Dangerous Creatures(88)

But out in the Grasslands, like at the Mission, we have more freedom. The Icons lose their strength the farther away you go. But the Lords and the Ambassadors are in control, even then, because they have the resources. They have weapons that work. And there’s no power in the Grass, no source of energy. Even so, I have hope. The Padre always tried to reassure me—everything has a limit. Everything has an end. Beyond the borders of the cities and the frequencies of the Icons, life goes on. They can’t turn everything off. They don’t control our whole planet. Not yet.

Nothing in the Grass works that isn’t pulled by a horse or cranked by a person. But at least we know our hearts will be beating in the morning, our lungs pumping air, our bodies shivering from the cold. Which is more than I know about myself tomorrow.

The pile of rags groans from the floor. I was wrong. I’m not alone. A man, lying facedown, is splayed across from me. He smells like a Remnant, which is what the Embassy calls us, another piece of worthless garbage like me. He even smells like he lives with the pigs—drunk pigs.

My heart begins to pound. I sense adrenaline. Heat. Anger. Not just the soldiers. Something more.

Ro’s here.

I close my eyes and feel him. I can’t see him, but I know he’s near. Don’t, I think, though he can’t hear me. Let me go, Ro. Get yourself somewhere safe.

Ro hates Sympas. I know if he comes after me the rage will come after him, and he will probably be killed. Like the Padre. Like my parents, and Ro’s. Like everyone else.

I also know he will come for me.

The man sits up, groaning. He looks like he is going to be sick, leaning against the swaying side of the car. I steady myself, waiting by the window.

The comlink poles go slapping by. The Tracks turn, and the watery curve of the Porthole shoreline comes into view, the Hole beyond it. A few crude skiffs float on the water nearest the shore. Beyond them, rising above the water, is the Hole, the biggest city on the west coast. The only one, since Goldengate was silenced. I don’t look at the Icon, though I know it’s there. It’s always there looming, from the hill above the city, a knife in the otherwise flat skyline. What once was an observatory has been gutted and transformed by the black irregularity that juts out from the structure. It’s also a reminder, this disturbingly nonhuman landmark, sent by our new Lords to pierce the earth and show us all that we are not in control.

That our hearts beat only with their permission.

If I’m not careful, I can feel all of them, the people in the Hole. They well up in me, unannounced. Everyone in the Hole, everyone in the Embassy. Sympas and Remnants and even Ambassador Amare. I fight them off. I try to clear my mind. I will myself not to feel—I’ve felt too much already. I try to press back against the welling. If I let them in, I’m afraid I will lose myself. I’ll lose everything.

Chumash Rancheros Spaniards Californians Americans Grass. I recite the words, over and over, but this time they don’t seem to help.

“Dol!”

It’s Ro. He’s here now, right outside the door. I hear a rattle and see the skull of the Sympa slam into the plexi-door and sink out of sight. There is a dent where he hit. No one else could destroy a Sympa like that, not with only his hands. Ro must already be out of control, to throw him so hard. Which means I don’t have much time. I push myself up to my feet and move across the car to the door. It doesn’t open, but I know Ro is right outside. I can see a glimpse of the narrow hall through the small plexi in the door.

“Ro! Ro, don’t!” Then I hear shouting. Too late.

Please. Go home, Ro.

The shouting grows louder, and the train lurches. I stand up and stumble, almost stepping on the other prisoner, the Remnant. He rolls over and looks up at me, a pile of filth and rags, his face so covered with muck I can’t tell what he is or where he’s from. His skin is the color of bark. “Your Ro is going to get you both killed, you know.” The voice is mocking. He has an accent, but I can’t place it—only that it’s not from the Californias. Maybe not even the Americas.

He moves again, and I see the welt that runs down the length of his face. He’s been beaten, and I can imagine why. I want to kick him myself for mocking Ro, but I don’t. Instead, I feel for the binding beneath my sleeve, wrapping it more tightly around my wrist and my secret.

One gray dot the color of the ocean.

The Padre’s gone. Only Ro knows now.

Unless that’s why the Sympas came.

I can’t worry about it much longer, though, because the man answers himself in a strange falsetto, which I imagine he means to be me. “I know. I’m sorry about that, mate.”





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Sleepwalker


As my bare feet sank into the wet earth, I tried not to think about the dead bodies buried beneath me. I had passed this tiny graveyard a handful of times but never at night, and always outside the boundaries of its peeling iron gates.

I would’ve given anything to be standing outside them now.

In the moonlight, rows of weathered headstones exposed the neat stretch of lawn for what it truly was—the grassy lid of an enormous coffin.

A branch snapped, and I spun around.