Written on the Wind (The Blackstone Legacy #2)(78)

Behind him, the two women chatted, and Natalia’s cooing over the infant felt like shards of glass. He could lay a fortune at her feet, but he could never give her a child, and that fact would hurt until his dying day.



Natalia’s heart ached as she escorted Dimitri to the steamship that would take him back to Russia. She clasped his hand as they walked toward the embarkation point. All around her, life went on as usual. Water sloshed against boulders lining the harbor, seagulls wheeled overhead, and excited children pestered their parents to board the ship, but inside, her heart was breaking.

It was time to say good-bye. She was determined to do it with grace and good cheer. After all, Dimitri was going home to his beloved Mirosa, and she ought to be overjoyed for him.

“I will forever wish you well,” she said, looking him in the face even though it mirrored the pain in her own.

“This doesn’t have to be the end, does it?” he asked. “Even after we have secured the czar’s agreement . . . you will still send me telegrams, won’t you?”

She nodded. “Of course.”

“I am not sure what will happen once I arrive back in Russia. The road ahead is not clear to me.”

“Please don’t die heroically,” she said, trying to laugh a little. “I know that would be breaking with Russian tradition, but, Dimitri, I couldn’t bear it.”

“Shh. If the worst happens, we shall be like characters in one of those epic novels that hold the world spellbound by exploring the depth of human misery.”

Natalia pulled back a few inches. “I never thought a man would try to tempt me with the prospect of ‘exploring the depth of human misery.’ Is that the best you can do?”

He leaned down to touch his forehead to hers. The wistful smile on his face caused the corners of his eyes to crinkle with affection. “We have known great joy, have we not, Natalia?”

She nodded. It was the best she could do because of the lump in her throat.

“I don’t think the worst will happen, but I am not afraid to die,” he continued. “If God calls me home early, I will go, knowing I have done my best to carry out His will.”

She loved that he had such faith. Everything he said was correct, but she wasn’t as good and selfless as Dimitri.

“I still wish you wouldn’t go. I love you and I’m afraid for you.”

He tucked a few wayward strands of hair behind her ear. “Don’t fear for me. Natalia . . . I will never stop hoping that you can join me at Mirosa. You can come with me right now. Walk up the gangplank with me. The captain of the ship can marry us today.”

She couldn’t take it anymore. She reached up to grab his cheeks and pull him down for a hard, fast kiss. “Go,” she said. “Go and make the czar honor his agreement. Go get your title back and return to Mirosa in time for the apple harvest.”

Mercifully, he didn’t press her. He merely clasped her hand over the pounding of his heart. “I will carry you here always,” he said, then turned, and she watched until his tall frame disappeared through the gates.

A better woman would wait for him to emerge on the deck of the ship to wave a final good-bye, but she couldn’t. It would be awful if Dimitri’s last sight of her on this earth was of her blubbering on the shore as he sailed away.

She straightened her shoulders and turned around, pushing through the throngs of people preparing to wave farewell to the ship. She hadn’t cried. She’d comported herself like a sensible woman who was going to survive this heartbreak perfectly well. There wasn’t even any need to retreat home. Instead, she would visit stores that sold phonographs to begin learning about the music industry.

Her good intentions lasted until she reached the street, where she was surprised to see Liam waiting beside a carriage. His face softened in sympathy when he spotted her, and he closed the distance between them.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, though she suspected the answer.

“I figured you could use a friend right now. Let me take you to the Black Rose. We can both play hooky from work and go for a sail.”

“I’m fine,” she said. “Truly. You don’t need to help me pick up the pieces.” She would have sounded more convincing if her voice hadn’t cracked on that last bit, but her eyes started to prickle, and sometimes everything was just so hard.

“You’re not fine,” Liam said. “Come home with me.”

She was glad he said it instead of her. Everything was falling apart. Nothing was left. Her face crumpled, and Liam’s arms closed around her.

“You’re going to be okay,” he said. “It’ll just take some time, but you’re the toughest lady I know.”

She wasn’t tough. She was a weepy mess and had just lost the man she would probably love forever.

A heartbreak was something she could survive, and it was time to embark on a new life. The one she would have chosen for herself was gone, but a blank canvas lay ahead. It was up to her to decide what the rest of her life would look like.

Her first order of business was to make Tachenko’s recording and mass-produce copies to distribute all over the country, because despite Dimitri’s assurances, Natalia still didn’t trust the czar.





29





An ominous sense of uncertainty tormented Dimitri throughout his voyage home. It took three weeks to make his way back to Saint Petersburg, all the while wondering if the czar’s promise might somehow be a cruel trick that would be revoked the moment he set foot on Russian soil.