You Promised Me Forever (Forever Yours #1)(39)

It’s almost reassuring to hear her say exactly what I was thinking. “I know, and it scares me. Getting back together with Jordan…scares me a lot.”

As soon as I confess this, the relief that hits me is almost staggering. It feels so good, admitting my secret emotions to my friend.

Lena sits up straighter, her expression determined. “So. Is it a good fear or bad fear?”

She’s totally confusing me. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, does the thought of getting back together with Jordan make you feel…afraid? Like in a dark and foreboding way? Or is it more the fear of the unknown.”

Jordan has never scared me in a dark or foreboding way. I always felt safe with Jordan. Now, not so much, only because of the uncertainty of everything that’s happening between us. I know him, but I don’t. I understand him, yet I don’t.

Confusing, right? I make no sense. My emotions are a mixed-up jumble of insecure teenage Amanda and confident, grown-up Amanda.

“It’s the unknown,” I admit. “It could be great, but what if I mess it up again?” Or he could mess it up this time around.

“The only way you’ll know is if you try.” Lena reaches out and grabs my hand, giving it a little squeeze. “Would you rather try one more time? Or have a lifetime of regret?”

“Well, when you put it like that…” My voice drifts and I start to laugh, squeezing her hand in return. “I don’t like regret.”

“Then I guess we know your answer then.” She smiles.

I swallow hard, ignoring the way my stomach flutters with nerves.

I guess we do know my answer.





My phone rings at exactly seven o’clock, which is when Jordan said he’d call—though he didn’t tell me it would be a FaceTime call. Thank goodness I still look decent and I already changed out of the work polo.

I hit answer and wait eagerly for his face to fill my screen.

My breath catches when he’s finally there, a little smile curling his lips when we make eye contact. “Hey,” he says in that easygoing way of his. Like it’s no big deal that we’re talking like this. That the last time I saw him, we made out and I ended up coming all over his jeans.

Seriously, I need to get over my embarrassment. We’re trying to make this work. I have every right to basically hump Jordan and have an orgasm.

“Hi,” I say, trying to keep it together. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” he says, leaning back against a headboard. Guess he’s sprawled out on the bed in his hotel room. I wish I was with him. “Tired.”

“Time change messing you up?”

“Kind of.” He hides a yawn, and it hits me how much I miss him. Silly, considering how long we haven’t been in each other’s lives. I spend a few days with him, and now it isn’t enough. “How are you?”

“Good. It was a crazy day.” I already decided I won’t tell him about my earlier argument with Cade. No need to fire Jordan up over nothing.

“Listen, I’m going to cut right to the chase.” His expression is grim and worry makes my heart start pounding. “I don’t think you should come to Florida.”

“Oh.” My voice is small. My heart is sinking. “Okay.”

“Don’t get all butt hurt.” His voice is teasing, that smile coming back. “I have a better idea.”

Curiosity fills me. “What’s your better idea?”

“Do you have a passport?”

“Um, yeah. Got one two years ago when I went with friends to Mexico for a few days.”

“Perfect. That should work then.” He’s got this far away look on his face. Almost like he’s talking to himself.

“What should work?” I ask.

“I want you to come with me.” He pauses. “To England.”

“What? Are you serious?”

“Dead serious,” he says with a nod.

England? Really? “When?”

“We’re playing an exhibition game in London at Wembley Stadium a week from this Sunday. What do you think?” He lifts his brows.

My mind is racing with the possibilities—and the obstacles. I wish I could just pick up on a whim and go wherever I want, whenever I want to, but I don’t have that luxury. “I-I don’t know if I could get the time off.”

“Don’t you get vacation time?”

“Well, yeah. I get one week a year.” As in, I have five paid days off. “But usually we have to request the time off at least a month in advance.”

“Think they could make an exception?”

“I don’t know,” I answer, chewing on my lower lip.

I go quiet for a moment, thinking of all the things I’d need to do before I leave—if I even can leave, when Jordan finally asks, “Do you want to go to London with me?”

He sounds so unsure, and that’s unusual for Jordan Tuttle. He was—and still is—the most confident person I’ve ever known. He just always makes everything he does look so damn easy.

Throw a touchdown and win the game? He can do that.

Pass that test with an A yet never bothered to study? He can do that too.

Pursue his dream career with pure determination and end up playing for the NFL like it’s no big deal? Yep, he sure did that.