Boys Like You(63)

There were so many words between us. Simple words.

Hard words.

It’s the in-between words that are easy to get out. I guess, somehow, they don’t really matter. They fill in the spaces between the simple ones that carry so much weight and the hard ones that hold everything together.

But the ones that do matter, those ones are the hardest to get out. They get stuck, or buried, and sometimes they get forgotten. But I knew they were there inside my mom, because the same ones were buried deep in me.

Mom shuddered and I whispered, “I know.”

She paused. “You look beautiful.”

I smiled at my dad and kissed Gram on the cheek. She grabbed my hands, her eyes suddenly serious as she bent forward. “Be 260

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careful,” she whispered, so low only I could hear, her eyes full of meaning.

God. It’s as if she knew what I was planning.

I nodded, my throat tight, and then followed Nate out into the hot Louisiana night.

The party was huge. It was held in the bush out back at some guy Chad’s farm, and there must have been at least two hundred kids there when we arrived.

That was over two hours ago, and I’d bet there was close to three hundred by now.

A bonfire burned brightly, tunes blared from large speakers set on top of a mud-splattered redneck truck, and everyone seemed to be either high on life or high on weed, but sometimes it was hard to figure out the difference.

“Hey,” Nate slid his arms around me and I leaned back against him, watching Brent chat up yet another girl.

“Is he, like, the biggest ho around?”

Nate laughed, his breath warm against my neck. “He’s leaning that way.”

Warm tingles spread down my body and that restless feeling was back. “Can we get out of here?” I asked softly, turning so that I could see him.

Nate’s eyes were intense as he gazed down at me, and in that moment, if felt like we were the only ones around for miles. The music, the noise, and the kids— they all disappeared into the dark. There was just us.

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“It’s our last night and I just…I want to be alone with you.”

Nate pulled me close and rested his chin on top of my head.

His heart beat fast beneath my fingers, and I knew he was in the same place I was. It wasn’t a place of in-between. It was hot and edgy.

I squeezed my eyes shut and burrowed deeper into his embrace. God, I wanted to crawl inside him. I’d never felt like this before, but then again, I’d never loved. Not like this.

“My parents,” he said haltingly. “They’re gone overnight. A friend’s houseboat on the river.”

My eyes flew open and I whispered, “So there’s no one at your house?”

A pause.

“No.”

I yanked my head back. “Let’s go,” I whispered, my hand falling to his.

He smiled then, a soft sort of thing that would make anyone fall harder. “I can’t drive.”

“But I can.” I tugged him again, and this time he laughed out loud. Which, I gotta say, kind of pissed me off.

“You didn’t drive to the party.”

“I know.” I let his hand drop. “Hold on.”

“Where are you going?”

“You’ll see.”


My insides were on fire. No. No, they weren’t. They were cold and shivery, and I kind of felt sick and excited all at once. I 262

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spotted Brent on the other side of the bonfire, his hand in some girl’s hair, his mouth on hers.

I walked around a large group of kids and was nearly to him when Rachel stepped in front of me. I’d seen her earlier; it was hard not to— she was dressed in the skimpiest pair of shorts I’d ever seen and a bikini top that barely covered her impres-sive boobs. There were hickeys on her neck, her makeup was smudged, and she smelled like cigarettes.

She was a mess. I wasn’t sure if she was drunk or high or both, but something was going on.

I wanted to hate her, but there was something almost desperate in her eyes, and the way she stared at Nathan told me a lot. She still loved him. She still wanted him.

“Can I talk to you?” she asked, unsteady on her feet as she jerked her head to the left.

I was surprised. Other than shoving a mental knife in my back that night at the Coffee House, we’d not said one word to each other.

“I…”

Shit. Brent was making his move and melting into the shadows. I needed to get his keys before— “Please?”

I glanced back toward Nathan, but he was talking up some huge guy with massive shoulders. Football was written all over him.

Rachel took a sip of the beer in her hand and then tossed 263

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it, but her eyes never left me. What did she want? Did I want to know?

“Sure,” I said and followed Rachel past the line of trees on this side of the clearing. She stopped a few feet in, her back to me, and it took a few seconds for me to realize that she was crying. Her shoulders shook and a sob echoed into the night.