You've Reached Sam(53)

“No, ” I say.

We all glance at each other, trying to think of ideas that won’t get us into trouble.

“Do you really need a school club to host a movie?” Yuki asks. “We can always get together informally.”

“No, but if we get approval, the school gives us a hundred-dollar budget for snacks,” Rachel explains.

Oliver smacks the table. “Then we need these signatures!” he says, and everyone laughs.

“Since you’re popular, Oliver, do you think you can help us?” Rachel asks, handing him the form again.

“On the condition I get final say on what we eat.”

“Deal.”

Oliver holds up his hand. They high-five each other.

“Hey, it’s Mika—” Jay points behind me.

I look up and see her walking this way. She hasn’t made an appearance at lunch in a while. “Mika!” I call her name but she hurries pasts us without looking at me, and disappears through hallway doors.

Yuki frowns. “Is she okay?”

“She doesn’t look too good,” Oliver notes. He turns to me. “Have you spoken to her lately?”

“I’ve tried to … But she keeps avoiding me.”

“Is she mad at you?”

“I guess so.” I look down at my tray, feeling guilty for letting things get this way. “I missed the vigil after I promised her I’d go. I missed a lot of things. So she doesn’t think much of me right now.”

“I ran into her in the restroom yesterday,” Rachel says. “She was crying.”

Oliver leans back in his chair. “That’s rough. I wish there was something we could do.”

“Me, too,” I say.

The table goes quiet for a while. No one really touches their food.

Especially me. I can’t seem to eat at all. How can I after promising Sam I’d make sure Mika’s okay? I could have reached out to her more. It’s like I’m failing him. Failing the three of us. After all, it’s my fault she isn’t talking to me. I wish I could just tell her about Sam. Maybe it would fix everything, and we would understand each other again.

After a long silence, Rachel looks up at us. “I have an idea. We should invite her to release the lanterns with us. It might help her, too.”

I look at her. “Lanterns?”

“It’s the idea we came up with,” Yuki says, nodding. “To honor Sam, we’re going to release lanterns for him. They’re called memory lanterns. It lets you whisper something to a person you lost, and the lantern will carry the message to them in the sky.”

“Like little hot-air balloons,” Rachel explains. She uses her hands to cup something invisible. “You put a candle inside and watch them float away.”

She raises her hands, as if releasing something.

“It’s a long tradition across different many cultures,” Yuki goes on.

“People have been doing it for thousands of years. All over the world, for many kinds of ceremonies. It brings peace and good luck.”

The image of lanterns skimming the air floats across my mind. “It sounds beautiful…” I say.

Rachel leans forward. “That means you like our idea?”

I can’t help smiling. “It’s perfect.”

She claps her hands together. “I’m so excited. I’ve seen it in movies.

And I’ve always wanted to do it.”

“There is one problem,” Yuki says, sharing a look with Jay. “We are having some trouble finding a place to release them. It has to be away from town, somewhere like an open field.”

I think about this. “I know a place. A field, I mean. I can bring us there.”

“Perfect!” Rachel says.

Smiles are exchanged around the table as we continue our conversation about the lanterns. A few days ago, I wasn’t sure if anything would ever come to fruition. But listening to everyone sharing ideas to make this happen brings me a sense of joy. I realize this isn’t about me anymore.

Especially if Mika and Oliver are there, too. This is something beautiful for us to share together. And it will all be for Sam.

At the end of lunch, before we all pack up to go, I say one last thing to the table. “Thanks again for all of this. I think Sam would truly love your idea if he was here.”

Yuki touches my shoulder. “We’ll let you know when we have it ready.

It’s going to be something special. We promise.”

The school day goes by quickly. Oliver and I are supposed to walk home together, but he texted me last period, saying he has to stay after class to discuss his grade. I left his jacket in my locker, so I go to grab it along with some books. The hallway is packed as I’m heading out. I bump into someone’s trombone case and drop my things. As I bend down to pick them up, someone murmurs something.

“Nice jacket.”

I look up to find the voice.

Taylor stares down at me as I gather the rest of my things and straighten up. A group of her friends stand beside her, watching. “Is that Oliver’s?”

she asks.

Of course it is. She knows this. What does she expect me to say? “He’s just letting me borrow it.”

“When did you two become so close?”

“What do you mean? We’ve always been friends.”