An Ember in the Ashes(70)

“Of course.”
“Then this will be a cinch for you. It’s not much different, really.”
Ten minutes later, I teeter on a six-inch-wide ledge hundreds of feet above the dunes, glaring daggers at Izzi. She is skittering along ahead, swinging from rock to rock like a trim blonde monkey.
“This is not a cinch,” I shout. “This is nothing like climbing trees!”
Izzi peers down at the dunes speculatively. “I hadn’t realized how high it was.”
Above us, a heavy yellow moon dominates the star-strewn sky. It’s a beautiful summer night, warm without a breath of wind. Since death lurks a misstep away, I can’t bring myself to enjoy it. After taking a deep gulp of air, I move another few inches down the path, praying the stone won’t crumble beneath my feet.
Izzi looks back at me. “Not there. Not there—not—”
“Gaaaaa!” My foot slips, only to land on solid rock a few inches lower than I expect.
“Shut it!” Izzi flaps a hand at me. “You’ll wake half the school!”
The cliff is pocked with knobs of jutting rock, some of which deteriorate as soon as I touch them. There is a trail here, but it is more appropriate for squirrels than humans. My foot slips on a particularly crumbly bit of stone, and I hug the cliff face until the vertigo sweeps past. A minute later, I accidently shove my finger into the home of some angry, sharp-pincered creature, and it scuttles over my hand and arm. I bite my lip to suppress a scream and shake my arm so vigorously that the scabs over my heart open. I hiss at the sudden, searing pain.
“Come on, Laia,” Izzi calls from ahead of me. “Almost there.”
I force myself forward, trying to ignore the maw of grasping air at my back.
When we finally reach a wide patch of solid ground, I nearly kiss the dirt in thankfulness. The river laps calmly at the nearby docks, the masts of dozens of small riverboats bobbing gently up and down like a forest of dancing spears.
“See?” Izzi says. “That wasn’t so bad.”
“We still have to go back.”
Izzi doesn’t answer. Instead, she looks intently into the shadows behind me. I turn, searching them with her, listening for anything out of the ordinary. The only sound is of water slapping hull.
“Sorry.” She shakes her head. “I thought...never mind. Lead the way.”
The docks crawl with laughing drunks and sailors stinking of sweat and salt. The ladies of the night beckon to anyone passing, their eyes like fading coals.
Izzi stops to stare, but I pull her after me. We stick to the shadows, trying our best to disappear into the darkness, to catch no one’s eye.
Soon we leave the docks behind. The further we get into Serra, the more familiar the streets become, until we climb over a low section of mud-brick wall and into the Quarter.
Home.
I never appreciated the smell of the Quarter before: clay and earth and the warmth of animals living close together. I trace my finger through the air, marveling at the whorls of dust dancing in the soft moonlight. Laughter tinkles from nearby, a door slams, a child shouts, and beneath it all, the low murmur of conversation thrums. So different from the silence that weighs on Blackcliff like a death shroud.
Home. I want it to be true. But this isn’t home. Not anymore. My home was taken from me. My home was burned to the ground.
We make our way toward the square at the center of the Quarter, where the Moon Festival is in full swing. I push back my scarf and undo my bun, letting my hair fall loose like all the other young women.
Beside me, Izzi’s right eye is wide as she takes it all in. “I’ve never seen anything like this,” she says. “It’s beautiful. It’s...” I take the pins from her fair hair. She puts her hands to her head, blushing, but I pull them down.
“Just for tonight,” I say. “Or we won’t blend in. Come on.”
Smiles greet us as we make our way through the exuberant crowds. Drinks are offered, salutations exchanged, compliments murmured, sometimes shouted, to Izzi’s embarrassment.
It is impossible not to think of Darin and how much he loved the festival.
Two years ago, he dressed in his finest clothing and dragged us to the square early. That was when he and Nan still laughed together, when Pop’s advice was law, when he had no secrets from me. He brought me stacks of moon cakes, round and yellow like the full moon. He admired the sky lanterns that lit the streets, strung so cleverly that they looked as if they were floating.
When the fiddles warbled and the drums thumped, he grabbed Nan and paraded her around the dance stages until she was breathless with laughter.
This year’s festival is packed, but remembering Darin, I feel wrenchingly alone. I’ve never thought about all the empty spaces at the Moon Festival, all the places where the disappeared, the dead, and the lost should be. What’s happening to my brother in prison while I stand in this joyful crowd? How can I smile or laugh when I know he’s suffering?
I glance at Izzi, at the wonder and joy on her face, and sigh, pushing away the dark thoughts for her sake. There must be other people here who feel as lonely as I do. Yet no one frowns, or cries, or sulks. They all find reason to smile and laugh. Reason to hope.
I spot one of Pop’s former patients and make a sharp turn away from her, pulling my scarf back up to shadow my face. The crowd is thick, and it will be easy to lose anyone familiar in the throng, but it’s better if I go unrecognized.
“Laia.” Izzi’s voice is small, her touch light on my arm. “Now what do we do?”
“Whatever we want,” I say. “Someone is supposed to find me. Until he does, we watch, dance, eat. We blend in.” I eye a nearby cart, manned by a laughing couple and surrounded by a mob of outstretched hands.