An Uncertain Choice(73)

“Nor I him,” I said with a widening smile. It had been the first day I hadn’t traveled with him on one of his excursions into the kingdom to evaluate and plan for improvements. When I’d informed him earlier in the day that I wasn’t planning to go, he’d wanted to postpone the trip.

But I’d insisted that he go without me. And he’d only done so reluctantly only after a great deal of persuasion.

I moved after Bartholomew as he led me down the winding staircase to the Great Hall. Even though Derrick had entered the castle walls, I knew it would take some time before he reached the inner bailey, dismounted his horse, and handed it over to the care of one of the stable hands.

Nevertheless, I wanted to be ready for him, wanted to be the first to greet him when he entered.

I was surprised when I made my way through the back passage of the Great Hall to hear a commotion coming from the front entry. My new porter was racing to the doors.

I’d been sad to have to send James on his way to find employment elsewhere, but after learning of his part in helping the abbot, Derrick had wanted to lock James away in the dungeon until he rotted to death.

However, I was convinced that in his heart James had only thought he was doing the best thing for me, had believed the abbot truly cared about me, the same way I had. No one had considered that the abbot was consumed with controlling me so that eventually he could control my lands.

Instead of punishing James, I’d finally persuaded Derrick to release him with the condition that he would move far away and never return.

The banging on the front doors grew more insistent until through the hallway, I could see the new porter opening doors. My breath snagged in my chest at the sight of Derrick striding into the castle, his face having grown more attractive with each passing day. He spoke tersely to the porter and then bounded toward the staircase.

“My lord,” I called from the center of the Great Hall.

My call stopped him. And when he turned and caught sight of me, he started toward me with quick, firm steps that echoed with determination.

As he drew nearer, my heart pounded louder, especially when the intensity of his gaze found me. His footsteps didn’t lessen. He stared directly at my lips with such purpose that I trembled with the desire rising within me.

When he reached me, he swiftly captured me, dragged me against his body, and crushed me in his arms. His lips descended upon mine with a fierceness that sent heat curling through down to my toes.

For a long moment, I lost myself in his kiss and his embrace, until finally he broke away, sucked in a deep breath, and whispered against my ear hoarsely. “I missed you today.”

I smiled. “I missed you too.”

“Not nearly as much as I did, I’m sure.”

He brushed a soft trail of kisses across my ear, making me nearly forget reason. “I thought about you every minute of the day,” I whispered.

“Just promise you won’t ever do this to me again. Promise that you’ll come with me every time from now on.” His hands wove into my hair, combing the long strands. His lips followed, and he buried his face in my hair, drawing in a deep breath. “The people expect you. They love you.”

“They love you too.”

“Not as much as you.”

I was grateful that when I’d assumed full leadership of my lands the people had transferred their allegiance to me eagerly. I’d already proven to them my devotion and compassion, and thankfully they respected me for it.

“I hated spending the day away from you,” he whispered, pulling me closer. “Please promise I won’t have to do it again.”

“I can’t promise that, my lord,” I said coyly.

He froze.

“Although I shall be loathe to let you ride alone,” I hurried, “I cannot promise to be with you every time . . .”

He drew back and studied my face, his gray eyes suddenly darkening.

“At least not for the next seven months.”

His eyes met mine, alight with questions and searching deeply for answers.

I slipped a hand to my abdomen, splaying it with reverence.

His gaze dropped to my hand, and when it rose again his face was alive, the weariness of the day gone. “Then you are — ??”

“We are having a baby,” I whispered.

He broke into a grin.

After kissing me again, twirling me around, and shouting the news for all the servants to hear, he finally pulled me into his arms.

I’d known how much he wanted a family. After so many years of grieving the one he’d lost as a boy, he was ready to move forward and to start building a legacy of his own. And I was more than a little relieved to know that I wouldn’t have the same problem as my mother in conceiving.

“Thank you,” he whispered, holding me tightly.

“Let’s thank the One who deserves it most.”

With a happy smile, he led me to the chapel, where we offered prayers of thankfulness to God for all that he’d given us. Every day, I offered him thanks for the opportunity to serve him alongside my husband, that I had the blessing of experiencing true love. I was more than grateful for the duke and his wisdom, his love, and his guidance. And I was grateful that my loneliness was truly gone, that I’d gained not only a lifelong companion, but also his friends as mine.

After praying and feasting together, we ended our day as we usually did, in front of the hearth with the chess game between us.