake of my head.

Her face fell and she sighed. “This isn’t the way I imagined my summer would end up.”

“Ah, come on. Don’t you like sneaking around?” I lowered my voice, leaning in close, trying to get a kiss, but she wasn’t having it. She pressed her hand against my shoulder and gave me a firm shove.

I got the hint. Leaning back, I took a deep breath, giving her distance.

“I did at first,” she admitted. “But now…I just want to be normal. I want to walk around and hold your hand. Let people know that you’re mine and I’m yours. Don’t you want to tell people that, too? Even your uncle?”

Damn, this girl. She was making my heart hurt. “It’s complicated, you know this.” I wanted to say more. So much more, but my voice abandoned me.

You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m falling in love with you.

I couldn’t work up the nerve to say it.

“You could sit with me tonight. It’s movie night,” she suggested.

God, I hated denying her anything. “It’s not that easy.”

“Why not?” The words exploded out of her. “I’ve been really patient, Jake. When you wouldn’t be seen with me during movie night last week, I was fine with it. When you want to be with me only after dark or making out behind buildings, whatever. I was fine with that, too. But it’s getting really old really fast. And you’re starting to make me feel bad. Like I’m not worthy of being seen in public with you.”

“I definitely don’t feel that way about you. You know this,” I said, interrupting her so I could get my point across. “It’s just that…” My voice drifted and I frowned.

“It’s just what?” she urged.

“It’s my uncle. It’s the entire reason why I’m here. My dad sent me here because we told the judge that I would straighten up and fly right at my uncle’s camp. We promised her that I wouldn’t break the rules or break the law. I promised my dad that I would listen to my uncle and I wouldn’t disappoint them. I’m trying to do right here and not look like a complete f*ckup.”

Her face crumpled, and she flinched when I dropped the f-bomb. “So being with me would disappoint them? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Not at all.” I shook my head, my frustration making me snap at her. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m as frustrated as you are about this. But you know it’s against the rules for counselors to fraternize with campers.”

“So?”

“So I’m a junior counselor and you’re a camper.”

“We’re only a year apart. Isn’t that rule in place so I wouldn’t, I don’t know, hook up with Dane?”

I didn’t like hearing her even say that. “I guess so. And I really can’t stand the thought of you hooking up with Dane.”

“That’s not the point,” she stressed, rolling her eyes. I could tell she was frustrated, too. “I don’t want to be your dirty little secret. I like you. You like me. Your uncle seems to like me, too. Why wouldn’t he approve of us being together?”

“Because I broke the one rule he stressed to me over and over. He did not want me messing around with campers. He didn’t even really want me messing around with other counselors.” I glanced down. “And I don’t want to disappoint him.”

She was quiet for a while, and so was I. I finally lifted my head to check out the lake, then glanced over at Annie.

And she didn’t look pleased.

“So we’re just messing around, then. I’m like your—fling with Lacey, just longer this time around. Is that what you’re saying?”

I hated that she even brought up Lacey. That felt like forever ago. “No, Annie. That’s not what I’m saying.” I buried my head in my hands, tugging on my hair so it hurt. “You don’t get it.”

“No, I really don’t get it. And I don’t think you get me, either.” She stood and went over to the ledge, turning around so she could climb down the tower.

I stood as well, watching her leave. “What are you doing?”

“I’m leaving. It hurts, that you don’t want to tell your uncle, or anyone else for that matter, that we’re together. I know there are rules in place and you’re risking everything by spending time with me, but I just—” She hesitated for the moment, her gaze turbulent. “I just wish we could be together. For real.”