Call the Shots (Swim the Fly #3)(91)

The sun is glaring in the sky this morning. So much so that it hurts my eyes. It’s like someone removed a layer of the atmosphere or something.

“Don’t worry, Sean-o.” Coop snorts. “Your dirty little secret’s safe with us.”

“Right, whatever. You guys can get your jollies thinking whatever twisted things you want.” My phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out and read the text from Leyna. “Perfect. Things just keep getting better and better.”

“What’s up?” Matt asks, clicking his bike lock shut.

“Leyna just quit the movie.” I wave my phone at them. “She just texted.”

“Did she send along another shot of her dog’s sphinc?” Coop asks.

“No.” I sigh. “She just said she’s ‘thought it over’ and she’s ‘uncomfortable working with me’ now that she knows I like her.”

Coop raises his eyebrows. “Think how uncomfortable she’d be if she knew what you were doing with that picture of her dog’s butthole.”

I flip Coop the bird, then say, “Well, that’s it. It’s really over now.”

“What’s over?” Helen asks, strolling up with Val.

“Our movie.” I stare off at all the trees and flowers that are blooming. Green, yellow, red, blue. Bright colors everywhere. Mocking me and my miserable life.

“I thought we decided to shoot it on our cell phones,” Valerie says.

“We did,” Matt explains. “But now Leyna’s just dropped out.”

“Which is terribly unfortunate.” Coop reaches into his backpack and pulls out a Three Musketeers bar. “But here’s the silver lining. I no longer have to worry about how I’m going to look on the cover of Entertainment Weekly.” He unwraps the candy bar and takes a big bite. “Oh, you sweet nougaty goodness, how I missed ye.”

“It doesn’t have to be over,” Helen says. “I could do it. Play Nashira, I mean.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” Coop gestures with his candy. “I’m not about to have you spending all that QT with Hunter. No way, no how.”

“I’m not like you, sweetie. I can remain professional while in the presence of someone of the opposite sex who also happens to be very attractive.”

“Aha!” Coop says. “So you admit that you find Hunter attractive?”

Helen looks anything but flustered. “The very fact that you have to ask me that means that you haven’t noticed if I found him attractive. Which means that I can behave myself around hot guys. Unlike you with Chesty McBreastington during the auditions.”

Coop sighs, knowing when he’s been beaten. “Do you need me to blind myself? Is that what it’s going to take for you to get over this?” He wields the Three Musketeers in front of his eyes. “’Cause I’ll do it.”

“Aw, honey.” Helen reaches over and pinches Coop’s cheek. “I’m way over it. I just like to torment you every once in a while.”

“Seriously,” Valerie says. “You didn’t think we were actually bothered by that, did you?”

Matt laughs. “No. Of course not. And we didn’t buy you ice cream because we thought you were bothered by our behavior. We’re just really thoughtful guys.”

Valerie slips her arm around Matt’s waist and snuggles up against him.

“Seriously, though,” Helen says, “I’d be happy to act in the movie. It’d be fun.”

“Thanks,” I say. “But to be honest, I doubt Hunter’s going to want to be in the movie now that Leyna’s bailed. I mean, we’d have to start all over again. And it’s not like we’re paying Hunter for his time. Or that we can even afford to.” I sigh. “Let’s face it: the movie’s dead.”

As is my shot of ever finding a cool girlfriend.

Someone who teases me about my own wandering eyes.

God. Who knew I’d even be jealous of that?





“HEY, SO, WHAT’S THE DEAL?” Nessa’s voice sounds slightly irritated over the phone.

“What’s the deal with what?” I ask.

“Why haven’t you called me?” she says.

“I was grounded for a month. Didn’t Cathy tell you?” I adjust myself on my bed and click through my Facebook page for the first time in weeks.

“Of course she told me.” Nessa laughs. “Are you kidding me? She was counting down the days. It was driving her nuts that you were always in her room.”

“Our room,” I clarify. Whoa, Aaron Altman ate a whole box of Raspberry Zingers without hurling. I’m, like, the last person to “Like” that. Sean Hance, always late to the party.

“Yeah, but you’ve been free for a week. So, what, you hate me now?”

“I don’t hate you, Nessa.” I close the screen on my laptop. “It’s just . . . We’re not doing the movie anymore, so I guess I didn’t —”

“Wait, what? Why not?”

“Oh, God. It’s a long story.”

“And one I deserve to hear, don’t you think? I’ve put a lot of work into this screenplay, and I’ve spent the last five weeks jotting down new scenes. I think I’ve got a pretty good ending written here, if I do say so myself.”