City Love(20)

I shake my head. “First time.”

“You’re going to love it here. New York has the best restaurants, museums, indie film festivals, every kind of live music you can imagine . . . and if you’re a masochist like me, lots of bad karaoke.” He smiles at me again. The lounge gets even hotter.

“What about you?” I say, attempting to divert the attention away from me. I can feel my face heating up. But not because I’m blushing. It’s just so freaking hot in here. “Are you from New York?”

“Born and raised on the Upper West Side. My parents still live in the brownstone where I grew up.”

“Do you still live up there?”

“No, I’m in Tribeca now. My parents bought me a loft last year. Still needs some work, but it’s home.”

“How old are you?” I blurt.

“Twenty-one. You?”

“Eighteen.”

“So we’re both legal,” he jokes. At least I think he’s joking.

Nasty Girl passes by. She makes sure I absorb her stink eye. Then she helps herself to some more punch. What is she going to do this time, pour it over my head?

“Yeah, she really doesn’t like you,” D observes. “Are you sure you don’t know her from somewhere?”

“I’m telling you. I’ve never seen her before.”

“What a weirdo. Watch out for weirdos in this city. New York is amazing, but it’s a weirdo magnet.”

“That’s why I’m here.”

“You seem kind of normal to me.”

“Kind of?”

“Mostly. With a note of mystery.”

He flashes me that smile again. It gets hot in here again.

My heart pounds. I hate that he’s making my heart pound. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that his charming ways are working on me. Not that they’re even working. I’m fully aware that we’re the worst possible match.

“I have to go,” I say.

“Already?”

“I have . . . stuff to do. For camp.”

“Well, it was wonderful talking with you, Rosanna.”

“Same with you.”

“May I have your number? Just in case you’d give me the pleasure of your company in joining me for dinner.”


Dammit, Wall Street Guy. Stop being charming. Don’t you realize we could never be together? You are evil. You represent everything that is wrong with this materialistic society. Greed. Corruption. The breakdown of our financial infrastructure. We aren’t just on different wavelengths. We’re on opposite ends of the electromagnetic spectrum. I know I shouldn’t give him my number. What would be the point?

I give it to him anyway.





TEN

SADIE


THE SUMMER SOLSTICE SHOULD BE a happy day for me. What better way to welcome in the light than on the day with the longest daylight time all year? But for me, the summer solstice is an annual reminder of the one thing I never want to think about.

A large group of people have already gathered in Central Park by the time I arrive at our meeting place. I recognize a lot of the people here. They’re regulars like me. We meet at the same place every year. There’s a hill on the west side of the park near Strawberry Fields called Hernshead. A big weeping willow rests at the bottom of the hill, swooping out over the lake. Whoever decided this would be the best meeting spot for our group definitely understands our pain. Hernshead is a mournful, reflective place.

There’s a table with a banner hanging from it that says CHECK-IN. Dakota is stationed behind the table. She’s an older lady in her sixties who likes wearing long, flowy things with lots of scarves. There’s a folding chair next to her that she won’t use. Dakota is always too busy hugging people and greeting everyone with gusto to sit down.

I’ll never forget how kind she was to me the first year I came. I was nervous. My mom had been telling me about this group for a while before I joined. She thought it would help. When I was thirteen, I felt ready to join. But I was still nervous about the group. Did everyone else already know each other? Would a lot of people be crying? Was I supposed to talk about what happened while we were walking? I really, really didn’t want to talk about it. I hoped no one was going to force me to. Dakota smiled at me warmly. She had kind eyes.

“Welcome to our group,” she had said the first time I came to the walk. “Are you registered to walk with us today?”

I nodded.

“What’s your name, hon?”

“Sadie Hall.”

Dakota checked her clipboard. Her clipboard had rainbow stickers all over the back.

“Here you are.” She made a note on her list. Then she gave me a red rubber bracelet. There was blue printing on the bracelet that said CARRY THEM IN YOUR HEART.

Dakota gave me another warm smile. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet.” Dakota called Vienna over from where she was standing by the edge of the lake, trying to balance on a rock with one sneaker that kept slipping.

Vienna came over and looked at me.

“Vienna, this is Sadie,” Dakota said. “Sadie, this is Vienna.”

“Hey,” Vienna said.

“Hey,” I said.

“Want to walk together?”