You Had Me at Halo(61)

“But you see, all the whispers were true. It wasn’t an accident.” Holly felt strangely calm as she spoke. “I told them all it was, but it wasn’t. That night I just didn’t see the point of living without my dad. So I did it. It was easy you know—t e actual cutting—and for a minute I was happy, but then I got to the hospital and I saw him. My dad.”

She started to laugh as she tucked her legs in front of her and wrapped her arms around them. “It’s not really funny, is it? But the thing is now I’m dead I know how hard it was for him to visit me. Story of my life really—finding things out too late.”

Suddenly Holly stopped laughing. “But he couldn’t hide it, Vince. He couldn’t hide how disappointed he was in me. You see he had died after a long, painful battle with cancer and he had fought it every step of the way. He was so brave and dignified. And what did I do? Get a razor and let the life seep out of me with two easy strokes. That’s why, when I survived, I was too embarrassed to tell the truth. Plus, I was grateful to be given another chance. To prove to my dad I wasn’t a quitter.”

Holly realized her eyes were shut and she opened them up and looked around the room in shock. “That’s why I wanted to see him so bad up in heaven. To tell him it was an accident and that for the last six years I’ve worked my butt off. I guess that’s not going happen.” Holly sniffed. “I don’t even know why I’ve told you...well, not that you’re here, but I’m pretending you are. Actually, that’s another thing I’ve discovered about you, Vincent Ryan Murphy. You’re a great listener.”

“Thanks,” Vince said in his trademark drawl, which caused Holly to fall off the bed in shock.

Unbelievable.





CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR


“Hey,” Vince complained. “Don’t stand up so quickly. It’s making me dizzy. I’ve been knocked out remember.”

“I thought you were still knocked out.” Holly tried to mask her mortification as she reluctantly sat back down again. “How much did you hear?”

“Well, you did mention how brave and strong I was.”

“Oh, God,” Holly groaned. “I was only saying that stuff because I didn’t think you were awake.”

“You said I was a good listener,” Vince protested.

“I was being rhetorical.” Holly gritted her teeth; an action that Vince immediately reversed.

“Well, I thought it was nice. Besides, since you’ve found out all of my secrets, it’s only right I know a few of yours. Is that why you told me?”

“Maybe,” she admitted. That and the fact that after tomorrow Holly wouldn’t remember them herself and it sort seemed wrong to just let Dr. Hill wipe them away. Perhaps it was like a last confession?

She vaguely remembered a long ago Sunday school lesson where the vicar’s wife talked about the dark night of the soul. Well, Holly was guessing she’d had one of them. Though did it count if the body was dead? Also, she had the feeling the person was meant to come out the other end of the experience feeling cleansed and pure, but that wasn’t quite going to happen either. Holly was going to come out of this without a clue what her middle name was, let alone whether she liked chocolate (yes), The OC (very much) or the Backstreet Boys (as if).

“Hey.” Vince groaned and Holly realized he was looking down at his knuckles. “Don’t tell me I’ve gone from being a womanizer and a criminal to now being a thug?”

Holly studied Vince’s hand. Boy, Todd’s face had really made a dent and the three middle knuckles were now red, raw, and throbbing. She hadn’t even noticed, or if she had, she’d probably found the pain comforting compared to how she was feeling on the inside.

“So I guess you’d better fill me in on what’s happened since I’ve been gone.”

Since she’d already told him her darkest secrets, it seemed petty to try and keep him out of the loop. “The short version is that Todd and Rochelle Jackson have been having an affair behind my back and after he was rather rude to me, I punched him.”

Holly could feel Vince biting down on his lip to stop from laughing. “I see,” he said in a constrained voice. “You hit Todd.”

“In the face,” Holly clarified.

“Always a good place,” he agreed and she could feel a small smile starting to tug at his lips.

“It’s not funny,” she moaned. “I really messed up. Todd was furious and that’s not all. We forgot to drop those laptops and manuals off to Peterson’s and even though Andrew went and did it later on, I think it might be too late. What if I’ve cost you your—”

“Holly.”

“But—”

“But nothing. This isn’t about me, so stop worrying about that and let’s concentrate on you.”

“Your restraint in rubbing it in is a wondrous thing,” Holly agreed before letting out a long sigh. “But as for me, well it doesn’t really matter. If I can punch Todd in the nose, Dr. Hill’s wiz bang machine is going to know I’m not over my issues. In fact I’ve probably collected even more emotional baggage since I’ve been here.”

Not least of which was the fact she kept thinking of how much nicer it felt now that Vince was back. Surely that was a thought that couldn’t do anyone any good.