A Time for Hope (Lexi, #3)(43)
“You can pull out the disguise, it doesn’t have to be as you. Pretend to be the Groupie Whore!” Dan argued not willing to let it go, “I won’t even kiss you, though you would kick yourself if you knew what you were missing out on. Come on, I need this.” He insisted.
“You need this? Why the hell do you need to go on a date with me?” I stared at him confused before turning to Troy and hoping to get some understanding. “Troy, please tell me this is some elaborate joke?”
“Why don’t you tell her why Numbnuts?” Troy offered, before shooting me a wink. “So she doesn’t get you admitted on a 72-hour psych hold.”
Dan took a long, audible breath. “I got this family wedding, back in Yonkers. I really would rather not go at all but it means a lot to my Ma cause it’s her sister’s daughter, my first cousin. And we were close and shit growing up so, yeah she wants me there. So I need you to be my plus one. There is no way I can turn up there alone.” His voice trailed off like he was a scared little boy.
“Why can’t you go alone? You scared of getting hit on by bridesmaids? Surely this is right up your alley.” I was no closer to understanding the reason for this insanity than I had been before. I would have thought the idea of consoling some poor, unsuspecting girl who was maybe feeling a little fragile about being unmarried would have been like hitting the lottery for Dan.
“I can’t hook up with the bridesmaids. They are all my freaking cousins. We’re a big family but even twice removed that’s just f*cking wrong town. I have standards! And I can’t go stag cause then all my freaking Aunties are going to be trying to fix me up with someone. You don’t understand Lex, this is the Italian side of the family, they will be circling like f*cking piranhas.” Dan looked horrified as he explained his family predicament.
“So why don’t you just ask some random to go with you? There must be at least one decent girl you’ve met in the past couple of weeks you could stand for an evening,” I suggested. Dan was rarely short of female company.
“Are you kidding? I take a random to a family wedding, I might as well hand her my balls as well. Girls don’t take that shit lightly. She’ll want to date and before you know it, she’ll have picked out a church and a dress and be expecting me to propose. I ain’t going through that. Besides, the girls I date aren’t really the types of girls I want my Ma seeing. She still thinks of me as her little boy.” Dan seemed appalled and almost offended by my latest attempt to reach a solution.
“Dan, I can’t believe your mother isn’t aware of what you are like. For god’s sake your nocturnal activities are in the papers!” While I’m sure Mrs. Evans adored her son dearly, unless she was deaf, blind or lived in Siberia, she would be fully informed of Dan’s exploits.
“She doesn’t read that crap, so leave my Ma out of it. You going to help me or what?” Dan asked, his agitation increasing with the mention of his mother.
“Even if I did agree, which I haven’t, but say I lost my freaking mind and went with you to this wedding. And we turn up, me as your plus one. Your mother and probably everyone else there knows I’m married to Alex. Do you not think they are going to be wondering what the hell you are doing there with someone else’s wife?” I tried to rationalise. My face had been plastered all over the news, especially lately. While my fame hadn’t been earned the same way as theirs, I was famous by default so regardless I was instantly recognizable.
“I’ll deal with that later. Besides you’ve got a disguise - wear that. You just act all sweet and shy and no one will even notice it’s you.” Dan fobbed my rebuttal off like it was an insignificant detail.
“Troy’s right, you do need a 72-hour psych hold.” I stared at Dan, convinced that a psychological evaluation wasn’t such a bad idea.
“I really don’t see what the problem is. I told you I’m not going to try and sleep with you. You put on a pretty dress, you hang off my arm and you smile. What’s the problem? It’s one night! I can’t believe you are being such a hard ass about this.” Dan struggled to comprehend why I was so resistant, diminishing any concerns I may have held.
“OH MY GOD! Please tell me you didn’t just tell me you want me to ‘put on a pretty dress, hang off your arm and smile.’ Like I could ever be anyone’s, most of all your, showpiece. Dan get the hell out of my office before I kick your ass.” I felt my temperature rise as I moved from disbelief to fury. He had just crossed the line and I was done entertaining this idea.
“Here I was thinking you were a team player and you are being so f*cking unreasonable!” Dan huffed as he was unwilling to let it go. “Pretend you aren’t married to Stone, wouldn’t you want to look out for me? I mean how’s it going to look in the press if some broad gets the wrong idea. I’m really saving you a lot of work in the long run.”
“Unreasonable is that you would even ask. That you would consider this an actual option.” My voice increased in ferocity. “What do you think Alex is going to say if I casually walk in the door tonight and say, guess what baby, Dan and I are planning on going on this hot date to his cousin’s wedding? I can tell you right now, he would not be ok with that. I am not ok with that. And as for you sparing me from my workload, I really don’t see why you are so concerned about this now, you’ve never cared in the past.”