#Junkie (GearShark #1)(93)

“Don’t ask me to do that,” I pleaded with him. “Don’t ask me to wonder every time you leave the house if you’re going to be someone’s victim. Don’t ask me to watch you get torn apart in the media for your relationship with a man.”

“We don’t know that will happen.” He tried to reason. “Emily thinks it will help my career.”

“Emily isn’t the one in love with you. I am. I’m not going to exploit the fact I fell in love with my best friend to sell magazines.”

“I don’t expect you to.”

“And I don’t expect you to lie.” I rubbed a hand over my head and made a sound. “I don’t want to sneak around. I don’t want to pretend I’m just your manager when really you’re my entire world.”

“So you’re breaking up with me?” He pulled back, hurt and pain in his expression.

I looked away. “Yeah.”

“No.”

My head shot up. “No?” I couldn’t help it. I was amused.

“I don’t accept that. I don’t break up with you.”

“You don’t have a choice.” My voice was final. My decision was made.

“If you love me as much as you say you do, then fight,” he challenged.

“This is me fighting. Fighting to keep you safe.”

“Fuck my protection!” Drew roared and shot across the room. The sound of a heavy thud and the cracking of drywall made me wince.

He yanked his arm back, pulling his fist out of the hole he just made in the wall. His knuckles were bloody.

Ignoring the blood, he stormed across the room and snatched something off his dresser. He threw it on the bed. It landed with a thud between my legs.

“Ask that,” he huffed.

I picked up the magic eight ball I’d given him. “Ask it what?”

“Ask it if we should be together. Let’s let fate decide.”

My fingers tightened around the ball. “I already did,” I said miserably.

“What?”

“You asked me before if I asked it a question.”

“You said no.”

“I lied. I asked it if we should be together. It said ‘all signs point to no.’”

He laughed, but it wasn’t with humor. “It’s a dumb toy. It doesn’t know anything.”

“Yet here we are.”

Drew’s head snapped back like I punched him. “It took me months and months and months to finally admit to myself how much I cared about you. In one week, the one goddamned week we’ve been together, I learned all those months of agony were worth it. I’d do it all again to end up here.”

My heart hurt. It felt like someone was physically ripping it in half.

“So no, Trent. No.” He went on. “We aren’t over. We’ve only just begun.”

He was beautiful. A f*cking beautiful, stubborn man.

I’d love him for the rest of my life.

And then I’d love him longer.

“I’m tired.” I didn’t have to pretend to be weary. I turned my face away from him, refusing to look in his eyes.

“Trent.”

I squeezed my eyes shut against the pain in his voice.

When he realized I wasn’t going to turn back, an angry sound ripped from his chest. The door to the room banged against the wall when he flung it open and stormed out.

The second I was alone, I crumbled. My strength to push him away dissolved, and I was left lying there a bruised and broken mess.

The eight ball was still clutched in my hand, and I pulled it into my chest.

My resolve wavered. His hurt and open heart made me think I was wrong. I glanced down at the toy and blinked to clear my vision.

Ask it one more time.

One final decision.

Is this what my life had come to? Relying on a toy to decide my future?

I didn’t know what was right anymore. I was confused. Maybe it wasn’t just a toy deciding for me. Maybe it was like Drew said.

Maybe it was fate.

Fate knew what it was doing. Right?

I lifted the ball and gave it a good shake. “Should Drew and I be together?”

I turned it over in my hand so the window was facing up.

The small triangle inside bounced around and floated to the surface.

This was it.

My answer.

My fate.





The Finish Line… For Now

GearShark Issue #2 coming soon





Note from the AUTHOR



If I were asked to describe this book in one word, I would choose beautiful. To me, this book is beautiful, underneath the racing and the cars. Underneath the one-liners and the French fries.

Basically, if you lift the hood of #Junkie (Like that car analogy I slipped in there?), you will find something beautiful.

I’m going to be frank.

(And why did my mind just yell franks and beans! God. I need to get a grip.)

This book challenged me in ways no book ever has. I didn’t think I could write this book. I wanted to write it. I really wanted to.

This story wasn’t really words inside me, but a jumble of feelings. I kept saying to people (well, only a couple, because let’s face it. I sound crazy), I can feel this book inside me.