A Midsummer's Nightmare(59)

“We just want you to be happy, Whit.”

“I know,” I said. “Which is why I’ve decided to stop wallowing and try to enjoy the rest of my summer. Because no matter what happens with Dad, I have friends. I’m not alone. And that’s what counts, right?”

“Sounds like dirty dancing with Harrison clarified some things for you,” he said. “Maybe I should try it sometime.”

I snorted. “Harrison would love that! No, seriously, he would. He has a crazy crush on you.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“Wow. I’m flattered.”

“You should be,” I said, glancing at myself in the mirror over the dresser. “He’s a sexy beast. You’d be a lucky man.”

“I’m sure I would be.” He laughed.

I turned back to Nathan, smiling. “College starts in just over two weeks. I know I’ll see you there, but I don’t have much summer left to spend with Bailey and Harrison. So I’m going to take advantage of it. Fuck Dad. Fuck the people in this town. They’re not going to ruin this for me, goddamn it.”

“Beautiful speech,” he said, raising his hands and clapping them together. “Bravo.”

“Oh, stop that.” I reached forward and grabbed his wrists, pulling his hands apart. “You are such a moron.”

He was smiling, laughing. His skin was warm beneath my palms. Suddenly, those feelings overcame me again. The urges I’d been experiencing since the aloe incident. The emotions I’d realized the night we watched movies in his bedroom. I’d been working hard to fight them off, but…

His lips pulled into a smirk, sending a tingly feeling down my spine.

“Oh, screw it,” I whispered.

I leaned down, pushing his arms out of the way, and kissed him. His lips were soft against mine. Tender. Without even realizing it, I moved onto the bed, straddling his lap. His hands broke free of my grip and moved to press against my back, pulling me into him, even as the kiss remained gentle and slow.

For a minute, it was perfect.

“Whitley,” he murmured against my mouth, breathless. “We can’t do this.”

“Shh…” I pressed in closer, my arms twisting around his neck. “It’s okay. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks.”

I kissed him again, so hard this time that he fell backward against the pillows, with me landing on top of him. He wanted me, too. I could tell by the way he kissed me back, his lips parting, his tongue finally sliding next to mine. It sent a surge of excitement rippling through my limbs. My heart started racing, and as my fingers moved down his chest, I could feel that his was, too.

It felt so good to give in to temptation. To have his careful hands gliding over me. Not pawing or grabbing. Not greedy. They slid down my back, up my sides, curled in my hair. Slow, lingering touches.

My head began to spin. My whole body felt alive, like it was on fire. I gasped for breath between each kiss, my fingers digging into his soft cotton T-shirt. Something like euphoria swept over me, and I couldn’t think about anything anymore. It was just Nathan and me and way too many layers of clothing between us. I wanted to touch every inch of him. I wanted to melt into him. I wanted him. So much.

But Nathan’s hand moved to my shoulder, and without warning he pushed me up, away from him.

“No,” he panted. “I can’t do this, Whit.”

“Nathan,” I whined. “We’re not actually related. It isn’t weird, okay? Please, just—”

“That’s not it,” he said, rolling me off of him and sitting up on the bed.

I propped myself on an elbow, frustrated. “Then what the hell is your problem?” I demanded. “Seriously, Nathan. I’ve thrown myself at you twice, and you shut me down both times. I know you want me, too.”

“That’s just it,” he said, standing up and walking across the room. “I want you… more of you than you’re willing to give.”

“More than I’m…?” I frowned, getting to my knees on the mattress. “What are you talking about?”

He turned to face me, his hand already on the doorknob. “I told you. I don’t want to be that kind of guy. I don’t just want sex, Whit. I want more. I want everything. I want you.”

“Nathan…”

“I’m not settling for less, Whitley,” he said. “And neither should you.”

And he walked out of the room.

For a minute, I was pissed. Really pissed. He wanted everything, but what was everything? I was all over him, willing to do anything in that moment. Anything. What more could he ask for?

Then I remembered what he’d told me in the diner after Harrison’s party. He didn’t want something cheap. He wanted a girl he liked, a girl he could have a future with. And he wanted me to be that girl. He had since graduation night, since we’d made out in the armchair and I’d named all the songs about blue eyes. Even then, he hadn’t just wanted my body. He’d wanted me.

And after this summer, after I’d broken his heart, after he’d actually gotten to know me, he hadn’t changed his mind. I fell backward onto the pillows. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

It took me a long time to stand up, but I did. There was something I had to do. Something I’d been afraid to attempt for weeks. But, finally, I felt like I could do it.