Complete Nothing (True Love #2)(17)

“How’s it going, QB? You gonna take down St. Joe’s this weekend?” one of the guys from the basketball team asked as he and his friends hung near the drink machine on the opposite wall.

“You know it,” I replied, feeling ill.

“Yo, Marrott? Can I get in on this city trip this weekend?” Jeffrey Norris asked, jogging up next to me. “Sounds like it’s gonna be epic.” Jeff was captain of the tennis team and constantly battling Claudia for the number one academic spot in our class. I had no clue what he was talking about, but this happened sometimes. My friends made plans, but everyone thought I was the one in charge.

“Yeah. Sure. I’ll text you the details,” I said.

We slapped hands and I kept moving, my pulse pounding in my temples.

A few girls in JV cheerleading uniforms blatantly checked me out, whispering and giggling before I even made it past them. A couple of teachers smiled at me as I passed them by. On the wall above my locker, Claudia’s huge, glittery GO MARROTT! sign welcomed me. Suddenly I felt nostalgic for this. For now. Even though I hadn’t left it yet.

This was my home. Everyone here knew my name. Some of them even wanted to be me. Or at least be with me. I looked down at the top brochure again, and my vision blurred. When I got to college—if I got to college—I wouldn’t be me anymore. I’d be no one. And I’d be completely alone.

“So? How did it go? Lemme see! Lemme see!”

Claudia barreled into me from behind, wrapping her arms around me and knocking the brochures to the floor. One of the corners of the heavier ones hit me square on the top of my foot and I winced. Sandals. Not a good idea.

“Ow,” I said through my teeth, starting to sweat under my arms and behind my ears.

“Oh God! Sorry!” Claudia stooped to pick up the brochures and quickly neatened them into a stack. Her smile was huge when she looked up at me. “Well? What did you think? Are any of these places the one?”

“I don’t know.” I spun my lock, then yanked on the catch. It didn’t open. Claudia flipped carefully through the brochures, and as her eyes scanned the names of the schools, I wished more than ever that I’d thrown them out. I hadn’t heard of half of them, and I was sure she hadn’t either. But she was so excited. So excited to get rid of me.

“Bowling Green looks nice,” she said finally.

“It’s in Ohio.”

“So? Ohio’s not that far.” She cracked open the brochure and flipped through the pages. “They have football.”

I exhaled loudly and yanked on the catch again. This time it opened, and my locker door slammed back against the wall, loudly. Claudia jumped.

“What’s wrong? Aren’t you psyched? One of these places could be your school!”

She grabbed my wrist and sort of shook my arm. She was so bubbly it made me want to pop.

“God! Can we just drop it?”

Claudia’s face fell and I immediately felt guilty, but my anger squashed it quick. I didn’t want to talk about this. Didn’t she get that? Didn’t she care that going to school meant the end of everything? The end of us?

“Why are you always snapping at me lately?” she asked quietly, but angrily. “I’m so sick of it.”

“Yeah? Well I’m sick of you being on me about this!” I shot back. “All you do is nag, nag, nag.”

Her jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I’m serious! It’s like you can’t wait for this year to be over,” I bit out, staring into my locker. Taped inside the door was a big blue #11 that she’d made for me last season, her first year as my booster. What I wouldn’t give to be back there. To be a junior again. When none of this mattered.

“Well, yeah. I mean . . . it’s college. Who can wait for college? We’re going to be on our own. We get to do whatever we want—”

I looked at her, my eyes flashing. “Yeah. Everything except be together.”

I reached out and slammed my locker, but it was too hard and it ricocheted open again, so I had to slam it twice. It still didn’t close, and Claudia flinched.

“It’s like you just can’t wait to move on and put me in the rearview. Maybe it’s me you’re sick of,” I spat, yanking my backpack straps over my shoulders.

Claudia glanced around. A few random packs of people were watching us and trying to look like they weren’t. I felt like such an *, and such a dork, and such a whipped loser. Yelling at my girlfriend in public about her not liking me enough? Was this how low I’d sunk?

“What?” she said shakily. “Peter. Come on.”

I glared down at her, my chest heaving angrily even as a tiny part of me withered and died. I didn’t hear her denying it. She wasn’t denying it.

“Whatever,” I said. “If you’re so psyched about starting your life without me, maybe we should just start right now.”

What are you doing? a tiny voice in my head screamed. What the hell are you doing?

Claudia’s face paled, then suddenly reddened. “Are you breaking up with me?”

Take it back! Take it back!

But I couldn’t. It was like I’d chucked a Hail Mary as hard as I could into the air and was powerless to stop it. I had to stand back and watch it fall.

And I was so angry. I’d never felt so angry. I just wanted time to stop, but it wouldn’t. It just kept going and going and going. I had no control over anything anymore, and it totally pissed me off.