A Thief of Nightshade(22)

AUBREY HAD MOVED PLEASANTLY IN AND

OUT of sleep for several hours, floating seamlessly from dream to day and back.

Finally, the feel of Jullian’s unshaven jaw nudged her past the dividing line and she woke up.

“It’s noon, love.” He was on top of the covers, peering down at her.

She blinked, allowing her eyes a brief respite to adjust to the sunlight streaming in the window. Seeing the peaceful expression on his face reminded her of how unpeaceful her night had been.

She sat up abruptly.

“You had another nightmare, didn’t you?” she asked. Somewhere near two in the morning, Jullian had woken her up in one of his feverish fits. He would toss and turn in maddening struggle, as if he were fighting for his life. He would sweat and his skin would burn to the touch. It frightened her and she couldn’t count how many times she’d begged him to go to the doctor.

“I woke you,” he said apologetically.

“I couldn’t care less that you woke me, Jullian. This isn’t healthy for you. Do you ever remember them?”

He lifted her from the blankets and sheets and held her against his chest, feathering light kisses on her forehead. “I don’t ever want to forget. As bad as nightmares are, they are far better than the alternative.”

She curled into him tighter. “You dream about your past?”

“Mostly.”

“But not always?”

He let his lips linger while he considered his answer. “No, not always.”

She didn’t press him. She never did.

Jullian wasn’t the type of person who could be coerced into answering what he hadn’t voluntarily admitted. If he wanted her to know, he would tell her and it would mean that much more when he’d trusted her enough to confide in her. Until then, she was pacified by his tenderness and his doting touch. The wedding was in three months, the sheer number of events preceding it bordered on the obscene and no matter how much she tried, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was on the verge of something much, much larger than herself. She’d always felt that way with Jullian.

“I don’t exactly have nightmares anymore, but I used to,” she admitted.

Jullian often told her she was afraid of her own shadow.

“Samantha told me.”

She pushed out of his hold enough to look at him in mock horror. “She didn’t!

You know, I don’t think she’s ever going to stop calling you Dr. Sellars. What else did she tell you?”

Jullian forcefully pulled her back to him. “Well, she told me that if I ever hurt you, I would have hell to pay, by her hands no less. I believe her completely and utterly. Good thing she has nothing to worry about. I would give my life for yours, you know this, don’t you?” There was an odd inflection in his voice, almost as though he really thought she didn’t know it.

“Of course. This has to do with your dreams, doesn’t it?” He’d been writing with manic pace for the last few weeks, a new book about Avalar, his darkest yet.

“They always get worse when you write like this ... your nightmares, I mean.”

He agreed. “Yes. But I must.” He struggled for words, his usual fluency halting awkwardly. “I wish ... there is so much I want to ... I can’t imagine how you put up with me, my secrecy and my obvious issues with the past.” He looked at her, his steely blue eyes begging her to ease his mind. “Just promise me ... this won’t make any sense to you, but tell me anyway that should you ever find yourself in harm’s way, you’ll remember the things that I’ve said to you. You’ll remember that I love you.” He placed his hand over the necklace that hung beneath her t-shirt. She knew it meant a great deal to him, but this time he was right, what he was saying didn’t make any sense.

She smiled warmly, taking his face in her hands as she so often did. “You do this sometimes and I will never understand why. You wake from these nightmares, holding me like I am going to slip away from you, where to I don’t have a clue.

You watch over me like there are real monsters in the dark, and I love you for it, but something haunts you and I cannot help

you unless you open up to me.”

“You no longer fear the dark because you know there isn’t anything there, but what if you couldn’t be assured of that?”

To be fair, she knew something was there ... in the dark ... she always had. But she hated it when he would get this way, speaking in riddles and suggesting ridiculous concepts that had to come from the hours he spent in his own head while he was writing. “What happened to you?”

she asked quietly. “Where are these nightmares coming from?”

Avalar

“I can walk.” Aubrey pushed at Aislinn as he tried to pick her up. She then darted to the opposite side of the street. Her pain, like magic, had vanished. She gathered that could be attributed to whatever the madame had given her. Her irritation at Aislinn’s dishonesty, however...

“This

is

ridiculous,”

Aislinn

grumbled. “You can’t even walk a straight line, come back over here.”

She had no interest in talking to him; in fact, she didn’t even want to look at him and instead of heeding his beckoning, she stumbled farther down the narrow alley on her own side.

“Aubrey,