Courting Magic (Kat, Incorrigible #4)(22)

He groaned. “That’s not what I—that sounds terrible. Please.” He started to step backward. “Forget I said—”

“No.” I grabbed his arm, stopping him before he could take another step away from me. “Just tell me what you really meant.”

His arm was taut under my hand. For a moment, he didn’t answer. Then he whispered, “Do you really need to ask?”

Well. No matter what he called himself, Alexander had always been a gentleman. But I had never, ever been truly ladylike inside, where it mattered. So the solution was only too obvious.

I reached out through the darkness and found him.

His shoulders were warm and strong against my hands. I could feel him breathing quickly, his chest rising and falling.

I had to stand on tiptoes to reach him, but I pulled his head down toward me.

At the last moment, he stilled, his breath brushing agonizingly close against my lips. “We shouldn’t,” he whispered.

“Of course we should,” I whispered back. I put one hand against his cheek as if I could beam my conviction into him through our skin. “I’ve been waiting for five years, Alexander!”

“Oh, Kat.” He let out a stifled laugh and tipped his forehead against mine. “Only you.”

“Only you,” I said, and moved even closer, to where I fit, wrapping my arms around his neck exactly where they belonged. “Only you, Alexander.”

We had both waited long enough.

***

It was no wonder the gardens were so popular. Kissing was infinitely better than dancing. In fact, it felt just like magic had when I’d first discovered it—delicious and dizzying and ever-so-slightly out of control.

If Alexander hadn’t finally stumbled back, drawing a deep, ragged breath, I might never have remembered to stop.

“Supper,” he gasped.

“Supper?” I stared at him, my hands still pressed against his chest. Every inch of me was busy soaking in his warmth and his reality, far better than any of my fantasies had ever been. “You’re hungry?”

Then I shook myself as his words finally penetrated my kiss-drunk haze. “Oh. Supper!”

We stared at each other through the darkness. “How long do you think it’s been?” I whispered.

“Ah…” He shook his head, lifting one hand away from me to push against his forehead.

I missed his hand. My waist felt cold without it.

And then everything felt cold as it all hit me at once: supper…and the Marquess sitting at the table, waiting for me. Not to mention all of the other guests and, worst of all, my family.

Just how long had we been gone, all in all?

I swallowed hard. At least the Marquess knew—well, he believed, at any rate—that I’d left on business for the Order, so he wouldn’t be startled that I hadn’t returned. But as for my family, particularly Angeline…

“We have to get back,” I said. “Quickly.”

“Of course.” He pushed one hand through his hair. “Forgive me. I should never have—”

“What?” I jerked away from him, my jaw dropping. “Don’t you dare ask me to forgive you for that,” I said. “How could you?”

There was a moment of stunned silence. He took a step back.

I fisted my hands at my sides and cursed the darkness. If he’d been able to see me, maybe my glare could have penetrated his idiotic male mind.

“This was not a mistake,” I said through gritted teeth, “and you know it. So don’t you dare pretend that you regret it now!”

“No?” His voice hardened, too, in response. “And will you still say that ten minutes from now if anyone realizes where we’ve been? When your reputation is ruined because of me?”

“No one will have any idea that we were out here together,” I snapped. “Why would they? I can do a magic-working to make myself invisible on the way back inside, and so can you. My family may well wonder where I’ve been, but—”

“And you won’t tell them the truth about it, will you?” His anger was a tangible force pressing against me. “Because you can’t.”

I crossed my arms and closed my mouth tightly. I wouldn’t answer that. I would not.

“You may not want to admit it,” Alexander said, “but it’s true, isn’t it? Just tell me now, Kat, to my face: if I went to your father and told him I’ve loved you ever since that terrible, amazing night in Devon…” He took a deep breath, his voice shaking. “If I told him I’ve never met anyone like you…that you’re the most remarkable person I’ve ever known, and I would do anything to have you by my side every day for the rest of our lives, as my wife and my partner in every way…tell me, Kat: would he agree to our marriage?”

My vision blurred as hot tears filled my eyes. My body began to shake in long, uncontrollable fits of trembling, as if his words had snapped some cord inside me. Every word he’d said was one I’d dreamed of hearing from him for the last five years, in my secret, unprotected self.

But I’d never, ever dreamed of what would have to happen next. And I could not bring myself to say the words that honesty, practicality, and honor all demanded from me.

I hadn’t thought about practicalities when I’d wrapped myself around him like a vine. I hadn’t thought of anything but him, and how we fit together. We always had, years before our lips had ever touched. From his pride to his magic to his fierce loyalty, and the raw vulnerability hidden underneath…I’d never met anyone who matched me so closely on the inside, where it mattered.