Burn Before Reading(53)

He wobbled a little, and I flung my arm out and pulled him back. We both toppled backwards into the dirt, a tangled mess of legs and arms. Burn’s sleepy eyes were, for once, wide with surprise.

“You can’t j-just do something like that!” I panted.

“I was fine,” He insisted.

“It’s a long way down! Putting yourself on the edge like that – that’s so stupid and selfish!”

“Selfish?” He frowned.

“What if you fell, huh? You might think you’re fine, but what if the ground gave away? What if a strong breeze blew and caught you off guard?”

“It wouldn’t have. You’re just imagining that.”

“But what if it did?” I snapped. “You would’ve fallen and died and then what, huh? What would I have told Wolf, or Fitz? Who would I run with in the mornings then? Who would give me sage advice? Who would –“

“I just like looking down from high places. It makes my body feel like it’s buzzing.”

“That’s adrenaline, dumbass! That’s adrenaline from your body getting close to dying! You can’t just – you can’t just stand on the edge like that when there are people who care about you!”

“People who care,” He said slowly, looking up at me. “Like you?”

“Yes, me. But also a lot of people!”

Burn wiped the dirt off his palms, and offered me a hand up.

“Sometimes,” He said. “It feels like only you.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. We walked back down the trail wordlessly, and I watched him get in his convertible and drive off, faster than ever.

Running plus not sleeping well exhausted me, so when I walked into school, it took me until lunchtime to notice the change in the air. People weren’t just looking my way anymore out of anger, or spite. Some of them seemed genuinely interested in me –what I was doing, what I looked like today. They studied me, not just out of disgusted curiosity anymore. I tried to ignore them. I didn’t know what was going on, but I was willing to bet it had something to do with the fact I kept hearing rumors about Wolf and Fitz’s fight. I looked up from the book I was reading and realized someone was standing in front of my cafeteria table.

"Hey," A girl smiled. I recognized her from the party - she was the one who'd hung on Fitz's shoulder while he was making pancakes. "Can I sit here?"

I swallowed my sandwich. I must've took her table on accident - god, I hated myself on two hours of sleep.

"Did I take your seat, or something?" I asked. "Sorry, I'll move."

"Oh no, it's totally fine, you didn't take anything." The girl waved it off. "I just wanted to sit with you."

I frowned. That didn't sound right.

"Are you...sure?" I looked behind her. She usually sat with her friends, and they were miles away, trading carrot sticks for chicken nuggets and laughing. "They look way more interesting than, well, this." I held up my textbook so she could read the cover; 'The Intricacies of the Human Intelligence".

The girl just laughed, her mane of brown hair shaking with the sound.

"No, they aren't, trust me. Plus you seemed cool at the party, so. I just wanted to hang out."

"Oookay." I put my book down and awkwardly ate my sandwich for a few seconds. Was I supposed to say something here? Think, Bee, how did people make friends again? I looked at her tray - salad and a burger. "Do you...like food?"

She did that ironic frown-smile and shook her head. "No, I hate delicious, super important sustenance."

I winced. "I'm really bad at this, aren't I?"

"Just a bit."

I looked over at her friends, who were watching over their shoulders. They saw me and turned away quickly, another laugh bursting out of them. The judgey part of me insisted they were making fun of me - the trying-very-hard-to-be-not-judgey part insisted they were just as bewildered as I at this recent development of people actually wanting to hang around me.

"I'm Keri, by the way," the girl offered.

"Bee," I said. She frowned.

"Your parents named you just one letter?"

"Right, no, it's short for Beatrix."

"Oh, that’s a cool name."

"Just because of the x. Most people think it's old-fashioned. Like, you know, Beatrix Potter."

"Who?"

I spotted Amanda across the cafeteria and sighed. "Just...an author lady. Wrote Peter Rabbit."



"I used to love those when I was a kid!" Keri clapped her hands. "I had all the hardcover ones, with those beautiful watercolor drawings? Aw, man, I wonder where Mom put them. I gotta ask her when I get home."

I felt a smile tug at my lips. "It's nice to go through your old things, sometimes."

"Yeah. What were you into?"

"Boybands."

"No way! Which ones?"

"Neverwinter Knights, Ten Years of Autumn -"

"I loved TYA!" She banged the table. "Don't tell me - you were a Gabriel fan."

"Ho-lee-shit. What gave it away?”

"He was the only cute one in the bunch, duh."

"Hey, Paxton wasn't that bad looking!"