Bookishly Ever After (Ever After #1)(44)
Grace swirled a chocolate spoon in her nonfat soy latte. “The concert was nice. Your solo was really high-pitched and squeaky.”
When I twisted the gingerbread man free, his head had absorbed some of the whipped cream, becoming soggy and decapitating him. That plus her comment made me crack a smile. “You make it sound like I was playing a mouse, but thanks.”
“Dev’s an idiot if he picked that girl over you. And a jerk for leading you on.” Leia said bluntly, bypassing all the pleasantaries. “I don’t really know them, but, at least from an outsider’s opinion, you’re better than both of them.”
“Thanks, but Dev didn’t really lead me on. Not really.” Leia made a dismissive sound and the need to defend him surged up in me. “Em’s matchmaking radar was probably off. You know how she’s always harping on me to date. Dev would never go for someone like me.”
“Excuse me?” Leia put down her mug with a clang and leaned forward. Grace, meanwhile, sat back and watched us like we were a tennis game, or like she was an anthropologist in the wild. “Someone like you?”
“Come on. I’m a geek. I’m on first-name basis with every librarian in the county, but I don’t even know who sings the song that’s playing right now.” I pointed to the speaker above my head, blasting some pop-rock-whatever song. “Dev is so much hotter than me—”
Grace almost choked on her coffee. “If you say so.” She muttered something about shoes and hair and marching band that I didn’t catch before shaking her head and waving. “Go on.”
I took a sip of my latte before continuing. It was hard to be miserable while drinking something that could potentially give me a whipped cream moustache or nose. “And Lexie is gorgeous, put-together, smart, nothing like me. Of course he’d like her.”
“I think you’re wrong. And blind.” Leia said, sitting back again. “There’s nothing wrong with being who you are, which is pretty kick-ass, too. But, you probably aren’t going to listen to either of us because I’m sure it’s easier to feel dramatically depressed right now.”
I didn’t bother arguing with her. “You know what sucks the most about all of this?” I waved my headless gingerbread man in the air to make a point. “I could have left things alone and been okay, but no, instead I texted him and tried to flirt with him and wore makeup and dressed like Marissa and I made him socks. Who does that? No wonder he’d rather date Lexie.” My voice wobbled on the last sentence and I took a deep breath, blinking back tears that were threatening to come out. “It sucks. It majorly sucks. And I made such an idiot of myself trying to impress him.”
Leia pat my back lightly. “You kind of did look stupid the last time I saw the two of you flirting over there.” She gestured with her chin towards the new releases. “But he looked stupid too, if I’m remembering right.”
I let off a shaky laugh. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“It should. Being mutually stupid cuts any feeling that you made an idiot of yourself in half. Besides, when you graduate in about a year and a half, you’ll probably never see him again, anyway, so why should you care what he thinks?” Leia said, handing me a tissue. Her voice had somehow morphed to gentle and comforting instead of grating. “Perspective. Don’t ever regret trying.”
My fingers went to work twisting and picking at the edge of the tissue rather than wiping my nose and eyes with it. “The scariest part about trying is what I could lose from it all.”
“Your pride?” Grace asked.
I hadn’t thought of that. “Okay, my pride, too.” Instead of looking at them, I focused on the tissue. “Before all of this, my life was perfect. I had my book boyfriends and it was enough for me to read and dream about these guys because they weren’t real. I’m so scared I can’t go back to that. I’m afraid that maybe reality ruined me for fiction. And that means I really did lose everything.” My chest constricted, forcing me to choke out the last sentence. The thought of losing Aedan or Cyril or any of my other book crushes physically hurt.
Leia scooted her chair next to mine and gave me a onearmed hug. “No, you didn’t. I doubt you’ll get over books that fast. Besides, I know you won’t believe me now, but the real world can be awesome, too. Until then, you know you have us, right?” She gave my arm another squeeze and stood. “I’m going to get more napkins.”
When Leia was far enough from the table, I turned to Grace, who still watched me with that psychologist expression. And then I said something I never thought I’d say about Leia. “Your girlfriend is pretty awesome.”
She went from serious to grinning in a nanosecond. “I know.”
I used my headless gingerbread man like a spoon, flattening some of the whipped cream in my mug. “Is it weird to say I’m jealous?”
Grace let off a little laugh and looked over her shoulder at the brunette. “It’s only weird if you’re threatening to steal her.”
I grinned back at her, in spite of myself. “Yeah, no. Still like boys.”
Leia got back to our table, dropping a pile of napkins in the center. “Feeling better?”
“You two make being melodramatic like a Regency heroine kind-of impossible.”
“Well, this isn’t one of your books. I’m not a fan of the whole ‘spend the next few months crying into a pillow while listening to depressing music’ thing. Please don’t tell me you’re planning on doing that, because if you are, I’ll have to change lunch tables.”