Burn Before Reading(33)

But there was no choice. I had to. What I wanted didn’t matter – I had to make sure Dad ate. He wouldn’t do it if it was just him, alone at the house. I walked back over to Fitz.

“Thanks for the session, teach. But I’ve gotta go.”

“So soon?” He lamented. “We were just about to get to the juicy bits – beheadings.”

“Sorry,” I packed my things up. “But I really do have to go. Let’s – let’s do this again. I had fun.”

“Surprisingly, I did too.” He tilted his head. “Weird. I thought I stopped that nonsense when I was twelve.”

“Right when you hit puberty, huh?” I joked.

“Oh you know it. I got zitty, hormonal – I transformed into a gross teenage boy who has no fun ever.”

I laughed, and started to walk away.

“Hey! Scholarshipper!” He called. I turned.

“I have a name.”

“Right. Bee,” He corrected. “Kristin told me you’re going to Riley’s party. That true?”

“Yup.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“No shouting in the library!” The librarian hissed up at him. Fitz pressed his hands together as if begging for an apology, and I shook my head and left.





Chapter 9


If I knew what I knew now about what was going to happen at Riley's party that night, I never would've gone. Just thinking about it while I'm writing makes me want to build a time machine, travel back, and lock myself in a closet for the night. Just that one night. It changed everything, and lately I can't help but think it was for the worst.

But I'm getting off-topic, pen-and-paper. You can't understand what I haven't told you. So let's start over.

An hour before the party, I made sure Dad had something to eat. I ate a bit, but my stomach was too nervous to keep a lot down, so I distracted myself by rifling through my closet. Again, all I really had was that one sundress, but it was way too fancy for a house party. Right? Right. Crap, who was I kidding - I'd never been to a party in my life. There was obviously going to be booze, and probably definitely rich-kid drugs, and a host of other debaucheries.

I held up a Wonder Woman t-shirt to my chest in the mirror and breathed out.

"You're only going to see what the Blackthorn brothers are doing," I told myself. "Everything else doesn't matter. No drinking, no dancing, no nothing. We keep an eye on them, and we pretend to drink. No pressure."

I looked at the clock as its dreaded hands inched nearer to nine. My voice got higher.

"No pressure. Oh god, no pressure at all."

The knock on my door scared me. I crammed most of the clothes I’d brought out into the closet quickly and cleared my throat.

“Come in.”

Mom peeked around the door, all smiles. Someone was behind her, too.

“Hi, sweetie!”

“Oh, hey! You’re home early.”

“I just wanted to stop by the house and get a change of clothes,” She said as she walked in. “Candace here has offered to take me to a spa! Isn’t that nice?”

I nodded at the lady behind her, a brunette lady about Mom’s age with the same nurse-worked-overtime dark circles and weary air about her.

“Candace, meet Beatrix,” Mom extended her hand at me. “Beatrix, Candace.”

I was used to meeting her friends, so I smiled. “Hi.”

“Hello,” Candace grinned. “It’s good to meet you in person. You’re all your mom talks about, you know.”

“Oh, stop.” Mom laughed. “Sometimes I talk about the weather, too! She’s going to Lakecrest, Candace.”

“Yes, yes,” Candace giggled. “I’ve heard it all before. But still, it’s very impressive. You must be so smart, Beatrix. I wish my son was like you – I can barely get him off the couch to do something other than play videogames, let alone get him to study.”

“Tell her where you’re planning to go for college, Bee,” Mom pressed eagerly. It felt a little weird, being made to tell all my plans to this random lady, but I smiled.

“Uh, NYU.”

“Oh wow,” Candace marveled. “Well, I’m sure you’ll get in, if you’re graduating from Lakecrest. Everyone gets in if they go to Lakecrest.”

Mom looked down at her phone. “Crap, we’re going to be late. Okay, sweetie, Candace and I are off. Did your Dad have something to eat?”

I nodded. “I made him a sandwich.”

She swooped over and kissed the top of my head. “Thank you. I’ll see you later. Love you.”

“It was nice meeting you, Bee,” Candace nodded. “Good luck at Lakecrest.”

“Thanks. I love you too, Mom,” I tried, as she closed my door behind her. Their voices faded down the hall, and I exhaled. That whole thing made me feel like a show-horse, or something. It was super awkward. But the night was young, and awkward was apparently the theme of this month of my life.

I decided on jeans and the Wonder Woman t-shirt, and pulled an old green military surplus jacket of Dad's on over it. I dabbed my eyes with my usual eyeliner, and stepped back to take myself in. I definitely just looked like I was going to school. My old public school, not the private one that required a uniform, obviously. But that was fine - if I was just there to keep tabs on the brothers, I didn't want to stand out.