City Love(6)

This will work out.

It has to work out.

Failure is not an option.

Darcy is yammering away. Asking us questions. Telling us how awesome Santa Monica is. Unpacking the entire contents of her massive bag on the couch. She hasn’t even seen her room yet. That’s the first thing I wanted to see when I got here. Doesn’t Darcy want to see her room? She must know the two best ones are taken. Isn’t she worried her window might be on an air shaft or looking directly into a bedroom next door or something? It’s like she doesn’t even care. All I know is if she leaves those piles of clothes on the couch, I am not cleaning them up. Who unpacks her stuff in the living room? When she just met the two girls she’ll be roommates with all summer?

Not that I would ever ask Darcy any of this. She’s way too intimidating.





FOUR

SADIE


RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER . . .

That’s what the sign over my bed says. I hung it there to remind me that my soul mate could be anywhere. We could run into each other when we least expect it. Or right when we’re hoping our paths will finally cross. I don’t know where I’ll find him. But I will definitely know it when I do. As Brooke would say, I will have the Knowing. We share the motto over my bed. I’ve been repeating it every day for two years, building up to this moment when I have more freedom than ever.

Sometimes I’ll be walking down the street and an epic feeling will come over me. That’s the best way I can describe it. An epic feeling is when all of my wishing and hoping and dreaming about the boy I’m meant to be with comes rushing at me full force. The epic feeling reminds me that he could be anywhere. I really believe he’s here somewhere. Maybe he’s thinking of me, too. Imagining what I’m like. Wondering how he’ll finally meet me. Wanting to hold me in his arms and kiss me the way he’s been dying to for so long.

The weird thing about the epic feeling is that anything can trigger it. Last night I was walking down 5th Avenue between 11th and 12th Streets and I looked up. Brooke is always trying to get me to look up more. I couldn’t believe everything I’d been missing before I made an effort to look up instead of zipping around in my usual busy mode. Not only beautiful architectural details I somehow never saw before. But a different kind of energy with people I passed on the street. Anything is possible in this city. That possibility grows with every new detail I notice, every new interaction I have. So I looked up and saw the moon positioned right between a big tree and a building. A bunch of windows in the building were illuminated by the warm glow of lamps. And just like that, I could feel what it would be like if my soul mate lived in one of those apartments. He’d live there by himself. No parents. No roommates. I would love going over to his place and he would love it when I came over. Because being together would be the best part of our day. Being together would make everything else in our lives even more amazing.

“Sugar?”

I snap out of my daydream. The barista is waiting for my response.

“Oh, sorry. What?”

“Do you want sweetener?”

“Yes, please.”

“Splenda, raw, agave, simple syrup?”

“Just regular sugar would be great. Thanks.” This isn’t my usual coffeehouse. This one mostly caters to high-strung, type A workaholics on some kind of permanent cutthroat deadline. My usual place serves coffee old-school style. They just have one kind of sugar. Actual sugar. But this place is on the way to my internship. What can I say? New Yorkers are suckers for proximity. Walking two blocks out of our way can be a major detour.

As my coffee is being sweetened, I glance toward the door. My soul mate could walk in that door any second. When he sees me, he’ll know we’re meant to be together. It will be magic, just like in Sleepless in Seattle when Tom Hanks sees Meg Ryan for the first time. She’s watching him from across the street. Something makes him turn around to look at her. A light of recognition sparks in his eyes, even though he’s never seen her before. But it doesn’t matter. Their instant connection is obvious even from across the street.

I want to know that magic. I want to feel what it’s like to meet the love of my life. My heart tells me that it will feel the same exact way I’ve been imagining it will.

After I pay for my coffee and leave, I see a college boy heaving his overloaded laundry bag down the sidewalk, reminding me that I have to do laundry when I get back to the apartment. I knew I should have done my laundry before I moved out. I was so anxious to leave as soon as possible I made the stupid decision to cram my dirty clothes into the new wheely hamper that was part of our Target haul. One more second of my mom’s pity glances and whispered worried chats with my dad and I would have lost it.

Today is the first day of internship for incoming freshmen and sophomores. Juniors and seniors started yesterday to prepare ten-minute presentations about their fields of study under the urban planning umbrella. The idea is for those of us starting out to be exposed to different areas of urban planning so we can learn more about our options. I already know urban design is my jam. But hey, I’m always open to new ideas. Maybe someone’s presentation will dazzle me.

My internship is in a beautiful building on Bond Street. As I approach the building, I instantly fall in love with it: polished steel and glass, sleek awning with light strips along the sides, impressive lobby done in Italian marble. The street number is raised metal in a simple, round font. I can’t help smiling as I push my way around the revolving door.