City Love(68)

“It means that my soul mate could be anywhere. We each have more than one soul mate. This city is all about the energy bringing people together in mysterious ways. There are so many chances to meet a soul mate doing routine things. Going to work or to school, running errands, in coffeehouses, at the gym, at group meetings. Or even just walking around. I would take walks along the river and imagine meeting my soul mate there. He’d pass me and take one look at me and just know we were meant to be together. Or I’d be reading on the grass and he’d come over to talk to me because he loved that there was a girl reading in the park. Something he couldn’t explain would pull him in my direction. He would be compelled to talk to me, like he didn’t have a choice, even though he didn’t know me. That’s what the sign is about. He could literally be right around the corner.”

“Wow.” Austin stares at the sign, contemplating the enormity of it.

The door buzzes. I totally forgot about the pizza.

“I’m getting this.” Austin takes his wallet out of his back pocket and answers the door.

After we eat, we go back to my room. Austin says he wants to see pictures from when I was little.

“You do?” I say. No one has ever wanted to see those pictures before.

“I bet you were adorable.”

“Not really.”

“Of course you were. Look how adorable you are now. That had to come from somewhere, right?”

“But why do you want to see them?”

Austin sits on my bed. I try not to freak out that he is sitting on my bed.

“You fascinate me,” he says. “I want to learn as much about you as I can this weekend.”

I open my closet door, thankful that the closet hasn’t had a chance to get messy yet. I dig around until I find the box with my photo albums. My mom started making these for me when I was a baby. Every year she gave me one on my birthday, filled with photos that documented the events of the past year. I was going to leave them at home, but something told me to bring them. Now I’m happy they’re here. I take the photo albums from when I was two to eight over to the bed.

“Dude,” Austin says. “You have actual photo albums.”

“That’s how I roll. I’m old-school.”

“I love that about you. No one has real photos anymore.” He slides his hand over one of the textured covers.

We lie back against my pillows to look at the pictures. We get to the ones from Christmas morning when I was four. There’s a light in Austin’s eyes as he looks at them. He flips the pages carefully, as if they might break. I love that he’s treating my albums with respect. Boys are usually oblivious to things that should be handled delicately.

The front door opens and closes. It’s probably Rosanna. Darcy loves staying out late. Usually I would go out and say hi. But not tonight. Tonight I’m busy. Tonight I’m in bed with Austin. A ripple of nervous excitement rockets through me, making me giggle.

“What?” Austin asks.

“Nothing. Just . . . I’m happy you’re here.”

“Not as happy as I am.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you make me happier than anyone ever has.” Austin puts the photo album on the bed. He wraps his arms around me so we’re lying on our sides, facing each other. “I mean it, Sadie. You make me happier than I’ve ever been. I didn’t even know it was possible to feel this way.”

Soul mates, I think. That’s the way it feels with a soul mate. Like a whole new world is opening up for you. Like everything you’ve imagined can finally become reality. Even things you didn’t know to imagine. Things you wanted deep down that you didn’t realize you wanted until you found them.

There’s so much I want to say to Austin. I want to tell him everything I’m thinking. I want to describe everything I’m feeling until he understands exactly how much he means to me. But I don’t want to scare him off. You can’t overload a boy with too much too soon. Even a boy who seems to feel the same way about you.

Austin kisses me. I kiss him back. Soon I’m on top of him, kissing him harder than ever.

I hear the sounds of Rosanna going to her room and closing the door. After the movie last night she warned me to take it slow. No offense, but her limited boy experience is showing. When you find someone who makes you feel the way you’ve always wanted to feel, there’s no reason to take it slow. Not that I’m ready to have sex with Austin. But there’s no reason for us to take things slow emotionally. Why would you hold back when you know you’ve found something real?

We’re not having sex this weekend, but there are other things we can do.

I kiss Austin even harder. My hand slides down his chest, his stomach, the front of his jeans. I grab his zipper and start pulling it down.

“Hey,” Austin whispers. He puts his hand over mine, stopping me.

“What?”

“You know I adore you, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I also respect you. And if you unzip my jeans, I can’t promise that I’ll control myself.” He strokes my arm tenderly. “I want our first time to mean something.”

Austin gazes into my eyes with an intensity that permeates down to my soul. I’m having one of those epic feelings. Except this one feels bigger than anything I’ve ever experienced. I’ve never felt so connected to another person.