Call the Shots (Swim the Fly #3)(69)

Me and Matt share a look. Because if Coop thinks it’s crazy, then it’s bound to be Green Goblin crazy.

“What if — and I know it’s going to be a pain in the ass, but bear with me — what if we shoot two movies? A real one, with Leyna and Hunter as Nashira and Rogart. And a pretend one with Evelyn and Nick playing all the parts.”

Somehow my hand has worked its way over my nose and mouth and I am sniffing like a madman. “Oh. Oh, my God,” I say into my palm, the wheels spinning into overdrive. “That . . . That could actually work.”

Matt laughs, obviously relieved. “Evelyn did say she wasn’t a fan of any of the other actresses.”

“That’s right.” Coop nods. “She wants to play all the female parts. Let’s let her do that.”

“And Nick can be all the guys,” Matt adds.

“Yes, he can.” Coop’s got an excited gleam in his eyes. “It solves all our problems. We’re shooting on video, so it’s not like it’s going to cost us anything but a little extra time.”

“We’ll have to be sneaky about it,” I say. “We’d have to leave all our cell phones at home whenever we’re filming with Leyna and Hunter, in case Nick is tracking us.” A collective shudder runs through our bodies. “And I’ll have to rewrite the script a bit. Make Rogart and Nashira brother and sister.”

“Only for the Nick and Evelyn version,” Coop corrects.

“No,” I say. “Because I don’t want Hunter making out with Leyna. That’s a deal breaker for me. In fact, I think I should be the love-interest sidekick character. The one with the antidote in his saliva.”

“OK, sure,” Coop agrees. But before I can get too excited, he continues. “But you’ll have to make out with Hunter as well. We can’t have you giving antidote to Nashira and not to Rogart.”

I wince. “All right, fine. Forget it. We won’t have a love interest. They’ll just be brother and sister. We’ll leave it at that.”

Matt’s complexion suddenly goes pale. “You do realize, though: if Nick and Evelyn find out what we’re doing . . .”

We all stare at my cell phone, resting innocuously on the carpet.

“We’re dead meat,” I say.





EVELYN’S AT HER LOCKER, her back to me as I approach. My mouth is bone-dry and I am dizzy with fear. If this were a scene in a movie, there’d be a loud thumping heartbeat on the soundtrack, underscored by creepy tension-building music.

I have two pieces of news I need to impart here. The first is about our dinner date. I have no idea how she’s going to react to the Valentine’s Day plan. Presumably, she should be happy and accept it as an olive branch. But you can’t presume anything where Evelyn is concerned. Maybe she’ll be over the moon, or maybe she knows Nick arranged it all and will come at me like a honey badger after a cobra.

The second thing I need to talk to her about is the movie. And I need to tell her about it without seeming nervous. Otherwise she might suspect that something is up. And I don’t even want to consider what might happen after that.

“Hey, there,” I croak. I clear my throat. “How’s it going?”

Evelyn slowly turns around but says nothing.

“I wanted to —” I start, then shake my head. “I’m sorry. About Saturday. I know you probably don’t want to hear my excuses but . . . it was just a series of unfortunate things. One right after the other.”

“Go on,” Evelyn says coldly.

I tell her everything. Well, everything except why Coop and I were running along the perimeter of the mall in the first place. But I tell her all about the birds, the crap, my clothes, my cell phone, even my sister’s friend coming to my rescue with a Wal-Mart uniform. Though I do lie a tiny bit there and turn Nessa into a dude named Omar. Anyway, it all sounds totally true because it is all true, and with Nick corroborating the cell-phone part, I’ve even got Evelyn laughing by the time I’m all through.

Thank Gandalf.

And so, when I get around to asking her if she’ll come to dinner with me at Le Chat Noir on Valentine’s Day, Evelyn is beaming.

“Really?” she squeals. “That’s so romantic, pooky.” She leaps at me and grabs me in a lung-crushing hug. “I can’t believe I ever doubted you.”

“There’s one more thing,” I choke out.

Evelyn releases me and smiles. “More surprises. This is the best day ever!”

“Yeah, well . . .” I cough as my lungs slowly reinflate. “I wanted to let you know . . . Well, we wanted to let you know . . . Coop, Matt, and me . . . that . . .” Oh, God, can’t breathe. Going to pass out. Did Evelyn just collapse one of my lungs or am I having a panic attack?

“What is it, cuddle bear?”

“It’s, um . . .” I swallow. “The movie. You and Nick. We just . . .” Deep breath. It’s okay. I’m okay. “We want to film it. With . . . just the two of you. Playing all the parts.” Oh, God, I said it. I can’t believe I just said it. It sounds so fishy. Better add something else. “Well, and, you know, Uncle Doug and the humanzees, of course.”

“Of course.” Evelyn’s nodding. Her eyes narrowed. Is she mad? Suspicious? “I knew it,” she says. Oh, shit. But then she smiles. “It’s just like I said. None of those people were any good, right?”