An Uncertain Choice(23)

“What will you do with all that remains from the feast, sir?”

Sir Collin sat back in his chair with a lazy, contented grin. “What would you have me do with the delicacies, my lady? Invite my friends to partake?”

He’d already given orders for the servants to begin erecting a stage in front of us, and I watched for a moment without answering, uncertain how to explain the deep concerns of my heart. Until now I’d had no trouble keeping up my end of the conversation with Sir Collin. He was easy to talk with and made me laugh more in one meal than I had in many months.

Nevertheless, I found it difficult to speak more seriously with him, especially about matters that were important to me.

“Would you have me feed your hunting dogs, my lady?” Sir Collin asked. “You need only say, and it shall be done.”

“Oh no, not the dogs,” I said, horrified at the thought of wasting all the food on animals alone. “I was hoping that we — or I — ?could distribute the excess among the poor.”

Sir Collin’s eyes widened at my suggestion. Thankfully, I saw no disapproval there, but neither did I see excitement at the prospect. Instead he shrugged. “If it means that I’ll get the chance to spend more time with you, my lady, then I shall be more than happy to oblige you in handing out the food.”

His answer was satisfying enough, and I rewarded him with a smile that lit up his summery-green eyes.

Later, as the jesters, jugglers, and even a dancing bear made their appearances on the stage, I tried to forget my hesitancies and just enjoy the evening. After the past few years of simplicity and solitude, I was bound to feel uncomfortable from time to time with normal life and relationships.

At least that’s what I told myself as the evening came to a close and Sir Collin walked me back to the keep amidst the chirping of crickets and the winking of stars overhead.

He stopped before the stone steps leading to the massive front doors. “I had a magnificent time with you tonight.”

“You did?” The thought was slightly intimidating. I wasn’t all that exciting to be around. In fact, I was rather shy, didn’t always know what to say, and still felt completely inadequate relating to men.

Sir Collin started to reach for my hands, but at the sight of the abbot ten paces behind me, he clasped his own behind his back. “I hope you had a good time too.”

“It was lovely,” I said. “I can’t remember having so grand an evening before either.” I was surprised by how much I meant it.

With my declaration, his grin made a quick but dazzling visit. Then before the abbot or I could object, he reached for my hand, brought it to his lips, and pressed a soft kiss there.

My heart swelled within my chest. And for the first time since I’d heard the news about the exception to the Ancient Vow, I realized that perhaps it was more possible than I’d believed to fall in love with one of the duke’s men.




The next day, Sir Collin rode with me throughout town as I gave away two cartloads of leftover food among those who were most needy. I was grateful for his company, but erelong I could see Sir Collin was growing bored. And as his yawns and yearning glances toward the castle increased, I knew it was time to wrap up my ministrations for the day.

When we returned, I was surprised at my reluctance to part ways with him. After spending the previous evening and now a second day in his presence, I’d finally begun to feel more comfortable around him. I’d found myself basking in the many conversations as well as the companionship.

Although I would have preferred another day in Sir Collin’s easy-going presence, on the duke’s encouragement I decided I had to be fair to all three of the men. I had to give them each a chance to win my heart.

Thus Sir Bennet’s special day arrived. I dressed in my finest, donned a smile, and did my best to enjoy his planned activities, especially when he’d gone to so much trouble to arrange an art fair outside the castle grounds. Local artisans, as well as those from neighboring lands, had arrived to display their crafts, including pottery, beaded jewelry, and woven tapestries.

After the first awkward moments, Sir Bennet’s utmost politeness and chivalry made me forget about everything but the displays that spread out in the open tents around me. We walked from canopy to canopy appreciating the fine workmanship, watching demonstrations, and discussing the merits of art and creativity.

“You have an eye for quality,” I said as we left the tent of a glassblower.

Sir Bennet’s raven hair shimmered almost blue-black in the sunshine. His dark blue eyes regarded me thoughtfully. “My parents have spent their lives collecting rare treasures and relics. I suppose it’s only natural that I should have an appreciation for art as well.”

The duke followed us a safe distance away. Since we were the only ones attending the fair, we’d been able to talk freely, and I’d found myself appreciating the more serious conversations that I could have with Sir Bennet. He was clearly intelligent and the topics steered toward issues of history and science, which fascinated me.

Sir Bennet stopped suddenly, and his dark brows furrowed over his flawless, handsome face. I took in his beautiful eyes with long lashes, as well as his perfectly straight nose and chiseled jaw. “I know a rare treasure when I see one.” His voice dropped. “And you are one of the rarest, my lady.”

“You’re too kind, sir. I’m not without flaws —?”