Bring Me Back (B.A. Paris)(56)

Like Ellen, she has disappeared.





FIFTY-ONE

Layla

Ellen wouldn’t listen. She was stronger than I expected her to be. I thought the knowledge that she had lost Finn, that he had chosen me over her, would weaken her and she would go quietly. But it seemed to give her new resolve; as I had already seen, she was tenacious when it came to Finn. She wasn’t going to let me walk back into his life that easily. If she couldn’t have him, she was determined that I wouldn’t either. I tried to explain to her that Finn had made his choice, that it was me he wanted, that he had never stopped loving me. But no matter how hard I tried to persuade her, she refused to leave. Go! I screamed. Go! But she wouldn’t.

I could feel my mind splintering, fragmenting, sapping the little strength I had left. Ellen wouldn’t stop shouting at me, telling me I had to leave, that I should disappear back to my hiding place, back to the place where I had sought refuge all those years before. But the thought of going back to being a nothing person terrified me. If I could just hang on until Finn came back, it would be alright. He would save me and banish Ellen forever.

If only he had done what I’d asked, if only he had got rid of Ellen. I sent him a message telling him as much. But Ellen saw and was angry. Again, she tried to make me leave and when I refused, we began to struggle. All I could think of was Finn, about how he would come back to find he had lost everything. Part of me felt he deserved to. He should have brought me back while he had the chance. But the other part of me knew that my expectations had been too high. He didn’t know my story. I should have told him the truth right from the beginning.

Now it’s too late. Finn can spend hours, days, months, looking for me but he’ll never find me. Not unless I give him some sort of clue, not unless I start him off on the right track. I have a Russian doll in my pocket and as Ellen begins to overpower me, I put it where Finn will find it. Ultimately, it will lead him to the truth about the Russian dolls. And if he discovers the truth about the Russian dolls, he’ll know the truth about me.

And maybe, just maybe, he’ll know where to find me.





PART THREE





FIFTY-TWO

Finn

It hits me hard, Peggy being gone too. Again, I try Ellen’s mobile, and again it goes through to her voicemail. Who else can I call? Tony, I should call him. I’ll tell him everything, come clean about the emails from Layla, tell him Ellen has disappeared. The word thuds into my head. Disappeared. Ellen has disappeared, just as Layla had. I sit down heavily on a chair. One woman in my life having vanished is suspect enough; for it to have happened to another would be damning. There are still those who believed that I killed Layla and disposed of her body somewhere. I have no proof that she’s back. All I have are Russian dolls that could have been left by anybody, emails that could have been written by anybody. Nobody has actually seen Layla, not even me.

Fear numbs me. I can’t phone Tony, not until I’ve thought everything through. In the end, I decide to phone Harry, not Tony. I know Tony believed from the start that I didn’t have anything to do with Layla’s disappearance but even he might begin to have doubts when I tell him that Ellen has gone missing too. She might not be missing, she might have left with Layla of her own accord. But if that were the case, surely she would answer her phone? I know Ellen; she wouldn’t be so cruel as to not answer my messages if she heard them.

Harry will know what to do. He knows as much as Tony does and once he knows the whole story, he’ll be able to advise me. I check the time; it’s just gone seven. He’s usually up at this time. I dial his number. Unbelievably, I get the international ringtone. Harry has gone abroad and hasn’t told me? I wait impatiently but he doesn’t pick up, so I leave a message asking him to phone me, trying not to sound as panicked as I feel. I pace the kitchen, waiting, waiting, and when he hasn’t called within twenty minutes, I call him again. But when he still doesn’t get back to me I begin to get a really bad feeling because I’ve never known Harry to be inaccessible before, even when he’s abroad. If ever he can’t talk, because he’s in a meeting, or in bed with a woman, he always triggers a standard ‘I’m currently unavailable’ text. I try a third time, and a fourth. It’s eight in the morning now and it suddenly occurs to me that it probably isn’t eight in the morning wherever he is in the world. So I try his office number, to find out where he is, how long he’s gone for, but nobody answers, because it’s too early.

And where is Peggy? I’m hoping she’s with Ellen, because Peggy won’t let her come to any harm. But what if she’s run off, what if something happened here last night that made her afraid? I want to go and look for her instead of just sitting here, waiting, but I need to stay here to speak to Tony. But I want to go through everything with Harry first.

At eight thirty I phone Harry’s office again. I’d begun to feel as if I was the only person left in the world so I’m relieved when one of his assistants answers.

‘I’m afraid he’s away,’ Alice says, confirming what I already know.

‘Away where?’ I ask.

‘I don’t know, he said he was going abroad for a few days.’

‘Well, does anyone know where he is? I wouldn’t normally insist but I need to speak to him urgently.’